


Midnight Desire

by Twilightzoner



Category: Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: F/M, Parody, Romance, Sexual Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-07-13
Updated: 2008-07-13
Packaged: 2018-03-15 18:00:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 85,999
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3456596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Twilightzoner/pseuds/Twilightzoner
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An All Human parody of Midnight Sun. AH, AU and consequently OOC. No blood lust - just uncontrollable human lust. Smut filled fun . . .</p><p>A/N: It was said of early vampire books and movies that vampirism was simply a thinly disguised substitute for sex. Back in the day, the entire genre was considered extremely risqué. With that in mind, this is an ALL HUMAN parody of Midnight Sun replacing all the vampirism with sexuality - no blood lust - just extreme human lust.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

As I sat in the school cafeteria with my siblings, all I could think of, for the thousandth time that day, was "God, how I hate high school." It really was purgatory, sitting here day after day, listening to teachers endlessly whine about subjects on which I was far more advanced than they could possibly know.

Until we moved here two years ago, we were all being educated at an advanced school for gifted children, not that the term actually included Emmett and Rosalie, but when your parents are paying extravagant sums in tuition, you'd be surprised by the exceptions such schools will make. When my mother decided she wanted to live in a small town and my father felt it would be a "good thing" to dedicate his exceptional medical talent to a rustic hospital, we were dragged here to the most miserable, cloudiest and wettest place on earth—Forks, Washington. I doubt my parents realized just how painful it was for us to be here. And for someone like me, who rarely made a connection with another person, it was truly heinous to be surrounded all day by the banal children this small town housed.

My siblings and I were just too different—too good looking, too smart, too sophisticated and most unforgivable, too wealthy. In addition, the locals seemed to be just a little overly obsessed with the fact that my four adopted siblings also happened to be two couples who were romantically involved. If they had bothered to ask, I could have told them that Jasper and Emmett, who I now thought of as my brothers, were relatively recent additions to the family and had not grown up with my sisters and me. But they didn't care to ask and I surely didn't care to educate them. The more reasons they had to leave me alone, the better.

It was bad enough when we first moved here to find all of the girls in school throwing themselves at me. It didn't matter that they knew nothing about me—I could have been a depraved killer for all they cared. It was all about my looks—my "bronze hair" and "piercing emerald" eyes. I overheard many such comments in those days—how cute, how tall, how built I was. I didn't really consider my looks all that exceptional, surrounded as I generally was by my equally attractive family. But apparently we caused quite the stir at Forks High. And since I was the only "single" Cullen available, I was on the receiving end of most of the attention. It had taken approximately two weeks before I was able to dissuade the most persistent of them. It wasn't easy for me. I had been raised to be polite—to be a gentleman. Eventually, the cold stares and clipped responses got the message across, although from time to time I thought I still caught a glimpse of unrequited yearning on certain faces.

I suspected that most of the student body promptly concluded I was gay. They weren't alone—I firmly believed that my family had at least speculated on that same point from time to time. But since I failed to show any interest in anyone, male or female, I simply became known as some sort of freaky loner or stuck-up rich kid. The fact is, people my own age just don't intrigue me, male or female. They're just too uninteresting – not fully formed enough to capture my attention. In contrast, I work hard to constantly educate and improve myself. I enjoy reading and learning about literature, art, movies, music, science and history—about pretty much everything. I am well read and well traveled. It is just extremely difficult for me to connect to any teenager, let alone these small town adolescents.

That said, it's not like I never saw a girl I was attracted to—I did from time to time. I even felt some degree of…stimulation on occasion. It's just that the first time she would open her mouth and some inanity poured forth, I couldn't maintain it. At that moment, whatever initial appeal I felt would instantly dissipate, and I would be left wondering what had caught my attention in the first place. It wasn't that I wanted to be this way. I had thought countless times that it would be so much easier if I was "normal"—if I could just go out and "get laid" as Emmett so quaintly expressed it. But I knew that if by some circumstance I suddenly found myself in bed with a gorgeous but otherwise dull woman who had all the physical attributes commonly desired by a man, I would not be able to perform. So maybe there _was_ something wrong with me—something missing from my essential makeup.

My sister Alice, probably my closest friend, took that moment to interrupt my musing. "Edward, have you heard about the new girl—Isabella Swan?"

Ah yes, the latest subject of gossip at Forks High, the police chief's daughter who had just moved here to live with him. "How could I have avoided it?" I responded cynically; another blushing flower joining the student body – how wonderful.

"She's in my English class," Alice noted. "She seems really, really shy. She's pretty though. She calls herself 'Bella.'" I could only hope this wasn't yet another female I would have to discourage, but then, it wasn't all that likely we would have a class together.

"She's sitting way over there." Alice tilted her head toward the other end of the cafeteria. "Oh my God, she's sitting with Jessica Stanley. Poor Bella!"

My eyes reflexively traveled in the direction Alice had indicated. Bella was too far across the room for me to get a really good look at her. I agreed with Alice though—she did appear to be pretty. But the distance didn't really allow for anything more than a vague impression. I understood Alice's expression of pity as well. Jessica Stanley was among the most empty-headed, least sympathetic creatures in this school. If Bella Swan was happy in her company, I would certainly have no interest in her—not that I would anyway.

Lunch was about over, so we deposited our trays and headed off to our respective classes. I sat down at the desk I thankfully didn't have to share and prepared myself for another round of tedium in biology. This class truly irritated me, as I was so far ahead of the elementary material being taught it was painfully dull.

A moment later I noticed a female figure passing up the aisle towards the front of the room. I chuckled silently as she caught her foot on something and almost lost her balance. But the amusement died when my gaze lifted to her body. As she approached the teacher's desk and started quietly speaking with Mr. Banner, my eyes raked her form. She wore a pair of tight low-rise jeans and a fitted T-shirt that she somehow made look completely feminine. She was slim but had ample curves in all the right places. Mr. Banner pointed to the chair next to me, and the girl looked in my direction. I felt a sharp intake of breath. It was Bella Swan, and she was far more than pretty. She was beautiful—exquisite. She had luxurious dark brown hair, long and thick. Her eyes were deep brown too, and so big and expressive a person could get lost in them. She had a heart shaped face and full pink lips. It felt like something pierced my chest when I looked at her.

My mind grasped all this in a moment, and my body involuntarily started reacting at the same time. For the first time in my life, I was instantly and fully aroused by the mere glimpse of a woman. I couldn't believe it. It was intolerable—unacceptable—and utterly humiliating. I simply couldn't feel this way. But here I was, sitting in class suddenly finding myself with a raging erection. I moved my chair closer to the desk in terror that someone would notice, my hands convulsively gripping the edge of the wood. Apparently I was unable to smooth the stunned and horrified expression from my face before Bella sat down next to me, because whatever word of polite greeting she was about to say died on her lips, and she looked quickly away. She flipped her hair over her shoulder to give herself something to hide behind. She must have thought I was deranged. I felt like I was.

The look of apprehension in her eyes as she sat down had simply added to her appeal. She carried herself with an alluring sense of vulnerability. It ignited some primitive yet indefinable response deep within me. Her delicious scent also called to me—she smelled like ripe strawberries. It intoxicated my senses. The blood pulsed in my groin and I bit my lip to prevent myself from groaning aloud. This was ridiculous! How could this nothing, this woman-child, affect me so much?

I wanted to push my chair back from the desk so I could look at her surreptitiously, but I was afraid doing so might expose my…lack of control. There was no way I could study her to my satisfaction sitting right next to her—it would be far too obvious. Eventually I grabbed a binder and strategically positioned it in my lap, allowing me to hide my condition as I pushed my chair away from the desk. I could then at least drink in certain parts of her anatomy without notice.

Her chestnut hair was long—almost to her waist. It looked thick and silky and I yearned to touch it, longed to grab a fistful of it to position her head just so. Her fingers were delicate, and I couldn't help imagining what they would feel like wrapped around a certain part of my now unpredictable anatomy. I bit my bottom lip again, practically drawing blood this time. The skin of her arms looked pale and soft and so womanly. From my current vantage point, I could see the full curve of one breast, straining against the fabric of her T-shirt. I closed my eyes and visualized the sensitive pink nipple that would adorn the peak, my tongue persuading it to come to full life in my adoring mouth. My eyes traveled down to her slim waist, and I imagined my hands grasping her to me, sliding down to her perfect rear, and pressing her into my erection. I had to catch myself before my breathing became labored. I glanced quickly around the room to see if anyone noticed my discomposure.

Now that I had memorized what I could see of her, my mind took a darker path. What would it take, I wondered, to get Isabella Swan to be alone with me? Could I use those good looks I so often disdained to lure her away? It wasn't rape that I was thinking of—that held no appeal for me whatsoever. But thoughts of…seduction—yes, seduction, that was it—filled my mind. Not taking her against her will, but bending her to my will. I visualized myself holding her wrists above her head in one hand, while my other hand and my mouth elicited involuntary moans and gasps of pleasure, her body helplessly writhing under mine—all intellect and reason lost in sensation. I would fill her completely, and she would scream my name at her ecstatic release. My groin pulsed and I shifted uncomfortably in my chair.

I suddenly felt like a monster. I was insane. That was the only explanation. I had somehow, and for no apparent reason, simply gone insane in the last forty-five minutes. I would undoubtedly need to be committed. How had I gone from an almost asexual creature to a raving fiend in one afternoon? Class was almost over— _thank you God_. I hadn't heard a single word that was said—not that it really mattered. I had to get out of here. I had to get away from Isabella Swan. She flipped her hair off of her shoulder and her luscious scent hit me again. Was she taunting me? My flagging erection stood at full mast again.

I think my internal groan may not have been completely silent that time, because Bella darted a quick glance back at me. I studied the notebook in my lap as if the meaning of life had suddenly been revealed there. The bell finally rang and I gave silent praise. I waited a minute for everyone to leave, but I still had to hold my book in front of me as I left the room. I was in the depths of mortification.

I couldn't face another hour of boredom. I knew that if I had to sit through another tiresome class my fantasies would return full force. I was already aching…down there. I didn't think I could take anymore. I opted to go sit in my car until the end of school, waiting for my siblings while listening to some soothing music. I could always charm an excused absence out of Mrs. Cope, the school administrator. It was the only time I really valued my so called good looks.

I vowed I would not think about Bella Swan and I didn't. Instead, I thought about my reaction to Bella Swan—not the same thing at all. What in the hell was it about this woman—this girl, really—that had me so unnerved? Truth be told, I had seen other women at least as good looking as she without having anything like the same reaction—without having any reaction whatsoever, in fact. So how was it I had turned into a sex maniac sitting next to her for one hour? It undermined every view I held of myself. I was…confounded.

I forced myself to relax and listen to the strains of the orchestra on the CD that was playing. I tried to pick out the sounds of the individual instruments. I was able to make myself settle down finally.

I was startled when my car doors opened. It was just my siblings. School was over for the day—thank God. They didn't seem to notice my tension, but they were surprised when I drove to the hospital. I told them to take the car and go home without me as I wanted to speak with Carlisle. They were perplexed but fortunately, didn't ask any questions.

I realize that it would have been odd for an average teenager to want to speak with his father about what had happened today. But Carlisle was not your normal father. For one thing, he was a doctor. More importantly, he was young—only thirty-three. But my parents were so loving and so compassionate that they had had no trouble in adopting children, especially older children that were often left by the wayside. In some sense, Carlisle was more like an experienced, understanding and mature older brother to me. So I didn't feel the same hesitation in seeking…clarification to alleviate my confusion as any normal teenager would have, although I was not without trepidation.

After being waived in by the receptionist, I stood in Carlisle's office waiting for him to answer his page. I suddenly wondered if this was a wise idea. What exactly was I supposed to say: _I saw a girl and got a hard on today?_ There was nothing abnormal about that. So what was I doing here?

Carlisle walked into his office and gave me a quick hug, a smile lighting his face. "I'm surprised to see you here, Edward. What can I do for you?"

"I, um, I, wanted to talk to you," I stuttered.

Carlisle sat behind his desk, in full doctor mode. He was suddenly serious. "All right. What can I do for you?"

"This is really embarrassing," I started. "I'm not even sure why I'm here, except it was an entirely new experience for me. And I'm…puzzled."

"Edward, you and I can talk about anything—you know that." Carlisle was utterly sincere. "Please explain."

"Well, there was this new girl at school today, and I got…aroused," I admitted shamefully.

"And the problem is?" Carlisle prompted. He was trying to tell me there was nothing unusual about the situation.

"My reaction wasn't normal. I'm afraid it wasn't…healthy," I admitted.

"What do you mean?" He was more concerned now.

"This is so humiliating." I stopped for a moment while Carlisle waited patiently, understanding etched in his features. "I wanted to lure her from the classroom and…take her. I couldn't think about anything else. I didn't care how she felt—I just wanted her—I just wanted to satisfy myself on her. I felt like a beast."

"Well…" was all Carlisle said for a moment. "I'm still not sure that's anything but normal for a teenage boy. You're seventeen now, Edward, and the hormones are kicking in full force." He stopped and considered for a moment. "You're not talking about anything violent here, are you?"

"No. Nothing like that," I admitted. "It was more like I simply didn't care about her feelings. I just wanted to have her—but I wanted to give her pleasure too. And I certainly didn't want to hurt her." I stopped and dragged a hand through my hair. "Am I going insane? I've never felt anything like this before. It's so…unsettling," I finished lamely. My voice sounded strange to my own ears.

"As long as you have no thoughts of force or violence, I can't see that your reaction is any different from any other teenager," Carlisle stated. "I know you don't like to think of yourself as just any teenager, but physiologically, that's what you are. I understand that mentally and intellectually you are far beyond the average seventeen-year-old. It appears that your physical self is now catching up to the rest. And honestly, I'm relieved."

"So it's normal, for me to…think these things? Because Carlisle, there was nothing…tender about the fantasies going through my mind," I admitted. "My desires were…untamed…domineering even. That's wrong, isn't it?"

"The feelings you are expressing to me—the kind of fantasies you are talking about—are, I believe, relatively normal. I think if you spoke with this girl and came to like her, your fantasies would change. You need to see her as a person, not an object of desire. Then you would come to care about her feelings. You would want her to want you in the same way. So," Carlisle continued reasonably, "get to know her. Talk to her—find out what she's like—see if you like her for more than her appearance. If you do, and she reciprocates, then I wish you joy. And I will be here to help all that I can."

"And you may need some help, Edward," Carlisle admitted. "I don't ever recall you trying to win someone's affection before. You will need to be patient and selfless—qualities you have not exhibited in abundance up until now. And of course, you need to be a gentleman. I don't care what century it is—women of all ages always appreciate gentlemanly behavior. Well, there's not much happening here—shall we go home now?"

I nodded in response to more than just his last question. Carlisle was right, as usual. I would have to get to know Bella Swan. For some reason, I found the concept terrifying.


	2. Chapter 2

I stood at my locker after school, putting away the text books I never needed. I turned to my right and saw Bella Swan walking down the hallway with Jessica Stanley. Bella was wearing a tight white shirt that hugged all her glorious curves and a plaid skirt. The shortness of the skirt was accentuated by her white over-the-knee socks. She looked so damn sexy as she moved down the hallway, hips swaying seductively. As she passed she gave me an innocently flirtatious look.

Bella stopped at her locker and Jessica strode away. I saw an opportunity and grabbed it without thinking. I walked towards her and leaned against the locker next to hers. When she closed the door, her eyes met mine. Her luscious lips formed a perfect little _O_ that drove me mad.

"Bella," I said softly, leaning nonchalantly against the locker.

"Hi Edward," she said in a sultry voice. _When did she learn my name?_ She smiled shyly at me.

"I was wondering if you would like to take a walk with me, Bella," I asked as I ran one finger down her arm, giving her my sexiest grin.

"Al-all right, Edward," she responded with a tentative smile.

I put my arm around her waist and led her out of the building. I kept up a steady stream of casual conversation as I headed in the direction of the woods by the parking lot. Bella seemed a little nervous.

"Why are we going here?" she asked in an anxious voice.

"It's really pretty in here, Bella. And I thought you might want to see some of the local flora," I cleverly added.

She was so trusting. She walked quietly beside me as we entered the woods and continued a little way under the canopy of the trees. I turned to face Bella and put my hands on her hips. She looked at me, more wide-eyed than usual.

"Isn't it pretty here, with the sunlight filtering through the trees?" I asked disingenuously, while my eyes raked her body.

"Yes, it's beautiful," Bella acknowledged nervously, looking around a bit. Her hands were on my arms, and she made a half-hearted effort to disengage my hold on her.

"No, you're beautiful, Bella," I said in a low voice, pulling her closer to me.

"Edward," she breathed. "Why are you doing this?"

"I've never felt this way before. I've wanted you from the first moment I saw you," I said, my voice husky. She looked at me with surprise.

My lips found hers and I kissed her gently. "Bella," I whispered against her mouth. I kept my kisses slow and tender, softly nibbling and sucking in turn on her exquisite lips. When I felt, rather than heard her small moan, I exerted sufficient pressure to open her mouth and my tongue found hers. My kisses became more insistent, and I pulled Bella's body even closer to mine, clutching her to me.

When my lips moved to her neck, Bella protested, "Edward, we shouldn't be doing this."

"Shhh, darling," I whispered in her ear as I nibbled on the lobe. A shiver went through her, and my left hand, positioned on the small of her back, inched lower to softly grip her delectable ass. My other hand moved upward to cup her breast, and my thumb swept across its peak, raising her nipple.

"Oh, Edward, what are you doing?" Bella gasped in surprise.

My lips returned to her face, before I once again plundered her mouth with my tongue. I groaned in pleasure, and she leaned closer to me. I continued persuading her with my tongue, while my hands moved feverishly along her alluring curves. Her closed eyes and labored breathing suggested her capitulation, so I risked the next step. Ever the gentleman, I disengaged just long enough to remove my coat and lay it on the ground. Placing one hand under her lovely firm ass and the other on her upper back, I held her close to me while I lowered us on top of my coat.

Bella protested a little then, squirming against me and inadvertently rubbing her leg against my erection. "Edward, we can't," she objected with a sexy pout, pushing ineffectually against my chest. _Oh, yes we can._

I moved her hands from my chest and held them on either side of her head, intertwining my fingers with hers. I continued to kiss her ruthlessly and after eliciting a small moan, I pushed her legs apart with my knee and settled between them, pressing my arousal into her center. When I sensed her total surrender, I began to unbutton her blouse. My lips moved to her neck, then lower. "Bella," I whispered, "I need you."

My tongue slipped under the cup of her bra and flicked across one sweet nipple. Bella moaned and arched against me, sending more delicious sensations through my groin. I reached behind her back and unclasped her bra in one adept motion, then returned to her chest to slide the irksome garment out of the way. Her breasts were just as perfect as I had imagined – milky white orbs that filled my eager hands, her nipples jutting temptingly out from delicate pink circles. I fondled and squeezed her breasts roughly for a minute and then took my time rolling each swollen tip between my thumb and forefinger. Bella groaned in pleasure, but I wasn't done. I plumped one breast in my hand, forcing the nipple upward to allow my tongue increased access to its extended peak. I lapped in lazy circles before I alternated sucking and nibbling, eliciting louder and more desperate cries from Bella. Her head began to thrash back and forth, and she seemed delirious with pleasure.

Her hips bucked gently against me, and I took that as a sign to move my attention lower. My mouth slid to attend to her other breast, and my free hand slipped to her inner thighs, stroking the silky skin with finger light touches. After teasing her in this way for a few minutes, Bella panted my name. "Edward… Please, Edward," she whispered.

My hand shifted to her abdomen, lingered a moment, and then edged lower, my fingers slipping inside the band of her adorable white lace panties. I impatiently pushed them down her legs, managing to remove one leg completely before leaving them wrapped around her other ankle. I couldn't miss the wetness that had soaked through the fabric, and it elicited a loud groan from me. My fingers started to explore the soft folds of flesh between Bella's legs and she whimpered loudly. She was so warm and so deliciously wet. I slipped a finger inside her and Bella's hips pushed forward again. I added a second finger as my thumb began rubbing circles around her clit. "Edward," Bella gasped as she instinctively spread her legs wider for me. "I don't know what's happening to me."

 _That's the general idea_ , I thought with satisfaction as I raised myself up. I unbuttoned my shirt to make sure it wouldn't get in the way, but didn't bother taking it off. My belt came next, and then I lowered my jeans and boxers to my knees, sighing in relief as I freed myself from the uncomfortable constraint. When Bella saw the size of my arousal, she gasped and then bit her finger in the cutest way. I positioned myself over her, aligning myself for entrance. I sheathed myself inside her in one bold stroke, and once again began feasting on her mouth, smothering her moans with my tongue. As I found my rhythm, Bella's hips rose to meet mine. Her hands clutched at my arms, and she wrapped her legs around me.

"Edward," Bella gasped, "you feel so good. You're driving me crazy."

I nuzzled her neck and began thrusting deeper, faster. She was unbelievably tight, and each stroke felt better than the one before. "Edward! Don't stop! Please don't stop!" Bella screamed. "Oh my God, Edward, you're so incredible!" she cried, spurring me on.

I felt her involuntary shudders as her walls convulsed around my manhood. My swollen organ throbbed in release, and I groaned loudly as my seed surged inside her, claiming my territory. I collapsed on top of Bella, and she sobbed my name as the tremors running through her body ebbed. I couldn't help smirking at my unbelievable prowess.

Bella touched my face, and I heard her sigh with satisfaction. "Edward, you were . . . magnificent," she whispered. "Can we do this again tomorrow, please?" she begged.

"We'll see, Bella," I responded noncommittally.

As I woke up, I found my hips still gently undulating. There was a cold, damp spot under my belly. I groaned aloud and rolled over. I knew it was normal, but things like this just didn't happen to me. Damn, could this get any more humiliating?

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	3. Chapter 3

It was Friday. I decided to stay home from school. I told Esme about my decision, and she asked if I was feeling all right.

"Yes, I'm just tired – I didn't sleep well," I responded evasively.

"You do look a little out of sorts," she admitted. "Do you want to go see your father? I'll be out most of the day."

"Uh, no. I'll just go back to bed for a while." I made a hasty exit. I reaped the advantages of a perfect grade point average—a free pass to skip school anytime, no questions asked.

I returned to my room, and my siblings left without me. I was honest with myself—it was simple fear that kept me out of school. My reaction yesterday was bad enough, but after last night…I could no longer control my own body—awake or asleep.

As I sat on the sofa in my bedroom, I tried to analyze the situation. I was a rational person; logic dictated that this problem should be just as solvable as any other. So what was it about Bella Swan that had me so completely unnerved?

I thought about the way she looked. She was truly lovely, no doubt, but that hadn't meant anything in the past. So I sought to determine what it was in particular about her that made me want to act like a complete caveman, fighting to restrain myself from dragging her off and ravishing her. I tried to visualize every detail about her, from the first moment she turned towards my desk until she sat down next to me. But other than her alabaster skin, her long, silky, brown hair, her full pink lips, her delectable curves… Hell, this wasn't doing any good at all. I was just getting hard again.

I really did need to talk to her. I was pretty certain that once we had a conversation, my attraction to her would wane. That had always happened in the past, although admittedly, I had never felt this intense of a reaction before. Okay, I had never felt anything at all like this before. Maybe I should go to school this afternoon and see if I could speak with her?

No, that wouldn't do. I needed a game plan. I needed to make sure I wouldn't lose control around her again. If that happened, and she realized it, I'd have to go crawl under a rock somewhere. I could just imagine explaining _that_ to Carlisle. _Well, Bella Swan noticed I had a massive erection while I was talking to her, so I'm just going to have to change schools…_

Unfortunately, I could only think of one method of…preparing myself to see her again, not to mention avoiding the whole nocturnal emission problem. I was just going to have to be more…pro-active in relieving my…tension. I could do that.

I mean, in spite of the fact that I hadn't felt the need to indulge in that sort of behavior with any regularity in the past, that really _was_ perfectly normal and, more importantly, didn't leave any telltale signs for your mother. That thought reminded me—I'd have to wash my sheets after Esme left. In the meantime, since I hadn't showered yet today, perhaps I'd get in some…practice.

From that moment on, I put the "Bella Swan Resistance Plan" into effect with a vengeance. I spent more time in my bathroom that weekend than I had in the last month combined. If masturbation really did cause blindness, I was going to need a seeing-eye dog by the end of the week. Other than the fact that I was getting rather sore though, I was pleased that I had a viable plan. As usual, I was sure I was right—this would work.

I got up early Monday morning so I could…take additional precautions. I took my time in the shower, feeling especially thankful that my room was the only occupied one on this floor of the house. Also, I was now careful to turn up the music in my room to assist in camouflaging my activities. As I further refined the seduction fantasy, my expressions of…delight were getting more audible.

I braced myself with one hand against the wall before soaping myself up. I winced a little at the tenderness—excessive self-abuse really did take a toll. But I was willing to make any sacrifice to overcome this challenge.

Let's see—what intriguing variations could I come up with today? It amazed me how the smallest alterations could add so much to the experience. Sometimes I just changed the color of her underwear from virginal white to red or black or my most recent favorite, blue. At other times Bella would resist my advances just a bit more energetically, requiring me to restrain her hands while I worked magic with my mouth. But she would inevitably capitulate all the more enthusiastically at the proper moment, making my victory just that much sweeter.

This morning I went with the newest version of the story where I entirely removed Bella's clothing, making her seem all the more vulnerable. She just got so flustered when she came to the realization that she was completely naked while I was still fully dressed. I dragged that part of the fantasy out this time, letting my eyes roam up and down her body, lingering on her supple breasts, her adorable navel, the exquisite curve of her hips, the mound of her sex, leisurely enjoying her exposure while she blushed furiously. It added just the right touch of naughtiness, I thought.

Bella was getting disconcerted by my frank perusal. _I was fully hard now, casually stroking myself._ My hand began to slowly follow the path my eyes had taken, lightly trailing from one adorable nipple to the other, pausing to give each a teasing pinch. _I was breathing harder as I increased the pace of my stroking._ As my hand reached the heat of her center, I ran my fingers through her wetness, watching the expressions of pleasure flow across her face. _I could feel the pressure building inside me, and my strokes became more insistent._ I shifted enough of my clothing to eliminate any interference and positioned myself over Bella. _I was close now and needed to lean against the shower wall for support._ I entered her and began thrusting rhythmically, deepening our connection with each lunge. _I stroked my shaft, keeping time with the images in my mind._ It didn't take long before we both reached our peak, Bella moaning my name aloud. _A long, loud groan escaped me as my muscles clenched, and I shuddered in release._ I took a minute to recover before finishing my shower and drying off so I could dress. _Sorry Bella, had to be a quickie this morning._

Dressing presented a new problem. I don't believe that I had ever once in my entire life debated which clothing to wear to school. But what sort of pants I should wear now became something of a dilemma. Do I opt for my tightest jeans, hoping to discourage…expansion? That could be painful. Or should I wear looser slacks and risk, to use one of Emmett's more whimsical expressions, pitching a tent? There was no clear answer, so I opted for the middle ground and chose a pair of not too tight black jeans. Perhaps the heavy fabric would also provide some…deterrence. This was more complicated than I thought it would be.

As I went downstairs, I spotted Carlisle heading towards the door. He gave me a quick wave, but before he could leave Esme called after him.

"Carlisle, I just wanted you to know I'm calling a plumber. We keep running out of hot water, so I think we may need a new tank," she informed him.

He murmured his acquiescence before leaving as I slunk into the kitchen to grab breakfast. Was she trying to tell me something?

My siblings and I arrived at school in good time. I couldn't help looking around the grounds to see if I could spot Bella. The only thing I knew about her schedule was that she had English with Alice. Of course, I could just ask Bella myself later, because I _would_ be talking to her today.

Our paths didn't cross until lunch time. Today, Bella was situated more in the middle of the room. She appeared to be firmly ensconced at the "cool" table, together with those idiots Mike Newton and Tyler Crowley, not to mention Jessica and worst of all, Lauren Mallory, who used to stare at me with so much longing in her eyes that at one time I thought she might actually start drooling. I wished I could overhear what was being said, because even from this distance the guys appeared to be fawning over Bella. It made me sick to think that either of them could stand a chance with her. I was startled by that thought, but before I could investigate it further, Rosalie interrupted.

"Who are you staring at, Edward?" she asked in a rather scathing voice.

My head jerked around, and I could feel my face coloring. That was enough to make the rest of my siblings take interest. Alice was kinder.

"What's up, Edward?"

_What a sorry expression_. "Nothing. May I just look around the lunch room without being interrogated?" I responded in a surly voice.

They backed off, but looked astonished. Jeez, could a guy not keep any secrets from his family?

I pushed my lunch tray away. I really wasn't hungry. I had been so confident this morning about talking to Bella, but it had seemed a lot easier before I actually saw her. Was every guy here after her? I wouldn't be surprised. I could just imagine the kind of juvenile fantasies they would be having about her. Okay, maybe I would have to try harder than I initially thought, but still, I was a much better catch than any other guy in school.

Wait, what am I talking about? Why am I even thinking this way? I had to remind myself not to deviate from the plan. Talk to Bella and poof, like magic, the bubble would burst. End of fascination—end of story. Peace of mind is restored and my life goes back to normal.

I headed off for biology. I nervously watched the door while I sat in my seat, waiting for Bella to enter the room. Newton escorted her into class and had the nerve to hang around our table talking to her until the teacher arrived. My resentment of him was growing. After he wandered away, I turned to Bella and spoke to her for the first time.

"Hello. My name is Edward Cullen. I wanted to introduce myself, since we didn't have a chance to speak last week." _Because I was too busy fucking you in my head…_

She turned to me with a tentative smile and said, "Hi, I'm Bella Swan."

Her voice really was sultry – just like my fantasies. I felt a dangerous stirring in my loins. I was an idiot. Until that very moment, it hadn't occurred to my clouded mind that by beating off to Bella Swan fantasies several times a day, all I was doing was adding fuel to the fire.


	4. Chapter 4

At that moment, Mr. Banner started announcing the lab for the day. I breathed a sigh of relief and paid more attention to his words than I ever had before, desperate for the distraction. Only when he finished and started handing out materials did I realize that Bella and I would be working pretty much on our own for the hour.

I had to talk myself down from the ledge. _Relax Edward. Just stay casual. It's no big deal. Do NOT think about her breasts…_

I calmed down after a moment, and Bella and I began passing slides back and forth to view under the microscope. I encouraged her to look first, so I could study her unaware. She really was beautiful—her skin was so pale and clear. Her lips were exquisite—I could imagine so many things I wanted her to do with those lips. When she disengaged and shifted the microscope in my direction, I was startled out of my reverie. Bella gave me an uncertain smile.

As I handed her the second slide, my hand touched hers and the jolt of electricity at the contact surprised both of us. Bella actually jumped a little bit and then blushed. And that blush reminded me of when we were in the shower this morning. I mean, of my fantasy of her in the shower that morning. That was a bad thing—little Eddie started reacting. _Oh my God, I just nicknamed my penis. My brain is turning to mush…_

"Is everything all right, Edward?" I heard Bella ask sweetly.

"Sorry. I just got distracted for a moment there." I gave her a reassuring grin and she blushed again. _Could she be any more beautiful when she blushes? Would she turn that lovely shade of pink when she comes? Should I just take her out in the woods right now and find out?_

We finished the lab quickly. Bella was intelligent, no question. She knew the subject matter as well as I did. Damn it, that wasn't supposed to happen. Strike one for the Bella Swan Resistance Plan.

It was getting awkward just sitting there. I struggled to find a subject matter to converse about. You'd think I had never spoken to a girl before. Finally, inspiration struck.

"So Bella, I understand you're new to Forks. What do you think of the place?" _Lame Edward. And DO keep your eyes on her face for God's sake._

She took a quick glance around the room and then leaned towards me, whispering conspiratorially, "I hate it. How about you?"

I couldn't help chuckling at her response, but then she did that flippy thing with her adorable ponytail and her scent hit me. Little Eddie roared to life, threatening to become Eddie Monster. _Oh no—please not that._

Bella was still waiting for an answer. My brain re-engaged. "It's not my favorite place on earth—let's just leave it at that." _Although I am starting to like it a whole lot more…_

She leaned towards me again, closer this time, and her V-neck T-shirt gaped a bit. I caught a glimpse of a blue lace bra, cradling her luscious full breasts. The monster roared in pleasure. _Dear God, why did it have to be blue?_ I think a small whimper may have escaped me. I tried desperately to focus on what Bella was saying. _Concentrate on the words coming out of her mouth, Edward, not what you'd like to do with her mouth…_

"Please don't tell anyone I said that. It wouldn't be good if word got around that the police chief's daughter couldn't stand the place," she added, concern showing in her eyes.

 _So trusting – she probably would follow you into the woods_ , the monster hinted with glee.

"Don't worry, Bella," I said with a smile. "May I ask why, though?" _Perhaps I can make Forks a more…desirable place for you, hmm?_

She smiled again, looking even more alluring. My heart skipped a beat.

"Well, first and foremost, I miss the sun. No one would ever suspect I'm a sun worshipper, since I'm so pale, but it's true."

My eyes flicked down to her ivory neck, then to her arms. I swallowed nervously, the monster reminding me about her even whiter breasts. _Please don't draw my attention to your skin again…_

"And?" I managed to croak.

"I'm in desperate need of a good book store," she admitted with chagrin.

 _I'm in desperate need of something else…_ "What do you like to read?" I inquired with genuine interest.

"I love the classics, and I suppose I won't rest until I read every book in that genre. But I have a lot of different interests; it varies from time to time."

_There are a couple of things I'd like to interest you in…_

As we continued to converse, the BSR Plan went further down the tubes. Intelligent, funny, articulate, well read—the rational part of my brain started ticking off all the qualities she wasn't supposed to have. Bella Swan was…fascinating. The monster found her even more desirable, inducing me to lower my gaze to her fabulous body. _Please tell me she did not just catch me looking at her chest again?_

Mr. Banner finally did something right and called the class to attention before I could break out in a sweat. I let my mind wander. I kept sneaking glances at Bella—every part of Bella. Once or twice she looked in my direction—did she like me too? It surprised me how much I wanted her to reciprocate my feelings. But surely that just related to the fact that I wanted to have sex with her, didn't it? Fortunately, I finally felt like I was taming the monster, although admittedly I couldn't wait to get back to my bathroom. The sight of that lacy blue bra had almost done me in…

At dismissal, Newton ran over to escort Bella to her next class, giving me a dirty look in the process. The monster snarled at him. What a putz. She was so far out of his league it wasn't even funny. I doubted he would understand half of what she said. Bella couldn't really like him, could she? The thought of him seeing her in that blue bra enraged me. That was a new experience for me too. Why would I feel that way?

When we arrived home from school, I went to my room. I had always spent a lot of time alone, so the fact that I hardly left it anymore didn't raise any comment. I locked my door and sat on the sofa, reflecting on the day.

I didn't really understand everything I was feeling, but I was pretty sure I had a crush on Bella Swan. She was…perfect. As I sat on the sofa, I couldn't help closing my eyes and imagining her sitting on top of me, straddling my legs. I wanted to see that sexy blue bra again. She smiled shyly at me and lifted her T-shirt over her head. It was the prettiest shade of sapphire, and her pearly white skin seemed to glow underneath the lace. I wanted her to continue undressing for me—to offer herself to me. She teasingly slipped first one strap and then the other down and off of her shoulders before leaning towards me, her arms pushing on the sides of her breasts until they almost spilled over the cups of her bra. I licked my lips in anticipation, and my breathing quickened. Her hands moved to her back to unclasp her bra, her breasts jutting temptingly towards my face as she arched forward. She quickly brought her arms to her sides again, so her bra was hanging on by a prayer. She shimmied a bit and gravity did the rest, exposing her fabulous breasts to my hungry eyes. I audibly groaned.

Bella then did the most amazing thing. She lifted her hands behind her head and arched her back, letting my eyes feast unobstructed upon her glorious body. She tore out her ponytail holder and fluffed her hair forward. It was the sexiest thing I'd ever seen…er, imagined. After a moment, she lowered her hands, dragging them along her sides before letting them return upward, caressing her abdomen. The look in her eyes told me how fervently she wished it was my hands skimming along her velvet skin. She cupped a full breast in each hand and looked at me imploringly, desperate for me to suckle her. I couldn't wait any more. From behind my closed eyes I tried to pretend it was Bella unbuttoning my shirt and pushing it out of the way. I imagined her clever fingers unclasping the button on my jeans and slowly drawing the zipper down. It was her hand that reached in and freed my throbbing cock from the uncomfortable clutches of my pants and began slowly stroking its length, using the moisture that had seeped from the tip to ease the friction.

Bella raised herself up long enough to divest herself of the rest of her clothing. Her body was perfection in my mind, and she stood still for a moment allowing me to admire her. With the tension building inside of me, she returned to straddle me once again, gracefully aligning herself before taking me inside her, inching her way down my shaft. I cried out in pleasure.

I watched in fevered delight as she rode me—her lovely breasts bouncing as she pumped my cock inside her heated body. Bella obviously loved this position—she was coming fast. As I visualized her reaching her peak, she threw her head back, sending forth a loud, ecstatic moan. My breath caught and a moment later, my release spilled across my chest as I emitted animalistic sounds of pleasure. I took a few moments to calm down before heading to the bathroom to clean myself up. I couldn't help but notice the goofy grin on my face when I looked in the mirror. Without a doubt, that was the best sex I'd ever had. I was getting really good at this.

I spent some time with my family after dinner, but pleaded fatigue to go upstairs early. The fact is I couldn't wait for a repeat performance. I used lotion this time to enhance the experience and afterwards slept like the dead.

It had snowed during the night. Everyone seemed to be taking extra care driving into the school parking lot. I saw Bella immediately and felt the inevitable stirring of desire. She was standing behind an old red truck looking down at something. Did she really drive that hideous thing? I parked a few spaces down and decided to go have a word with her. The BSR plan was a thing of the past and perhaps constituted the stupidest idea I'd ever had.

As I approached Bella from behind, my attention was drawn to a blue van skidding in her direction. She hadn't noticed it yet. As her head tipped up and a sound of fear escaped her, I grabbed her and pulled her backwards towards the side of her truck. Our momentum was too much to prevent our falling, and Bella landed on top of me as my breath was expelled in a loud whoosh.

After a moment, I tried to assess the damage. "Are you okay?" I anxiously asked.

"Yes, I think so, Edward," she responded breathlessly.

Someone yelled at us to stay still. That was when I became aware of the position I was in. My back was wedged up against one of the tires on Bella's truck. One arm was wrapped around Bella's delicate waist, my hand resting right above the swell of her hip. My other arm was wrapped higher around her body, and my left hand was firmly gripping Bella's right breast. Lying on my upper left arm, I was unable to move that hand, although I tried to relax my fingers. _Oh my God, was that her nipple getting erect under my palm while we lay on the cold pavement?_ She was lying between my legs with her lovely firm ass wedged against my groin. The school nurse had arrived and, unaware of the details of the situation, was cautioning us in a loud voice not to move. _Not this—anything but this._

The situation was beyond my worst nightmare. I was trapped in an intimate embrace with the woman I had been fantasizing about almost non-stop for the last five days. The monster roared in elation—I became fully erect, and even if Bella were blind, deaf and dumb as a post she couldn't have missed the growing bulge pulsing under her backside.

Bella lifted her head to speak to the nurse and inadvertently shifted against me. A small sound of distress escaped me, drawing her attention.

"Edward, all you all right?" she asked again. Her body shivered with the cold, vibrating against mine, and I choked back the responding sob of need that threatened to emerge.

"I think Bella's more in danger from hypothermia than she is from any injury," I announced to the nurse, who ran off to get a blanket. I removed my right arm from around Bella's waist and carefully shifted her away from me, hoping no one else would notice my condition. Not that it mattered—word would be around school like wildfire as soon as Bella told Jessica or one of her other friends. They would love that—the arrogant and untouchable Edward Cullen, who had snubbed every female in school—unable to control himself—becoming visibly aroused just by being close to a girl.

When the EMS personnel arrived, I told them that Bella had hit her head when we landed. It was barely true—her head hit my arm—but I was really hoping it would confuse her enough to question her own senses. I played the "Dr. Cullen's son" card and rode in the front of the ambulance, needing to get away from the awful situation as fast as I could. As I replayed the scene again and again in my head on the way to the hospital, the feelings of mortification grew. By tomorrow, I was sure I would be a laughing stock at Forks High. Everyone would know my secret.


	5. Chapter 5

At the hospital, I had to keep reassuring Carlisle that I was okay. He knew something was wrong with me, but I was unable to confide in him. It was just too humiliating. I mean, what could I say? _Please come home now so we can start packing up the house—we're all going to have to move to an obscure town in the Klondike?_ Eventually, he gave me his car keys so I could drive home, saying he would get a ride with a colleague.

I waited what I thought was a sufficient interval to make my escape from the hospital. My timing could not have been worse. As I walked past the examination rooms, Bella Swan emerged.

I started to walk on by, but I heard her call, "Edward, please wait," in a plaintive voice. I stopped but didn't turn around. She moved to stand in front of me, but I couldn't look up at her.

"I wanted to thank you," Bella said sincerely. "You probably saved my life."

My eyes shot up to hers—this wasn't what I was expecting. I dismissed my actions. "I responded precipitously, Bella. I don't believe the van would have hit you at all. I just…overreacted." I was having trouble looking her in the eyes and was desperate to get away.

She touched my arm and I stepped backwards. Why did she look hurt? She was going to have a real laugh telling the story at school tomorrow. I cringed as I visualized her repeating the lurid details to her lunch crowd.

"I have to go, Bella," I said tersely, walking away. I left the hospital and went straight home, going upstairs to hide in my room. I had to re-think things.

First, I had experienced an unprecedented physical reaction to Bella. My initial idea, and a completely valid one, had been to discover that as a person, she couldn't live up to my expectations. That plan had utterly failed. She was fascinating as well as beautiful. I started to like her. That had been another error. I had now put myself in her power—the power to wound as well as the power to humiliate. That was two mistakes in a row. What was wrong with me? I needed a new plan…

The solution was obvious.

The new and improved Bella Swan Resistance Plan was elegant in its simplicity. Bella Swan simply didn't exist. I would no longer acknowledge her presence. I wouldn't speak with her. She simply wasn't there. Of course, before full implementation of the plan, one last wank couldn't hurt…

As time went on though, it became increasingly clear that resistance was futile.

Yes, I did my best. Other than a curt nod in response to her greeting in Biology the next day, I kept to myself. Bella looked hurt and confused for some reason. I kept waiting for the whispers and hidden laughter in the hallways. The fact that I never actually heard any didn't do anything to dispel my nervousness or my commitment to the plan for that matter.

As I put more effort into ignoring Bella, it seemed that my body reacted to the same degree in the opposite direction. Regardless of how many times I told myself she didn't exist, the monster required regular feeding. Every morning in the shower I satisfied myself to my increasingly elaborate fantasies. Every night I took Bella in my mind. More and more often, the monster couldn't even make it through the day without sustenance. Sometimes I went to my car at lunch time and drove to a secluded road to gratify myself. My obsession grew…

I now had an entire stable of "Bella Swan" fantasies to choose from. Of course, the not-so-innocent schoolgirl seduction scene was still one of my favorites. I had imagined it so often I could no longer even look at anything plaid without getting an erection. But I didn't want to wear it out, so I had developed an entire library of mental erotica to supplement it.

There was Bella, on her hands and knees as I roughly took her from behind, my fingers gripping her lovely ass, keeping her steady for my urgent thrusts. She really loved doing it doggie style. Depending on my mood, I also enjoyed the version where Bella was on top of me, riding me like a rodeo champion. She often had multiple orgasms in that position. I particularly enjoyed Bella, naked and on her knees, sucking me off with those fabulous full lips of hers while I squeezed and fondled her breasts. God that was a good one. The variety was endlessly fascinating.

In the meantime, I continued to pretend that Bella didn't exist. Well, I continued trying anyway. That didn't stop me from being hyper-aware of her in Biology and from eye-fucking her every chance I got. _Oh my God, when did that expression even enter my consciousness? My brain is deteriorating from the level of mush… Soon I'll be a drooling idiot._

As the weeks went by, sleeping also became increasingly difficult for me. Thoughts of Bella made me restless. And lately, I'd been having the worst recurring nightmare. I had driven my Volvo to that isolated road at lunchtime, needing…a moment alone with Bella. We'd be having freaky circus sex in my mind, and I would give myself over completely to the fantasy. As I was coming, hot spunk flying everywhere while I loudly yelled things like "Yes, Bella! Fuck me, Bella!" I would hear a knocking on my partially open car window. I would look up to find Chief Swan staring down at me with a murderous expression on his face. Sometimes I woke up shuddering at that point, but other times I was actually at the police station being fingerprinted before I would return to consciousness, shaken to my very core.

All in all, I was turning into a wreck. My family noticed, of course. I got tired of Carlisle and Esme asking me what was wrong all the time. Sometimes I suspected that Esme knew something though. Eventually, I confided in Alice.

She came to my room one night to talk to me. Luckily, I happened to be between "sessions" with Little Eddie. Alice and I had always been close—if I could open up to anyone, it would be her. It helped that she already seemed to have a pretty good idea of what the problem might be.

"Edward, what's wrong? Why are you so glum all the time?" Alice asked with concern.

"I—I can't talk about it," I replied uncomfortably, unable to look at her.

She hesitated for a moment before asking, "Is it Bella?"

My jaw dropped. "Alice, how do you know these things?" I asked in amazement.

"I've seen the way you look at her in the cafeteria."

"Oh great, so everyone knows I'm besotted. Perfect," I concluded sarcastically.

"No, Edward. It's just me. I know you better than anyone," Alice reassured me. "But what's the problem? Why don't you just ask her out?"

"I can't tell you, Alice. It's just too embarrassing," I admitted shamefully.

"Did she catch you checking out her body?" Alice asked lightly.

"Well, yes, but that's not it."

"Did she notice you staring at her…breasts?" she asked with more concern

"Well, yes, that, too. But that's not it either—it's far worse than that." I was bright red now.

Alice paused a moment. "Oh, I see. When did that happen?"

"After I pulled her away from Tyler's van. You see, she landed right on top of me, and she's just so damn beautiful and her body is so, so… And I was holding her so close. And, well, now you know the worst of it. I can't even bring myself to talk to her. Alice, do you think she told anyone? I mean, have you heard anything at all?"

"No, and I don't think she would," Alice announced with conviction.

"Why not?" I asked with confusion. "I can imagine most of the girls at school being elated to have a story like that to tell."

"Edward, I've gotten to know Bella a little bit just by sitting near her in English. She's a really nice girl. I feel certain she would never tell that to anyone, especially after you just saved her life. I mean, how crappy would that be?" Alice reasoned. "Are you sure she even realized it?"

"Oh yes. I don't believe she could have missed it, lying right on top of me. How would you feel, Alice, if you had been Bella? But not with me, I mean, because that would just be sick. But with some guy you hardly knew?

"Well, it depends on the guy, I suppose," Alice responded. "If it was someone creepy, it would just be gross." She made a disgusted face. "But if it was a nice guy who also happened to be very good looking, and who also just happened to have saved my life like some kind of superhero, I think I'd be pretty flattered. In any case, I certainly wouldn't have spread it around or made fun of the boy who just saved me from getting squished by another car. And neither would Bella. Besides, you know that—you would have heard about it by now. So, just talk to her, Edward."

"I don't know. I've been so rude to her. She probably hates me now."

"Well, you'll never know until you try. You're already miserable—how much worse could it get?"

I nodded thoughtfully as Alice took her leave. It was useful to have a female viewpoint on the situation. Maybe it wasn't as bad as I had thought.

Of course, I had really dug myself in a hole since then by not speaking with her. I wasn't sure I knew how to work my way out of it. Still, maybe I could try.

Every day I would go to school telling myself that today, I would speak with Bella. But I couldn't bring myself to do it. I had waited too long—it had been weeks since I even acknowledged her existence. I had been too big of an idiot. I had embarrassed myself too much. So in class I continued to sit in silence next to Bella. And my fantasies evolved…

Inexplicably, the nature of my longings had changed. What I found myself doing now was making love to Bella. There was no other way to characterize it. In my imaginings, I would be tender and gentle. We took it slow, our clothes leisurely disappearing one piece at a time. Every kiss, every caress, took my breath away. Raw lust had nothing to do with this scenario—it was filled with mutual passion and attentiveness and desire so strong it could hardly be borne. These were the images that were starting to consume me. I was lying on top of Bella, both of us fully clothed. My kisses were slow and tender, but still contained a sense of desperation about them. I was fully aroused, but I didn't care that she knew—I wanted her to understand how much I ached for her. She would wrap her legs around me, showing me her complete willingness to give herself to me. I would press myself into her center, and she would arch against me in need. Sometimes her hands would creep downward and press me closer to her. She wanted me as much as I wanted her. It was…heaven.

It was the quiet, loving moments of this fantasy that sent thrills through me. Every so often I would stop to push her hair away from her face and gaze into her eyes. Her look of desire always affected me so deeply. I would gently kiss her eyelids, her temples, the sides of her face. Her neck became a playground for me. I loved to elicit as many sounds of pleasure from her as I could. Often, that was enough. The vision would end and I would sigh with satisfaction. I was left in total confusion.

I sat in Biology class one day, watching with contempt as Newton once again walked with Bella into the room. He sat on the edge of our desk and started talking to her about some school dance that was coming up. I found myself focusing intently on the conversation. Wait, did he just ask her if she would invite him to a girl's choice dance? The utter audacity…

I was instantly enraged. My fists clenched in my lap as I waited impatiently to hear Bella's response. I exhaled in relief as I heard her reply.

"Sorry, Mike. I'm not going to the dance. I have other plans that night."

He walked away, dejected, and I rejoiced. I heard Bella sigh. Did she seem annoyed by him? What other plans did she have? Was she dating someone? Who could it be? Could I make myself any crazier?

All through class I was lost in agitated thought. I finally identified what I had been feeling. I was jealous of Mike Newton. It was that simple. I didn't want him anywhere near Bella—ever. I desired her for myself, to have all to myself. And not just for a roll in the hay either. That wouldn't explain the feelings of jealousy and possessiveness I was experiencing. It also wouldn't explain why my fantasies about her had changed from fucking her senseless to wanting her for what could only be described as a wedding night. Obviously, I really, really liked her—but was it more than that? I sat there in stunned realization.

Class was ending. Bella was packing up her things. She was leaving.

"Bella," I called. Why was it wonderful just to say her name?

She looked in my direction, surprise written all over her face. She wasn't the only one who was startled. I suddenly realized I had absolutely no idea what I was going to say to her.


	6. Chapter 6

Looking like the proverbial deer caught in headlights, Bella waited for me to say something. _Why had I called her name? Where was my brain? You're thinking with the wrong head again, Edward!_

I said the only thing I could think of: "I'm sorry, Bella."

She looked down before asking softly, "Sorry about what?"

_Sorry for being such a dick, Bella. Or having such a dick. Whichever._

I cleared my throat and added more formally, "I've been very rude, Bella. You've done nothing to deserve that. I apologize."

To my dismay, she looked a little indifferent. "You're under no obligation to be nice to me. We don't have to be friends." With that she sauntered off, leaving me with my mouth hanging open.

Okay, that went…horribly. I suppose it could have been worse—she could have spit at me or something. But clearly, I had made another huge mistake. I ran my fingers through my hair in frustration. I just had to fix this.

I went to my next class in a daze and left it the same way. I wasn't gripped by lust this time—it was fear that dogged my steps today. Fear and lust—they seemed to be about the only feelings I experienced anymore. _Fear and lust come to Forks—_ my life sounded like a cheap soap opera.

I passed Bella's God-awful truck on the way to my car. She was talking to Eric Yorkie. My ears picked up and I slowed my pace, trying not to be too obvious. Christ, he was asking her to the dance too! Eric fucking Yorkie! I didn't even know nerds could dance! Seriously, he made Bill Gates seem like Johnny Depp. Bella couldn't like him, could she? Relief hit me for the second time that day as I realized she was turning him down as well. I also couldn't help but notice that she was being nicer to him than she had been to me, although clearly I was deserving of her contempt.

I was so caught up in my thinking I forgot about my siblings. I started to pull my car out of the space before I realized I was about to leave without them. I turned to look around to see if they were anywhere near so I could avoid having to pull back in and look even more stupid. My eyes hit the rear view mirror, and I realized I was now holding up traffic and, of course, Bella's truck was right behind my Volvo. She'd probably think I did this purposely to annoy her. I was about to pull back into the parking space when I noticed Tyler Crowley waiting in his new car behind Bella's truck. As I deliberated what to do, I saw Tyler exit his car and walk over to Bella's truck, knocking on the window. I quickly lowered my window as well, hoping to overhear him.

 _Unfuckingbelievable!_ Now Tyler, the guy who had almost killed Bella with his van, was asking her to the dance. And like a complete ass I had just given him the perfect opportunity to do so by idling here in my car. I felt like banging my head against the steering wheel. I think I would have if I hadn't heard Tyler yell, "We still have prom," as he walked away from her truck. Apparently, she had refused him as well. I jumped as my car doors opened, signaling the arrival of my siblings. I looked in the rear view mirror one last time to see Bella glaring at me. _Shit._ I hit the gas and bolted out of there.

I was restless that night. Although I had retired to my room early, I couldn't sleep. I suppose it didn't help that this was the first night since meeting Bella that I didn't have the usual toss before going to bed. Strangely, I wasn't in the mood. I was too consumed with how badly I had screwed things up.

I decided to take a drive in my Volvo. It was one of the things I really enjoyed, and it usually managed to relax me. I drove around aimlessly until it got quite late. I still wasn't tired though. Consciously or not, I eventually found myself driving past Chief Swan's house. I slowed but didn't stop. I mean, I didn't stop the first time. The second time, I parked the Volvo a short way from the house, next to the forest adjacent to Bella's home. Without thinking, I got out of my car and walked a short distance into the trees, where I could be sure I was well hidden from any prying eyes but I could still see the house.

For a minute I thought I was dreaming, but when I looked at the upstairs window on the front of the house, there was Bella. She opened the window a bit and moved out of sight. The lights in her room went dark a moment later. I didn't have time to get a good look at her with the tree branches in the way—I only noticed she was wearing something white.

Oh God, if there was just a way to climb in that window and see her. I imagined what that would be like for a moment—being in Bella's room as she slept. I wondered what she would wear to bed. Perhaps just an old T-shirt and a pair of panties. What if it was the blue panties that match that blue bra! Or maybe a tank top and a pair of those really little shorts. She would look so enticing dressed like that. I realized suddenly that my imagination was failing me when it came to what girls wore to sleep in. I'd have to steal Alice's _Victoria's Secret_ catalog when I got home and see what would look best on Bella.

A sudden thought hit me, and I gasped at its audacity. What if Bella slept in the nude? Girls did that sometimes, didn't they? What if, after climbing in her window, I found her naked? The moonlight streaming through her window would provide just enough light for me to drink in the scene before me. Naturally, she would have kicked the covers off of her body as she slept, and I would find her lying on her stomach, her fabulous ass exposed to my feasting eyes. My hands clenched in fierce need to squeeze the flesh of those luscious curves.

Soon though, her position would change. Bella would restlessly roll over onto her back and reveal all of her glorious secrets to me. Her breasts would be bare, vulnerable, hungry for the touch of my mouth, my tongue. Her legs would be parted enough for me to see the mystery of her femininity. And she would say my name in her sleep as she dreamed about me.

My engorged cock was throbbing now, reminding me with every pulse how painful it was getting imprisoned in my jeans. I unzipped my pants and released it, exhaling in relief. Still, there was no way I was going to stand out here in the woods and beat off. That was just too creepy. I would just stroke myself a few times to alleviate the residual effects of my discomfort, but that was it.

Let's see—where was I? Ah yes, Bella was dreaming about me, calling for me. I was pretty sure by that point I would be unable to prevent myself from touching her. I would kneel beside her bed and kiss my sleeping beauty into awareness, drinking in her heavenly scent. Like a movie in my mind, I could see it play out.

Her eyes fly open, and she sits up suddenly in bed. She coyly clutches a corner of the sheet between her breasts—hiding nothing from my eyes—only emphasizing her nakedness. Even that lasts only a moment, before she drops the sheet entirely and puts her arms around my neck, whispering softly, "I was just dreaming about you," as she pulls me on top of her.

I kiss her softly once before whispering her name. My hands, although trembling to take advantage of her nakedness, behave themselves at first. I start with her face, holding it softly as I kiss her features. My lips move to linger on her mouth, my kisses slow and delicate, teasing her full lips with my tongue. I place a line of small sucking kisses across her top lip, which elicits a low moan from Bella. Finally, I let one hand start exploring her body, still avoiding her most intimate places, wanting her need to build slowly.

Bella's response is overwhelming. Her naked body arches against mine, sending a rush of delightful sensations through me. I'm surprised when Bella pushes me away a bit, but then I understand that she wants access to my shirt. I stop, letting her delicate fingers unfasten each button, while my eyes scrutinize her glorious form, her pale skin glowing in the moonlight. I assist her in removing my shirt and her reaction to seeing my exposed chest amplifies my desire. The knowledge that she enjoys looking at me, touching me, is fantastically exciting. And the feel of her flesh against mine is so incredible that I suddenly can tolerate no barrier between us.

I stand up to remove the rest of my clothing, my eyes never leaving hers. Bella's arms reach out to me to encourage my return, but I hesitate for a moment, wanting to memorize the wondrous picture she presents. As I carefully position myself over Bella, my lips return to her neck, tasting the perfume of her skin. "Bella," I whisper passionately, "you are so beautiful, love."

I move my attention lower, my mouth searching for her nipple. Bella gasps and involuntarily presses against me again when I begin teasing it with my tongue. Her hands weave themselves into my hair, entrapping my head and telling me more than all her whimpers of pleasure how much she wants me to persist. I am more than happy to oblige her silent request, stopping only long enough to replace my tongue with one hand, my fingers continuing to torment he extended peak of that breast, while my mouth seeks out the other.

Bella is getting frantic with desire. Her moans are almost continuous, interrupted only by repetitions of my name. Her hips instinctively buck against me, and I can feel her wetness against my skin. It draws my attention lower, and I began kissing my way towards the gentle mound of her sex. My hands caress the smooth skin of her thighs, gently pressuring her legs wider. My thumbs stroke the length of her outer lips before spreading them open, allowing me to tease the sensitive folds with my tongue.

The taste of her is amazing—I feel as if I could never get enough. I flick my tongue over her clit and Bella gasps, fisting the sheet in her hands. I assault the target with renewed vigor, loving every uncontrolled sound and movement of pleasure I elicit. My hands move back up her body, reaching to capture her breasts. As I squeeze her soft flesh, simultaneously rubbing my thumbs across her sweet nipples, her body arches, frozen for a moment in release as her juices flow into my mouth. My movements gentle as she relaxes, and I kiss her flesh softly before repositioning myself so I can hold her in my arms. She hides her face against my neck, and I stroke her hair.

"Edward," Bella whispers, "I want you inside of me."

I can hardly refuse such an invitation. I enter her slowly, her tightness barely accommodating my engorged length. There can be no better feeling in the world than to be inside Bella. I try to take it slow, but I'm losing the battle for restraint. My thrusting becomes more insistent, and I realize I will not be able to hold out for long. As the violence of my orgasm shakes me, I can feel Bella's insides clenching around me…

Realization hit me then. In the movie in my head, I was ecstatically spilling my seed inside Bella while she trembled with the aftershocks of her own orgasm. In reality, I was inseminating a tree trunk in the forest by her house. My moan of release turned into one of despair. I had truly reached the heights, or was it the depths, of degradation.

I also slowly became aware of certain sounds coming from various directions behind me. Fear struck me. There were almost certainly dangerous animals in this forest—bears maybe, wolves perhaps. It would be just my luck if the authorities, including Chief Swan, were to find my body lying in the woods by his house, my throat ripped out and my dick still in my hand. I adjusted my clothing and got the hell out of there.

As I drove home, I swore I wasn't going to beat off like that again. Outside I mean. At least not outside my car.

As I lay in bed, I also came to a decision. I would get Bella Swan to like me. And I was going to ask her out tomorrow. I was a good looking, intelligent and charming young man. I could handle this.

As I pulled into the parking lot at school the next morning, I noticed Bella's truck right behind me. I strategically ignored the first open spot, parking a few places down. I saw Bella pull into the space I had deliberately passed. I let my siblings walk away while I loitered for a minute. As Alice left, she turned and winked at me. No fool, she. I walked around to Bella's truck and found her standing by the door.

"Good morning, Bella," I said cheerfully.

She jumped a bit and dropped her key in a puddle. "You startled me," she said accusingly.

We both bent at the same time to pick the key up and ended up knocking our heads together. Could I be any smoother? I tried to apologize, but Bella just laughed, holding her forehead. I wanted to kiss it better.

"Okay, since it's your fault, you pick it up," she said with a smile.

I retrieved her key and placed it in her open palm. It was the first time in weeks that she had smiled at me, and I was entranced. I stood there staring at her with what must have been a goofy grin on my face. Bella's smile faded, but she continued to look at me. Finally, she shook her head and said, "We'll be late."

I matched her stride and walked towards the building with her. We were almost to the door by the time I had gathered my courage enough to ask her.

"Bella?"

She stopped to look up at me. "Yes, Edward?" The sound of her saying my name sent a thrill through my already churning insides.

"I'd like to…that is…would you consider…going on a date with me?"

She really did look surprised at that, but recovered quickly. "What did you have in mind, Edward?" she asked with a warm smile.

I was confused. "What do you mean?"

"Well," she laughed, "I mean when and where? The basic facts, you know." She was speaking to me like I was an idiot.

 _Fuck. Fuckfuckfuck._ I _was_ an idiot. I obviously hadn't thought this through very well. Of course, I should have some specific date in mind before I asked her out. Why hadn't I discussed this with Alice?

"Well, we could do whatever you like to do, Bella," I invented.

"Sorry, that's not good enough," she said teasingly.

"You mean you won't go out with me?" I asked with dismay. My heart was in my throat.

"What I mean is, you figure out what you're inviting me to do and when you want to do it, and ask me again. Then I'll give you an answer." She left me with a smile before running off to her first class.


	7. Chapter 7

I sat in class stewing over my latest failure with Bella. Would I ever get anything right? I was just so desperate to be with her and spend time with her. I really didn't care about when or where. But of course, that does seem to be an obvious prerequisite in order to take someone on a date. My lack of experience with girls was telling.

Still, she hadn't completely shot me down. And she had smiled at me. Perhaps I was just kidding myself, but I was almost certain there had been a "moment" there, standing by her truck, when we were looking at one another. Small but meaningful victories, I assured myself.

I was tempted to try to find Bella at lunch and convince her to sit with me. Clearly, though, I wasn't ready. If I couldn't even handle asking her for a date, I probably couldn't carry on a coherent conversation. I needed another plan. Both Phase I and Phase II of the BSR Plan had been complete failures. Now I needed to devise the Bella Swan Attraction Plan – the BSA Plan. Maybe the Win Bella Swan Plan – the WBS Plan. _Quit over-thinking things, Edward!_ The Bella Swan Plan, it is.

I needed some time alone. I left in my car at lunchtime, driving to my favorite deserted road. I started mulling over the possibilities of all the traditional dating venues. There were movies, but we couldn't really get to know one another that way. Dinner was a possibility, but that could be awkward, staring at one another over a table in a crowded restaurant. I could just bring Bella to my house, but that seemed a little too intimate for a first date. I moved on to the when. My family and I would be out of town for the next few days, so this weekend was shot. That left a week night—or Saturday during the day, since Bella was apparently busy Saturday night.

I liked the idea of seeing Bella on Saturday during the daytime. If it was halfway decent, we could spend our time outdoors in some quiet, isolated place. And that gave me an idea… Feeling pleased, I rewarded myself with a quick wank before heading back to school. After all, I needed to be…calm if I was going to speak with Bella again in Biology. I went to our classroom and impatiently awaited her arrival.

Newton escorted her in, as usual. I was determined to do something about that. Once I had successfully implemented the BS Plan…er, the Bella Swan Plan, he would no longer be escorting her around school or anywhere else.

When Bella sat down next to me, I turned to greet her with a smile. Before I could speak, however, Mr. Banner came in rolling a cart. He seemed very pleased with himself as he announced that we would be dissecting frogs in class that day. He took a container from the cart and opened it up. The odor of formaldehyde began filling the classroom. The smell became noticeably stronger as Mr. Banner handed out more of the containers.

As he approached our desk, Bella appeared to grow frantic. Her eyes were wide and she looked extremely distressed. Mr. Banner addressed her. "Bella, are you all right?"

"No. It's the smell, Mr. Banner," she choked out. "It makes me feel sick."

"Can someone take Bella to the nurse, please?" Mr. Banner asked. He seemed unhappy that his delightful surprise was not being well received by all.

Newton sprang up like a jack in the box, offering to help. _Over my dead body…_ I didn't say a word, but as Bella stood on shaky legs, I picked her up in my arms and strode from the classroom, giving Newton the smuggest look I could manage on the way out. _Fuck you, asshole!_

Bella was too miserable to object at first. She put her arms around my neck, and I thought I would die with satisfaction. I could feel one breast pressed again my chest, and I held her closer to me. I was so tempted to kiss the top of her head as it rested against my shoulder. When I pushed pass the doors to the outside, Bella came back to life.

"Edward, you can put me down now—I just needed some fresh air," she gasped.

I was reluctant. It was wonderful having her in my arms like this—a dream come true. A wet dream come true. Innumerable day dreams and fantasies come true. I was, however, a gentleman, so I complied with her request. I gently released her legs so she could stand, but continued to hold her against me, just to make sure she could balance on her own, you know. And she didn't pull away from me! She leaned against my body, her head leaning on my chest, her delicate hands clutching my biceps. I seriously didn't flex them much either.

I made bold to stroke her hair. It seemed like an appropriately comforting thing to do. "How are you feeling, Bella?" I asked with concern. _Please say you feel like shit so I can keep holding you like this!_

"Just a little dizzy," she responded weakly.

The doctor's son in me took over. I directed authoritatively, "You should sit down and put your head between your legs." _Or I could put my head between your legs…_

I located a relatively dry section of the stairs we were standing on and helped Bella to sit. I did not let go of her though, keeping one arm around her shoulders as she bent forward and took deep breaths. I sat there patiently, trying to think up another reason why I should take her in my arms again.

 _I got squat here,_ the monster admitted.

"Bella, are you okay?" I asked after a minute or so.

She slowly raised herself up, took another deep breath, and gave me a shaky smile. "No, I'm not okay," she admitted. "I feel like an idiot."

"Don't be silly.” _Meet the poster boy for idiocy._ "What happened to make you sick?"

"Ugh! It's that smell—that horrible smell! I had to dissect a fetal pig in my Biology class back in Phoenix. We worked on it every day for two weeks. By the end of that time, I could hardly stand it. I think that's the first time I've smelled formaldehyde since then. It just brought everything back," she trailed off with a shudder.

"Do you feel better now?" I asked softly. _If not, I'm sure I can think of some ways to help you feel better…_

"Yes, much. Thank you, Edward." She looked at me directly for the first time and then blushed.

"What is it?" I asked sympathetically.

"It's embarrassing," she admitted. "You carried me out of class."

 _Yes, and it was the most wonderful moment of my life!_ "You were sick, Bella. There's nothing to be embarrassed about." _And I know from embarrassing…_

"Well, what do we do now?" Bella gave a helpless laugh. "There's still fifty minutes of class to go, and I can't go back in there."

"Why don't I take you home?" I asked, trying to hide my excitement. I was overcome with thoughts of carrying Bella up the stairs in her house and gaining entrance to her bedroom. Of course, she wouldn't need to be carried by then—unless I could find some more formaldehyde. I quickly dismissed the monster's suggestion of stashing a pickled frog into my backpack. Still, perhaps she would need some assistance. "I'll go get our things. You wait here."

She nodded gratefully.

I returned with both of our backpacks and jackets a moment later. Bella was worried about leaving school without having seen the nurse.

"Don't worry," I assured her. "I know how to work Mrs. Cope for an excused absence."

I carried both of our backpacks slung over one shoulder and extended a hand to help Bella stand. Sick as a dog, she still looked incredibly beautiful. I put my arm around her waist to assist her to my car. It just felt so great having her plastered against me.

As I opened the door of my Volvo and helped Bella get in, she turned to me in alarm. "Wait, how will I get to school tomorrow if we leave my truck here?"

She looked so adorable when she was confused—just like in my schoolgirl seduction fantasy. Ahh, good times—in my head anyway. _Behave Little Eddie!_

"I'll have Alice drive your truck home and I'll follow her. I'd be happy to pick you up for school in the morning, but we're starting the weekend early so I won't be here tomorrow," I admitted.

"Are you sure? That seems like an awful lot of trouble."

I assured her it wasn't. "Oh, thanks," Bella accepted happily, handing me her keys.

When we arrived at Bella's house, we sat in the car and talked for a while. I finally got up the courage to renew my proposal for a date. I was so nervous.

"Bella, I've thought about what you said when I asked you out this morning. You were right, of course. I should have given it more thought. I guess I was just anxious to spend time with you—to get to know you better." _To get to know you in the Biblical sense, that is…_ "Anyway," I continued, "I was wondering if you were free a week from Saturday. I thought, if it's a nice day, we could go on a picnic together." _I know what I'd like to eat._

"Hmm. A week from Saturday…" Bella mused.

"Yes, you know—the day of the school dance?"

Bella rolled her eyes. "Yes, I could hardly forget that." She shook her head as if in disbelief.

I quickly added, "I would suggest an earlier date, but as I mentioned, my family and I are leaving town tomorrow afternoon and we won't be back until sometime on Tuesday."

Did I imagine it, or did she look disappointed? Was she sad that I was going away? Would she miss me? Would she think about me? Could I be anymore insecure? _Oh for God's sake, I'm doing it again…_

"Where are you going?" Bella asked.

"We'll be in San Francisco over the weekend. Esme, my mother, loves living in a small town, but only if she can get to the big city once a month or so to keep her sane. Sometimes just my parents go, but this time we're all going."

"That sounds wonderful," Bella sighed.

_It would be heaven if it was just the two of us going…_

"What will you do there?" Bella asked enviously.

"Well, the women will go shopping, as usual. I'm not really sure what the others have planned, although Emmett likes to go deep sea fishing, so we may do that. I generally prefer spending my time in museums."

"Ugh! I'm so jealous! How I would love to be doing that this weekend," Bella admitted.

_Sweetheart, if you were with me, we'd never leave the hotel room…_

I suddenly realized she hadn't responded to my invitation. I renewed it anxiously. "So, about that picnic… I know it's not very glamorous. Maybe there's something else you'd like to do?" _Like fuck my brains out?_

"Oh, Edward, I'm sorry." _Uh-oh_. "I got so carried away thinking about your weekend. Yes, of course, I would love to go on a picnic with you. It's a great idea. It's really sweet." She gave me a dazzling smile.

 _That's me—sweet to the very core,_ the monster asserted.

A huge involuntary grin overtook my features. The monster was doing back flips. "Great. Thank you, Bella. I'm really looking forward to it." Was I overdoing it? I did want her to know it was important to me.

Her answering smile was just as broad. "Thank you for asking me," she said softly before dropping her eyes.

 _Ooh, so shy—so innocent,_ the monster chortled.

"What do you have planned for the weekend?" I asked politely.

"Believe it or not, I've agreed to go to La Push with a group of friends. I still can't believe people here go to the beach in this kind of weather," she added with a shake of her head.

"Who all is going?" I asked, trying to keep my voice even.

"Mike Newton, Tyler Crowley, Eric and Jessica, together with a few others," Bella responded.

I was gritting my teeth now. An entire busload of guys, all of whom had asked Bella out, was accompanying her to the beach. A long weekend in San Francisco now seemed like pure torture.

I guess you have to go pick up your brothers and sisters now?" she asked.

Holy shit—I almost forgot them again. I looked at the clock and realized I only had ten minutes to get back to school in time. And I still needed to schmooze Mrs. Cope for the excuses. I jumped out of the car and opened Bella's door for her. She murmured a quick thank you and gave me another appreciative smile. _Nice move, Edward!_

I watched Bella walk into her house. She turned back and waved at me. The monster and I were in complete agreement: _God she has a cute ass…_

As I predicted, the weekend was pure hell. All I could think about was Bella. I tried to tell myself there was safety in numbers, but every single one of the guys she mentioned had hit on her. And those were only the ones I knew about! I kept envisioning Bella surrounded by guys from school as they vied for her attention at La Push. Would she let any of them touch her? Would she agree to go out with one of them? I couldn't stand it.

It didn't help that I couldn't stop imagining what it would be like to be in San Francisco with Bella. I was sharing a hotel room with my brothers, and every time I would think about how incredible it would be to have Bella lying across the bed, I would look up and see Emmett's fat ass.

Plus, there seemed to be reminders everywhere, at least to my eyes. Every time I saw a girl with long brown hair I would do a double take. Although I knew none of them could possibly be Bella, it didn't stop my heart from racing when I would notice a resemblance. Worse, while I was casually looking through the hotel magazine, my eyes became glued to an advertisement for a lingerie store. The model was wearing a dark blue corset making her breasts protrude in the most appealing way, and her looks were strangely similar to Bella's. I secretly ripped the page out of the magazine so I could take it home for…further study.

Even more maddening, there was nothing I could do to assuage my…stress. I hadn't realized how addicted I had become to gratifying myself to my fabulous fantasies of Bella. Now, without privacy of any kind, I was forced to go cold turkey…no sex life at all—it was extremely painful.

I tried to comfort myself with the fact that next weekend, we would be together. Bella and I would be all alone on a romantic picnic. The problem was, that just led to more impure thoughts, none of which could be acted upon with Jasper and Emmett looming. I knew I was getting on everyone's nerves, but I couldn't seem to help myself. Between worrying about all the guys lusting after Bella and my frustration at being unable to relieve my own lust, I was miserable.

I never believed I would think this way, but I just couldn't wait to get home to Forks.


	8. Chapter 8

I was consumed with thoughts of Bella all the way home from San Francisco. I couldn't wait to talk to her—to see her. I kept thinking about how it had felt to hold her against me. Even if it wasn't for the reason I wanted, it had still been wonderful. My arms ached to hold her again.

That said, other parts of my body were also aching. While unpacking my suitcase, I found the picture of Bella in that blue corset. Okay, so it wasn't really Bella, but if I squinted just a little, _dear God…_

I decided I needed a…shower after all that travel. So, after focusing on the picture for a few more minutes, I made my way to the bathroom. There was no pretense here. I soaped myself up and thought about Bella in that dark blue corset. It didn't take much—it was her breasts protruding from that engineering miracle, looking as if they were offered up like lambs for the sacrifice—that did me in. As I mentally pushed the fabric away and feasted on her breasts, it took only a few strokes before I was spilling my release. I leaned my forehead against the shower wall as my breathing slowed, my hands splayed on either side of my head. Dear God, I wanted her.

I was already starting to get hard again. Was it even possible to desire a woman this much? I had no experience with this sort of thing, but my deprived body was telling me I had to have more. I resumed my stroking. I needed to be inside of Bella, so that's where I went. I saw myself hovering over her naked body, Bella's mouth slightly parted and her eyelids heavy with passion. She was ready for me and desperate with want. I plunged inside of her in one stroke and moaned loudly. I momentarily paused to kiss her lips, to engulf my tongue inside her mouth. It was ecstasy, both my tongue and cock thrusting fiercely inside Bella. The violence of my second orgasm left me weak and trembling.

I had to stop thinking like this. It wasn't really the way I wanted her anymore, I mean, at least most of the time. I wanted to be gentle and loving. But my ferocious need had overridden my more tender yearnings. And if I didn't stop obsessing over her and get out of the shower soon, I'd be going for a hat trick.

As I made my way into my room to get dressed, I felt anxious. I wanted to speak with Bella—to see her. I thought about driving over to her house, but that seemed too forward. After all, we weren't really dating—not yet anyway. Yet I had missed her so much over the last few days that I needed some contact. I decided a phone call would be appropriate.

I looked up the Swans' telephone number and impulsively dialed. I was totally unprepared for what happened next.

"Hello," said a decidedly masculine voice.

Shit, it was her father. I was certainly not expecting him to be home from work yet. It took me a moment to recover.

"Hello, Chief Swan. I was wondering if I might speak with Bella. This is Edward Cullen." _You know, the boy who just mercilessly fucked your naked and yielding daughter. Twice._

"Edward Cullen? No, Bella's not home. She went to Port Angeles this afternoon to do some shopping. I'll tell her that you called though."

"Thank you, Chief Swan," I said politely before hanging up.

Christ, I was shaking. That man carried a gun, and if he could see what I was thinking… I'm pretty sure they'd never find my body, and I suspected that my balls would be missing if they did.

 _Courage Edward!_ The monster spurred me on.

Gathering my nerve, I decided to take a ride in my Volvo. It was no accident that I found myself heading in the direction of Port Angeles. I drove like a maniac and arrived in about forty minutes. Now what was I supposed to do—start searching the stores for Bella? _Edward, you're an idiot…an obsessed idiot…a horny, obsessed, wanking idiot._

I drove slowly down the main street of Port Angeles. A few times. Okay, for half an hour. I couldn't believe it when I finally saw a girl with long brown hair standing on the sidewalk talking to two men. Could that be Bella? Who were the men?

I slowed to a crawl as I observed her. I was sure that was Bella, although I couldn't see her face from this angle. Something in her body language suggested she was tense. She seemed to be edging backward slightly as the men spoke to her. That was enough for me. I pulled into the closest parking space on the side of the street where Bella stood and charged out of my Volvo. When I called her name, she looked at me, first in surprise and then in relief. I took that as my cue. I strode over to her and put my arm around her waist.

"Sorry I'm late, sweetheart. Who are your friends?" I snarled the last words. Neither one of these guys was small and they were both older than me, but I think the rage I felt must have been coming off me in waves. In fact, I probably looked somewhat demented. They backed away before returning to the nearest bar. I reluctantly released Bella and turned to address her.

"I hope I didn't interrupt anything—that they really weren't friends of yours. I spotted you while I was driving by and you seemed…uncomfortable." _Yeah, and it only took me fifty trips down the street to happen upon you._

I was relieved when I heard her say, "Thank you, Edward. I _was_ uncomfortable. I was actually starting to get a little scared, although I doubt there was anything to worry about in a town like this, especially since it's still light out."

"Why did you come to Port Angeles?" I asked. Her father said she was shopping, but she wasn't carrying any bags.

"I was looking for a book store," she admitted with chagrin. "I didn't find one."

This seemed like a heaven-sent opportunity. The monster urged me to boldness. "Well, just so this evening doesn't count as a total waste, would you let me take you to dinner?" I asked with my most winning grin.

Bella looked up at me with a smile, and my breathing stopped short. My God she was beautiful. No wonder guys were sniffing after her at school and harassing her on the street—she was a lust magnet.

"Okay," she agreed shyly.

I assisted her into my Volvo, aptly demonstrating the difference between a gentleman like myself and those thugs whose intentions were so clearly dishonorable. I drove to a small Italian restaurant down the street and parked. As we entered the restaurant, the hostess approached us and led us to a table.

Bella stood by the table, enveloped in the rays of the dying sun coming through the window. I almost gasped. Although it hadn't been noticeable before, some trick of the light and shadows in here made her white shirt more transparent. And I could clearly see that she was wearing that damn blue bra. _Christ, is all of her underwear blue?_ I felt a stirring of desire. I'd never make it through dinner—I’d be too busy staring at her breasts and fantasizing. I turned to the hostess.

"If you wouldn't mind, I'd prefer to sit somewhere more—" I couldn't even finish my request. I have no idea what the hostess assumed, but she led us to a booth at the back of the restaurant. I sighed in relief as we sat down, but I was still lost in thought about what I had seen. Her bra was almost the same color as that fabulous corset. If Bella ever did become my girlfriend, I was definitely calling that lingerie store.

"I love that color on you," I murmured dreamily.

Bella looked down at herself before asking me in confusion, "What, white?"

I could feel myself turning red. _Fucking brilliant Edward—you're blowing it already!_ "Uh, I mean, you look nice tonight."

"Thank you." Bella still seemed bemused, but I saw her give an almost imperceptible shrug. "What are you doing in Port Angeles?"

_I'm stalking you._

I realized suddenly that if I told the truth, it would sound like stalking. But seeing as I had called her house and her father would tell her about our conversation, there was no way around it. I stalled for time.

"I missed you the last few days," I admitted. Bella blushed and shyly dropped her eyes. The monster growled. _Oh dear God, don't do that. Please don't make yourself look more vulnerable._ My eyes dropped to her breasts, and I felt my hands clench. Temporarily dazed, I admitted more than I had intended.

"I called your house when we got home. Your dad said you were here in Port Angeles. I guess I found myself unconsciously driving in this direction before I realized it. I was surprised when I spotted you. I hope you don't mind, Bella." There, I didn't lie too much. I held my breath as I waited for her response.

"No, I don't mind," she admitted with a smile. "I'm glad you found me, especially when you did."

The waitress interrupted our discussion, asking me if we were ready to order. I deferred to Bella with a gesture of my hand. The waitress grimaced for some reason, and when I looked at Bella I noticed she was frowning.

"I'll have a coke and the mushroom ravioli," Bella said with a tight smile.

"I'll have the same." I hadn't even bothered to look at the menu, but I doubted I'd be eating much anyway.

"You look upset, Bella. What's wrong?"

She shook her head. "First the hostess and now the waitress…" she trailed off.

"What?" I asked in confusion.

"They're both ogling you as if I don't exist—as if you weren't here with your…date."

Elation filled me at the implication of her words. Could Bella be jealous? That must mean she likes me! Why did she hesitate before saying the word "date" though? What other word did she stop herself from using? Was it possible she was thinking "girlfriend"? Why was I grilling myself again?

"I really didn't notice either of them, Bella. There's only one girl here that holds any interest for me." _And she's wearing blue underwear…_

Bella blushed in the most adorable way. The monster sighed.

The waitress reappeared with our cokes. Bella took a long drink of hers, and then shivered. As my eyes drifted downward, I could see her body's involuntary reaction to the cold. Bella's nipples were conspicuously protruding from under her shirt. Wait, more than that—they were clearly fully erect and straining against the tight fabric. They looked as perfect as I had imagined them when just a short time ago I was circling them with my tongue, gently pinching and twisting them between my fingers, tormenting them with my lips and teeth… I broke out in a sweat while the monster began giggling. _Fuck, I'm getting hard again. How many times do I have to beat off before it's safe to be around this woman? Five? Ten?_

"Are you cold, Bella?" I croaked out, my voice an octave higher than normal. "Don't you have a jacket?" _Please God, say you have a jacket, preferably armored…._

She hesitated a moment. "I guess I left it in my car." She folded her arms around her torso and began rubbing her hands up and down her arms. This had the effect of plumping her breasts together and making her delicious nipples even more obvious. I swallowed my distress, although a sound akin to a "mew" managed to escape me. The monster licked its lips.

I pinched the bridge of my nose for a moment to obstruct the view before taking off my jacket and practically thrusting it at Bella. "Please, take mine." _I'm begging you…._

Bella thanked me and donned my jacket. I could finally breathe again.

The waitress reappeared with our food, and I gave silent praise. I paid her even less attention than I had the first time. Bella smiled. I would do anything to see that smile. _And her tits,_ the monster added excitedly. _Don't forget her tits!_

I suddenly remembered the conversation Bella and I had in my car last week. "How was your trip to LaPush?" I asked, keeping my voice even.

Bella smiled. "It turned out really great. I ran into an old family friend on the reservation."

"Oh? Tell me more."

"His name is Jacob Black." _Oh shit—it had to be a guy._

Bella continued. "His father is a friend of Charlie's—my dad, I mean. His family used to own my pickup truck. When I came here during summers as a child, I would play with his sisters. It was really nice seeing him."

Fuck. It wasn't bad enough she went to the beach with an entire regiment of guys. She had to meet another one. I wondered if I was fighting fate trying to make Bella mine.

"I'm so pleased you had a good time," I responded in a strangled voice. I was pushing the food around my plate, dismayed by thoughts of my unknown rival. The monster whimpered.

"Did you do anything else interesting this weekend?" _Like go on a date with that shithead?_

"No, just homework," Bella responded. "How was San Francisco?"

"It was…fine," I answered lamely. All I could really remember about it though was missing Bella and driving my family crazy. We talked about it for a few minutes before Bella ended the discussion.

"I should probably get home," she admitted. "I'm later than I thought I would be."

I got the check from the waitress and paid the bill. I wanted to put my arm around Bella as we left the restaurant, but was concerned about her reaction. It was just so unclear where I stood with her. Besides, with her walking ahead of me I got a chance to admire her tight little ass.

I gave Bella a ride to her truck and let her know I would follow her home, to make sure she arrived safely. I assisted her from my car and before entering her truck she kissed me on the cheek and said thank you. "You've come to my aid three times now. I really appreciate it, Edward." I was too busy smiling from ear to ear to acknowledge her gratitude—sent into raptures over a kiss on the cheek. _This is just the beginning!_ cheered the monster.

Bella began to remove my jacket to return it to me. I quickly grabbed the edges and folded them back around her. "You keep it until tomorrow, Bella. Your jacket has been sitting in your car and is cold. This one is already warmed up," I invented quickly.

Bella nodded her thanks and smiled at me. I sighed in relief. It was even colder outside, of course, than it has been in the restaurant. If I saw her nipples one more time tonight I'd be fucking her mouth with my tongue before she knew what hit her.

The trip to her house was tortuous. Her truck was so annoyingly slow. And there was now nothing to stop me from concentrating on the image of Bella's breasts and what I would do once I really got my hands on them. I fleetingly thought about beating off as drove behind Bella, but discarded the idea instantly as the creepiness factor sank in. Besides, it seemed like another death wish, only this time Chief Swan would find me impaled on the steering column of my car with my dick in my hand…

When we got to her house, Bella left her truck and came over to the passenger side window of my car. I lowered the window. She bent over to say good night and her shirt gaped, giving me a spectacular view of her breasts. It took all of my will power to tear my eyes away and focus on her face, by which time I had no idea what she had said.

I had enough presence of mind to ask Bella if I could pick her up for school in the morning. She agreed and waved good night to me. I waited impatiently for her to enter her house before taking off. With that last graphic image of her burning in my brain, I raced for home.


	9. Chapter 9

On arriving home, I was distracted from my intended…objective when I ran into Alice. I stopped and asked her to come to the kitchen to talk to me. I was tired of making a fool of myself in front of Bella. I wanted everything to go perfectly on Saturday.

Alice eagerly agreed to assist in my efforts. In fact, the entire affair was in danger of fast becoming an "Alice Cullen original production." She was throwing out menu suggestions faster than I could shoot them down.

"No, Alice—no foie gras. This is supposed to be a simple but romantic picnic—not the Queen's garden party. Please try to restrain yourself," I pleaded.

There would be nothing I could do to stop her from going to the store and buying all of the necessary items, although I insisted that I would help prepare everything. I didn't want Bella to think I hadn't taken the trouble to arrange things myself.

Alice was very excited for me. I decided to take advantage of the situation and asked for her dating advice.

"What do you want to know, Edward?"

"Well, what do girls want?" I asked.

"I can't tell you that!" Alice exclaimed. "I'll be ejected from the sisterhood."

"Very funny, Alice. Look, just give me a few pointers, will you?" I pleaded.

"Well, a girl wants a boy to be nice, first of all."

I nodded. I could be nice. The monster straightened its halo.

"Second, being well mannered—you know, gentlemanly—is always a good thing."

Well, that was me all over. The monster took a bow.

"Third, knowing a guy is more interested in your brain than your body is a real plus."

 _Uh-oh._ Not that I wasn't more interested in Bella's personality; I was. I definitely was. Really. No question. The monster nodded vigorously.

"And being with a guy who can take care of himself, as well as you, is kind of nice too. You feel safe and protected."

Well, in view of past events, I felt pretty confident about my ability to keep Bella safe. The monster struck a pose and flexed its muscles.

"Thank you, Alice. I really appreciate your help—with everything." I truly was grateful. I saw her shaking her head. "What?" I asked in confusion.

"It's just so cute—you trying to impress a girl." Alice sighed.

Unfortunately, Esme walked in at that moment. "What girl?" she asked, eyes alight with curiosity. "Have you got a girlfriend, Edward?"

"No, I haven't," I insisted.

"Yes, he has," Alice contradicted. "Well, almost. Bella would be crazy if she didn't want to be your girlfriend. He's taking her on a picnic Saturday."

"Oh, I'm so happy for you, Edward." Esme beamed with delight and something else—relief? Comprehension? "You have to let me help. We can bake cookies Friday night."

"Look, it's just a first date. She's not my girlfriend. So please, don't make more of this than it is," I begged. I really didn't want to have to make explanations if things didn't go well and Bella never spoke to me again.

"It's just some cookies, Edward," Esme said chidingly.

"Okay, that would be great. I should go do some homework. Thank you both for your help," I said while escaping the kitchen.

I could hear the two of them discussing Bella as I left. I fleetingly wondered if Esme might make the connection between the recent lack of hot water and my sudden interest in a girl. No, I was just being paranoid.

I locked the door to my room. Let's see, where was I before I was diverted? Ah yes, I remember. The image of Bella's breasts as she leaned over at my car window was taunting me. I threw off my clothes and donned a pair of old sweat pants. As I lay down on my bed, I just couldn't help imagining how wonderful it would be to have Bella leaning over me, her breasts hovering above my face as I kneaded and suckled them. _Fuck me but that was a great visual…_ Wait, let's start over and do this right.

So, Bella is standing in my room, wearing one of those camisole tops, blue of course, and jeans. No, hold it, not jeans—a flowing white skirt—much better access with a skirt. Not too short—nothing slutty for my Bella—maybe a couple of inches above the knee. And she slowly approaches the bed, a shy smile on her face. God, she's beautiful. She crawls onto the bed and straddles my lap before leaning over to expose her generous cleavage to me. I reach up and pull the straps of her top down her arms, fully revealing her breasts. She bends forward a little more, her nipples begging for attention. I capture one in my mouth while tormenting the other with my hand, my fingers rubbing and twisting the swollen peak. Bella can't control the moans of delight this elicits, or her body's reaction to the pleasure. She begins to rub herself up and down the length of my erection. My other hand trails up her leg under her skirt, enjoying the feel of her silken thigh. I slip my hand inside Bella's wet panties and begin to explore her moist folds. She looks at me with such love and desire that I groan in response. I am helpless as she slides down my body, pulling my pants with her to expose my rigid shaft. I watch in fascination as Bella seductively licks her lips before sliding them around the head of my cock. The visual is so tantalizing, I last an entire nanosecond before my body is taken in spasm and my release spills across my chest.

  1. I snapped out of it to find the tissues were out of reach. Everything useful was out of reach. I jumped up and ran to my bathroom, grabbing a towel off the vanity to clean up the mess on my abdomen. I started to throw the towel in the hamper but worried that it would be crusty with evidence when it dried. So I washed it out before returning to my bed. Having a sex life required some degree of responsibility, but it was so worth it. That night, I dreamed about Bella in that feminine, flowing white skirt. She kept me company in the shower the next morning as well.



I was relieved to see no police cruiser in Bella's driveway when I went to pick her up for school on Wednesday. Meeting Chief Swan was going to take some visceral preparation, which if I was fortunate would not include mentally fucking his daughter just minutes beforehand. I parked in the driveway and was approaching the door when Bella emerged with a warm smile on her face.

"Good morning, Edward," she said cheerfully.

I stopped breathing and my heart swelled. My eyes focused immediately on her luscious mouth. It took everything I had not to grab her and shove my tongue down her throat.

"Good morning swe—Bella," I responded nervously. I opened my passenger side door for her in a daze. Just one look at her and I was reeling.

I couldn't quite understand my reaction. It felt like I was having trouble getting air into my lungs. My feelings must have been reflected in the stupid grin that almost certainly occupied my face now. As I walked around to my door, it hit me like a sledgehammer, and I stopped in my tracks. I was in love with Bella Swan. The revelation was breathtaking. She was kind and smart and funny and sexy and beautiful and I loved her. _Me too!_ insisted the monster.

When I re-entered my car, it took me a moment to recover from the realization. My insides were buzzing. Then I remembered what Alice had said about making sure a woman knew you wanted more than her body. So I spent most of the drive asking Bella a variety of questions, just to get to know her better. Okay, so I admit I was looking for information I could tuck away for future use to advance my cause. My questions had a theme—what is your favorite…? I took note of every answer she gave me.

After we arrived at school, I assisted Bella from my car. I did not release her hand as we walked towards school, and when she squeezed mine in return, my heart soared. I was filled with a surge of confidence.

When we arrived at her first classroom of the morning, I swept her hair behind her ear and leaned in to whisper, "I'll see you at lunch." I left with a light kiss on her cheek, and I could have sworn it elicited a slight shiver from Bella. The monster began tap dancing.

I floated to my first class on a cloud. I didn't hear a thing all morning. After my last subject, I rushed to meet Bella at her classroom to take her to lunch. I leaned against the wall, waiting for her to emerge.

Bella greeted me with another broad smile. I celebrated internally. I was hungry for more than food, but there would be no more lunchtime sex for me. _At least not alone!_ the monster added with a wink and a nudge.

I tried to disregard the attention we received in the cafeteria, ensconced in my own little world with Bella. Still, I couldn't help seeing the surprised faces as people noticed us sitting together. Geez, this town needed to get a life. I also took particular delight in walking hand in hand with Bella into Biology class. I pointedly ignored Mike Newton. The monster, not as noble, gloated.

The pattern continued over the next couple of days. I kept asking questions of Bella to get to know her better. Every response delighted me—she was just so interesting, so fascinating, and so _fucking_ desirable. At each of our partings, I gave Bella a kiss on the cheek, but they were becoming less chaste each time, my mouth trailing down to her jaw or lingering at her neck as I inhaled her intoxicating scent. And each time I sensed her increasing responsiveness. By Friday, I felt like I was walking on air.

That afternoon, however, brought a new and unpleasant development. Bella and I were sitting in my car after I had driven her home from school. We agreed that I would pick her up mid-morning on Saturday for our picnic. I was pleased that the forecast predicted mild and pleasant weather for that day. It looked like everything was going to work out. As she started to say good-bye, I leaned in for a kiss, this time aiming directly for her enticing mouth. Before I could attain my goal though, an unfamiliar car pulled into Bella's driveway, and her attention was drawn away. _Fuckfuckfuck._

Bella smiled a bit sheepishly before saying good-bye and exiting my Volvo. I saw a tall, young man, apparently native-American, emerge from the car. He greeted Bella with a warm smile before turning to assist someone else. It was obvious from his expression that he definitely wanted Bella. My jaw clenched in anger. Worse, Bella looked quite happy to see him. I was devastated. The monster broke down in sobs.

I had no reason to be lingering here watching this exchange, so I took off. I couldn't believe how horrendous it felt to see Bella happy in the company of another boy. I wallowed in misery most of the way home before recovering. My resolve stiffened. This was just another guy after my little lust magnet. I would defeat all contenders and make her mine! The monster rose to its feet, sniffled one last time, and roared in agreement.

Alice, Esme, and I worked together that evening to organize the ideal picnic. They both agreed to help finish everything in the morning. I thanked them profusely before heading to my room. Now, with nothing to do, I was getting nervous about tomorrow. It wasn't just wanting everything to be perfect and getting Bella to like me as much as I did her that was bothering me. In view of past events, I was a little concerned about my ability to control myself around her. Was it even a good idea for me to be alone with Bella? The realization that I loved her only seemed to emphasize the magnitude of my need.

It felt as if she had become more and more welcoming of my advances this week. If that continued, I had to be alert not to push things too far. I was afraid it wouldn't take too much encouragement for Bella to suddenly find herself on her back, my spunk jetting inside her, before either of us knew what happened.

Although it had not been the most effective preventative thus far, the only option I could see was to continue on my…original course. I realized it would take measures on a…heroic scale to prepare myself to be completely alone with Bella before I picked her up tomorrow. I assured myself I was up to the task. By the time I left my room and came downstairs in the morning, I was so sore I think I flinched a few times. At least the thought of more…friction would be discouraging, or so I hoped.

As I walked into the kitchen, Alice and Esme greeted me with similar sly smiles, Alice proudly pointing to the insulated picnic tote in which she had packed everything.

"You're all set, Edward. Esme and I finished this morning. The rest is up to you," she added meaningfully.

I gave them both a kiss on the cheek and thanked them again for their help. It was somewhat disquieting that half the family now seemed to be invested in this date. If things went badly, there would be no way to sweep it under the rug.

As I drove over to Bella's house, I tried to prepare myself to meet Chief Swan. I wasn't really that worried, I told myself. After all, I'd been given all of the appropriate education for a proper young gentleman. Still, I ruthlessly expunged all impure thoughts from my head and admonished the monster to stay out of sight. My concern was misplaced, as no police cruiser was present in the driveway. I was still a little early, but couldn't restrain myself from approaching the door anyway. With a little luck, I might find Bella in a state of partial dress…

Nope. No luck at all. The moment Bella opened the door, I realized luck had completely abandoned me—had, in fact, turned tail and fled on foot. To make matters worse, I could hear fate howling with hysterical laughter too. I was struck dumb when Bella appeared in the doorway, a happy smile lighting her face. The monster started drooling…

She was wearing a dark blue camisole and a frothy white skirt.


	10. Chapter 10

_Bloody fucking hell…_

I stared at Bella. My much abused dick was beginning to come back to life. I actually started to wonder for a moment if Bella could read my mind. Somehow she had managed to pluck the exact outfit from my most recent fantasy right out of my brain and was deliberately taunting me. I swallowed nervously. The monster started stroking itself.

"Good morning, Bella," I muttered, unable to stop my voice from cracking.

"Is there something wrong, Edward?" Bella asked, looking down at herself. She would have to be blind not to see that my stunned eyes hadn't moved a fraction of an inch from her body.

"No, um, not exactly." I could feel beads of sweat forming on the back of my neck. I took a deep breath and tried to center myself. "You look lovely, Bella. Truly. I'm just feeling extremely remiss for not telling you that we would be hiking a little way for our picnic today. Not far, but there is a particularly lovely spot that I have in mind. I just want to make sure you'll be comfortable in those…er, sandals. At the same time, you look so pretty, I hate to even suggest that you change." _Please change. Please change. Please change before I bend you over the nearest flat, stable surface and toss your skirt over your head…_

"Oh, well come on in. Give me just a minute and I'll find something more appropriate to wear," she said, clearly not bothered by either my lapse in memory or composure.

She turned and ran up the stairs, presumably to that room in the front of the house. I tried desperately not to picture Bella's skirt sliding down over her hips and hitting the floor. I made a real effort not to imagine her standing in her room, clad only in that blue camisole and probably some lacy blue panties. I attempted not to picture her fabulous ass half exposed as she bent over a dresser drawer, looking for alternative clothing. And I really, really sought to ignore the monster as it goaded me to follow her up the stairs. _Christ, I'm shaking…_

I wandered into the living room looking around for something to divert my attention. There was a series of pictures of Bella as a child. Well, that certainly cooled my ardor. I was entranced looking through them. She was adorable even then.

A moment later Bella came down the stairs, and I breathed a sigh of relief. She was still wearing the blue camisole, _damn it_ , but she had also donned a white hoodie. More importantly, the skirt was gone, _thank God_. She had slipped on a pair of Capri length jeans and red tennis shoes. I stared for a moment, captivated by how the cute little girl had become this stunning woman.

"Ready?" I asked, my equilibrium restored.

Bella nodded and smiled at me. When she held out her hand in invitation, my own smile widened absurdly, and my heart skipped a beat. The butterflies in my stomach ran rampant. The monster clutched its heart.

I struggled to keep my eyes on the road as we drove. Each time I looked in Bella's direction I found her watching me. I was too distracted to make conversation.

"Where are we going?" Bella finally asked.

 _To the woods!_ shouted the monster excitedly.

"Alice and I were exploring one day last year when we found a little meadow. It's become one of my favorite spots. I go there sometimes, just to think, or when I want to be alone. I'm hoping you'll like it too.”

When we arrived at the end of the road that was our destination, I helped Bella to exit the car before grabbing the duffle bag from the back seat. When I turned around, I almost ran into her, she was standing so close to me. My pulse skipped as I gazed down on her face, and I couldn't resist giving her a quick kiss on the cheek.

"Shall we go?" I asked gruffly. _Before I toss this bag to the side and throw you in the back seat of my car?_

"How far is it?" Bella asked dubiously.

"It's only about a half hour walk. But we're in no hurry—you can set the pace," I offered.

I took her hand, and we started into the woods. It was warm and close under the trees. After a few minutes, Bella stopped to remove her hoodie, tying it around her waist. I tried not to gawk at her cleavage as we continued, but I knew I wasn't completely successful. The monster didn't even attempt to be discreet.

When we arrived at the clearing, I let Bella advance ahead of me. As I watched her walk, I wondered if substituting those jeans for the white skirt was any better, really. They were tight as hell and emphasized each of her sweet curves. I shook my dazed head and followed her.

Finding a place where the grass was lower, I put down the bag. Bella turned around and smiled joyously at me. Would I ever get used to how beautiful she was? She jogged over to where I was standing, and I couldn't even pretend not to notice the delightful way her breasts bounced. However, I was confident Bella didn't overhear the small keening sound that emerged before I could clamp my lips together. The monster wore a slightly stupid look.

"It's so pretty here, Edward. It's perfect, really," she announced with happiness, still smiling broadly.

I had to clear my throat before I could speak. "I'm so glad you're pleased," I replied intelligently.

"Can I help you with that stuff?" Bella asked cheerfully.

_There is one big thing you could help me with…_

"No, I've got it," I responded while opening the bag. I couldn't see much inside the dark bag, but noticed a blanket on top, so I grabbed it to spread it out. It wasn't until I flung it open in the sunlight that I did a double take. It was red plaid. _This is like some kind of fucking conspiracy…_

Bella must not have noticed the look of dismay on my face. "What have you got in there?" she asked.

"Well, I'll be honest," I responded, dragging my eyes from the blanket. "I asked Alice to help me arrange things, and she packed the bag. However, I don't want you to think I didn't help. Last night I assisted in the preparation of the food. I even baked cookies," I added, looking to score points.

It worked. Bella gave me the sweetest smile. "That's so nice, Edward." The monster struck a modest pose, digging its toe into the ground.

I chuckled silently as I unpacked the bag. Alice had thought of everything. I'd owe her big time for this.

First I found my iPod, already inserted into a set of battery operated speakers. I wondered if there was a "Bella Swan Picnic" playlist on it. There was. I trusted Alice and hit the play button. The strains of a Sinatra song began softly floating through the meadow. Well, I had told Alice I wanted the picnic to be romantic…

"Wow," Bella exclaimed. "We even have music." She lay down on her stomach, propping her chin on her elbows, and my eyes were instinctively drawn to her luscious backside in those tight jeans. _Shit, where's that skirt when you need it?_ The monster fell forward and started humping the blanket.

I pulled out a soft cooler, offering Bella her choice of coke or water. She accepted a coke, while I opened a bottle of water. Then I noticed in a blocked off area of the bag two white roses and a small vase. Now I knew why Alice asked about Bella's favorite flower. I poured a little water in the vase and set it up on the blanket. Bella looked at me with melting eyes, and I silently blessed Alice once again.

"What else have you got in that bag?" Bella laughingly asked.

"Just food, I think. Are you hungry?"

"No, not yet. I am curious though," she said enigmatically.

"I've noticed that about you," I responded with a laugh. "What would you like to know?"

Bella kept her eyes down. "You've gone to an awful lot of trouble, Edward. I'm wondering why?"

 _Crap_. The monster stopped humping the blanket, raised its head and said _huh_?

Bella rolled over onto her side, at least taking her ass out of the distraction equation. It didn't help my brain that much in finding an answer though.

"Would it suffice if I just said that I really like you—a lot?" I asked hopefully.

Bella pursed her fabulous lips. _Oh God, don't do that._ The monster puckered up.

"I'm still a little confused. Let's just say your behavior towards me has been…inconsistent. The first time I saw you, in Biology, you acted like I'd kicked you or something. Then the next day you were fine. And it's been changing from one extreme to the other since then, more or less. I wonder why that is, if you don't mind telling me," she asked politely.

I nodded and took a deep breath. It wasn't like she didn't deserve an explanation. Now, how to do so without sounding like a total idiot? The monster, helpful as always, shrugged.

"Bella, this is really difficult to describe. You'll probably think I'm…strange." I paused before admitting, "It's just that I don't have a lot of experience with girls." _Real experience, that is…_

Bella looked shocked.

"It's true, Bella." _I do, however, have a lot of experience with self love._ "Honestly, I've never really been interested in a girl until I met you."

Bella's eyes widened even more. "That's rather hard to believe, Edward."

"I'm being absolutely truthful. I'm not saying that girls don't pay attention to me, because they do. But I have never sought it. I've always felt as if most girls I met were just uninteresting—well, most teenagers as a matter of fact. And that explains why I'm not very good at this, I guess."

I paused a moment before continuing. "The first time I saw you, I was thunderstruck. I thought you were the most…appealing woman I'd ever seen. And I guess I was just unprepared—I didn't know how to react." _Other than to get a ginormous hard on…_

Bella sat up and moved closer to where I sat Indian style on the blanket. She positioned herself in front of me. "And then what?" she asked quietly.

"To be frank, Bella, I didn't really want to like you. I found your presence so…disruptive. I wasn't used to that. I had always thought that I didn't need anyone else in my life—that I was fine all on my own. Looking back on it, I'm stunned by how arrogant I was. So, to be completely candid, when we first spoke, I was hoping that my interest in you would dissipate—that you'd turn out to be as uninteresting as everyone else—and I could go back to my safe, self-satisfied existence. That didn't happen. I found you to be fascinating, intelligent, and funny. I began to like you, more than I ever thought possible. That was…disconcerting, to put it mildly. My well ordered world was thrown into chaos."

Bella was watching me intently, hanging on my every word. "Is that why you stopped talking to me?"

"No, not exactly." As usual with Bella, I admitted more than I had intended. "After the incident with Tyler's van, I was just too ashamed to talk to you," I confessed, dropping my eyes. "I had never…lost control…like that before."

"So, that's why you didn't speak with me?" Bella asked incredulously. The monster gave me a hard, questioning look.

It was my turn to look shocked. "Yes. What did you think?"

"I don't know. I thought you were angry with me for some reason I couldn't fathom. I just never thought… it was anything like that," Bella finished. "You do realize now that you had nothing to be embarrassed about, don't you?"

"You couldn't have convinced me of that at the time. I was way beyond embarrassed—mortified would be more apt."

Bella shook her head. "We can't continually be in control of our reactions or our feelings."

"I always was— _always—_ until I met you," I responded. "I'm afraid that if I told you how much I think about you, how much wanting to be in your company has become an…addiction for me, you'd run away screaming. The fact is, I have to…work to maintain my composure whenever I'm around you."

A sly smile appeared on Bella's face. "Well, you should probably know, it certainly didn't make me think, uh, _less_ of you. In fact, it was, um, nice to imagine that you were a little attracted to me. I was actually pretty devastated when you started avoiding me."

I picked up one of Bella's hands and took it in both of mine before making the most difficult confession. "Ignoring you did me no good whatsoever, Isabella. In spite of all my efforts, without exchanging one word with you all that time, I still fell head over heels for you," I admitted.

Bella blushed and smiled broadly. She looked happy, then thoughtful. Finally, she spoke. "I guess it's obvious how I feel, Edward. You act as if I don't exist for six weeks, decide to talk to me one day, and I jump at the chance to go out with you. I'm pathetic," she finished with a laugh.

We both laughed.

Then we smiled stupidly at one another.

Soon our smiles faded, and I found myself getting lost in Bella's warm, brown eyes. Of its own accord, my hand reached up to cup her soft cheek. Bella stilled completely. I slowly leaned forward and gently brushed my lips against hers, once, then again. And those innocent little kisses were wonderful enough to put all my fantasies to shame. As we separated, Bella gave me a shy smile and a light blush stained her cheeks.

The monster jumped and kicked its heels together.

It had gotten strangely warmer in the meadow, so I removed my sweatshirt and threw it aside. Underneath I wore a plain black T-shirt, and I was positive that when I raised my eyes I caught Bella checking me out. That sent a different type of thrill through me. A distraction seemed in order to keep my poor mistreated dick from reacting.

"Hmm. Well, are you hungry yet? I think I'd like something to eat." _Eat her! Eat her!_ the monster chanted.

"Sure," Bella replied. "Let's see what you've got in there. And I definitely want one of your cookies." _Taunting me once again…_

I started removing items from the picnic bag and placing them on the blanket. "So, we have grapes, cheese, cute little sandwiches with the crust cut off, some salads, and of course, cookies. And I see Alice threw in some chocolate, as well." I laughed when I saw what was in the bottom of the bag. "And, because Alice will be Alice, silver cutlery and china dishes on which to dine."

Bella laughed and noted, "Alice is in my English class. She seems really nice. I'd like to get to know her better."

"I have a strange feeling you will," I replied with a chuckle. The monster, exasperated, added an insincere little laugh of its own.

We spent the next couple of hours sampling food and talking. I told Bella about my family and asked questions about hers. We discussed books, music, movies and other interests. Once again, I was impressed with the breadth of her knowledge and her insightful comments and amazed that we could so compatibly speak about such a wide variety of subjects. Eventually, Bella lay down on the blanket, soaking up the sun, and I stretched out next to her, lying on my side with my head propped on my hand. She slipped her shoes off. Even her toes were adorable. The monster made free to kiss one.

Bella lifted her face to the sun, closed her eyes, and stretched like a cat. My breath caught, and I allowed my gaze to roam liberally over her body. I had to clench my free hand, both to stop it from shaking and restrain myself from grabbing various parts of her body in a most inappropriate way. When she relaxed, I picked up her hand and softly kissed her palm, inhaling the light perfume of her wrist. Bella smiled at me, and it seemed a light tremor went through her body. Desire stirred within me yet again. It would be as easy as falling forward to cover her body with my own. The monster pushed furiously on my back.

So as not to ruin our perfect afternoon, I suggested we pack up and go home. I hadn't forgotten that Bella had plans for the evening, and that knowledge was eating away at my insides. I desperately wanted to ask about them, but held my tongue.

When we arrived back at my car I threw the picnic bag in the back seat. I stopped myself before opening the passenger door for her. Instead, I put my hands on Bella's waist and gazed into her eyes as she tilted her head towards me, expectation written all over her face.

"Just in case your dad is home when we get back, I'd like to do this here." I leaned down to kiss her, more thoroughly this time. Her response was delightfully eager. Her arms wound tightly around my neck, the momentum pushing me back against the car as she plastered her body against me. Without further encouragement, my tongue parted her lips, and a low groan escaped me as I tasted her mouth for the first time, something I had dreamed of doing for so long. I concentrated on the incredible feeling of her breasts straining against my chest, and all rational thought fled. It didn't seem that Bella was thinking any clearer, as she pressed herself closer to me and returned my kiss with even more intensity, her tongue actively meeting mine. I was already hard and for once, I didn't care. One of my hands moved to her face, then slid from her jaw to the back of her neck and plunged into her silken hair, while the other crept lower, pushing against her lower back to increase the pressure on my arousal. As Bella melted further into me, I felt her nipples harden through the thin layers of fabric separating our torsos. My hands were moving deliberately in the direction of her breasts when sanity started to return. Regardless of her initial response, if I took this too far, I could scare Bella. I broke our kiss and leaned my forehead against her shoulder, breathing heavily. Bella rested her head against my chest, and I held it there, before lifting my head to tuck hers under my chin.

Eventually she looked up at me with shining eyes. "That was…wonderful," she breathed.

The desire filling my throat prevented me from replying with anything more than a nod. I held her close in my arms for another minute, thinking about the conflicting emotions raging through me, trying to discover what it was that made me want to protect the delicate and seemingly vulnerable woman in my arms while at the same time fighting to restrain myself from throwing her on the ground and taking her like a savage. The only thing I was certain of was that I had to make her mine and mine alone. I kissed the top of her head and gently released her.

The monster swooned.


	11. Chapter 11

When we arrived back at Bella's house, I assisted her from the car. I asked her to wait a moment while I rifled through the picnic bag to retrieve a few items. I presented her with the two white roses in the now dry vase. "Please, keep these unworthy blooms as a token of my affection," I joked pretentiously.

"Also, you may as well take the rest of the cookies too. We have about a million at our house, although Emmett will make short work of them. And last but not least, the chocolate. Knowing Alice, she probably flew to Belgium to buy it, so please take it and enjoy," I finished as I handed Bella the decorative bag. Bella accepted them from me, but didn't turn to leave.

I had parked in front of her house, even though the driveway was unoccupied. I was hoping the absence of her father's police cruiser wouldn't mean there would be no parental supervision for whatever plans Bella had for this evening. My brain had started functioning more normally by this time, so I managed to formulate what I thought was a discreet method of inquiry about the subject.

"I hope I haven't made you late for your engagement this evening," I said as we loitered, the tightness unfortunately obvious in my voice.

"What engagement?" Bella asked in confusion.

Now I was starting to feel confused and foolish as well. "Uh, sitting right next to you in Biology, I could hardly help but overhear you refuse Newton's invitation to the dance. Perhaps I was mistaken, but I thought you said you had plans for this evening."

Bella laughed. "Well, actually I do have plans." _Shit._ "My plan is not to go to the dance with Mike or anyone else. It was a little white lie to avoid hurting his feelings. School dances are not my idea of a good time."

Relief washed through me, leaving me almost weak for a moment. The monster collapsed to its knees. "So you're not engaged for the evening?"

"No. I'm sorry you were misled, but that's what you get for eavesdropping." Bella chuckled, clearly not angry with me. "Would you like to come inside?"

"Ah, sure. Why not?" I followed Bella to the entryway of her house and watched as she retrieved the key and unlocked it. The monster angled for admittance, rushing through in a most impolite manner as soon as the door opened.

We walked into the kitchen, passing the monster situated at the bottom of the staircase, whining and pointing upward. "Where's your dad?" I asked. My curiosity was not entirely idle.

"He's fishing—again." Bella sighed deeply. "God, I'm tired of eating fish. But it's his favorite thing in the whole world. He usually doesn't come back until darkness forces him to," she added, looking at me out of the corner of her eye.

Was she trying to tell me that we had a couple of hours to be alone here? My dick obviously thought so. The monster was now bouncing up and down from its position by the stairs, still pointing meaningfully.

"Are you hungry?" Bella asked suddenly. "It seems like we were eating for hours, but I'm not sure either of us did more than pick at the food, as delicious as it was."

 _Oh, I'm hungry all right…_ "Uh, no, thank you," I responded.

"Perhaps you'd like to see my room then?" Bella asked casually.

_See your room? I'd like to fucking move in there…_

"Um, sure," I replied, nervousness lacing my voice. The monster gleefully raced on ahead of us.

Bella put some water in the little vase, bringing it with her, and I followed her up the stairs, reveling in the front-row-center view of her swaying ass. I could feel myself starting to perspire, although paradoxically, my mouth had gone dry. I would soon see the place where I had experienced, er, fantasized the most incredible of our sexual encounters.

I glanced around the room as we entered it. It was simple and neat. There was a desk with a few papers strewn across it and a computer so old it could really only be useful as a doorstop. A shelf contained a modest collection of books, each of them lovingly worn. A small collection of CDs was neatly stacked nearby. I tried like hell to ignore the single bed covered with a simple quilt, but my dick was performing like a divining rod drawn to water. The monster lay down on the bed, crossed its legs, and started making bedroom eyes at Bella.

As much as I wanted to be here with Bella, I was beginning to think it would be a good idea to get out of Dodge. The indicator on the danger meter was wavering between "loss-of-control" and "probable humiliation." Bella perched on the edge of the bed, and I turned to face her. I gazed down at her for a moment, my hands resting on my hips, trying unsuccessfully to ignore the vantage point I had with respect to her cleavage. The need to play pocket pool was intensifying as my jeans were becoming increasingly more uncomfortable by the moment.

"Well, it's not much, but its home." She gestured towards the room.

I tore my eyes from her body and attempted to make conversation. "Do you still miss your friends in Phoenix?" I knew the answer I wanted to hear.

Bella looked down. "I didn't really have many friends in Phoenix. My mom was my closest friend. How freaky is that?"

Something in her voice tugged at my heart. I found myself sitting on the bed next to her before I realized I had moved. "I'm shocked. There are plenty of…people here vying for your…company." _All vile, horny dickfaces who just want to get in your pants._ The monster started counting them off on its fingers.

"Yes. I don't really understand why that is," Bella responded with sincerity. "I've been asked out on more dates since I arrived in Forks than in my whole life before this put together." She shook her head in disbelief.

Some of this was starting to sink in. "Are you saying you've never had a boyfriend before now?" I asked, incredulous. "The guys in Phoenix must be idiots." The monster's eyebrows rose to the ceiling.

Bella smiled shyly as she turned sideways to look at me. "Are you saying I now have a boyfriend?" The monster nodded emphatically.

I continued to struggle between fear of touching Bella and an overwhelming desire for contact. I compromised and took one of her hands in mine. "I would very much like to be able to say that. But only you can give me permission to do so." I held my breath while the monster, overdramatic as usual, lowered itself to one knee.

"I would like that too," Bella said softly.

Happiness flooded me. A moment like this couldn't go uncelebrated. As I leaned in to kiss Bella, she eagerly met me half way. She wound her arms around my neck and buried her hands in my hair. This time it was her tongue that found mine. She tasted wonderful. I fucking lost it.

My arms circled her body, and I leaned back on the bed, dragging Bella half on top of me. I grabbed a handful of her hair to keep her mouth locked to mine. My other hand liberally roamed up and down her body, tracing the line of her ribs and skimming over the side of her breast. The temptation to feel that supple flesh filling my hand was becoming overwhelming. Resisting for the moment, I temporarily moved my hand to the back of Bella's thigh and pulled her upper leg across my body.

I wanted—needed—to be on top of Bella, and there was just enough room on the bed to roll us over. I was now lying between her parted legs, and I felt like I had died and gone to heaven. I retook possession of her mouth with a hungry groan and kissed her fiercely, my tongue sparring with hers. My breathing was becoming harsh and labored as I luxuriated in the feel of her soft curves captured against the hardness of my body.

Bella's small cries of pleasure only threw fuel on the flames. I slid my lips to her neck and planted teasing kisses there while hoarsely whispering her name against her skin. I viciously ignored the small voice that began sounding in my head. It kept telling me to stop, that this was wrong, that Bella was innocent and this shouldn't happen in this way. But the monster had taken control, and its roar of triumph in my ears drowned out the words of reason.

Bella was just so responsive. She met my kisses with equal fervor. Her hands roamed my body at will, eventually pausing to pull my T-shirt from the back of my jeans, gaining access to the bare skin of my back. Her explorations drove me crazy. And when my hips began instinctively thrusting into her center, she whimpered in delight and arched against me. My pulsing cock was so hard that my need for release was becoming a torment.

I continued to trail kisses and nibbles along her neck, stopping at the juncture of her shoulder to press my teeth into the sensitive flesh. A tremor ran through her body and she moaned loudly. I pulled the strap of her camisole down and my mouth caressed its way across her shoulder. At the monster's urging, my attention went lower still, heading for the swell of her breast, while my hand slowly approached the same goal from the other direction. And then disaster struck…

"Bells, I'm home," came an unwelcome cry that somehow penetrated my lust-fogged brain. I froze, still panting wildly.

"It's my father," Bella whispered breathlessly.

Oh fuck. _Ohfuckohfuckohfuck_. The monster, all bravado instantly gone, began cowering.

"What should we do?" I whispered back, feeling completely spineless. I was willing to head downstairs and face the music, but this had to be Bella's call.

"Just stay quiet for a minute." Bella seemed, I noted, strangely calm under the circumstances. She rose from the bed and yelled downstairs, "I'm just changing, Dad. I'll be right down."

Bella grabbed the white hoodie that was lying on the end of her bed and put it on. She turned to me with a rueful look on her face. "I'm going to have to go downstairs for a while and get my dad some dinner. It won't take long. Just stay here, but try not to move around too much."

"But–" I began in an urgent whisper.

Bella walked around to where I was sitting on the bed and gave me a quick kiss. "Don't worry. Just let me handle this." She appeared entirely at ease.

I nodded, affecting a calm demeanor as well until she left the room. Then I panicked. _Shitshitshiiiit! Why did I have to fall in love with a girl whose father carries a gun?_ The monster donned a flak vest.

I very slowly and quietly moved to the window to assess my chances of climbing or jumping down. It was higher than I had thought it would be. I had a quick vision of myself lying on the front lawn, writhing in agony with two broken legs. No escape there. I moved carefully back over to the bed, this time sitting on the side closest to the closet—just in case. I wondered what was going on downstairs. I could hear the two of them talking, but couldn't make out any words.

Eventually, as nothing more occurred, I really did calm down. There didn't seem to be any immediate danger. Realization of my condition now sunk in. The unexpected and instantaneous…deflation of my erection had left my balls aching like mad. Fuck, I _really_ needed to get home and get some…satisfaction. How long would I be imprisoned here? I tried to turn my mind to other thoughts, pointedly ignoring the monster's suggestion that I dig through Bella's underwear drawer.

Things between Bella and I had gotten out of control too fast. Christ, I didn't even have a condom with me—what was I thinking? _With_ what was I thinking? Regardless of her…enthusiasm, it wasn't right. This wasn't the way I wanted it to be. When… if we made love, I wanted everything to be perfect. She was way too special for a hasty and awkward shag. I mean, for the first time.

I swore to myself that I would not let that happen again. I _would_ remain in control at all times, and if I was fortunate enough to make love to Bella, it would only be under ideal conditions, preferably in some excruciatingly romantic setting when we were both ready and prepared. And clearly I wasn't. I hadn't been making love to her—I'd been taking possession of her—more concerned about slaking my lust than bringing pleasure to Bella. I felt nothing but shame. Oh, and that whole achy thing with my balls.

The monster pouted like a two year old.

I about jumped out of my skin when Bella re-entered the bedroom. She smiled at me and all my anxiety evaporated. I gave her a questioning look.

"Charlie's eaten his dinner and has now settled himself in front of the TV, watching the game," she whispered.

"So, what's the plan—any chance of escape? Shall I start digging a tunnel?" _Did he at least unload his pistol?_

Bella chuckled softly and then turned serious. "I'm so sorry, Edward. This is entirely my fault. He's never come home from a fishing trip before dark in the past." She shook her head in dismay. "I could really care less what Charlie does to me; he can ground me forever. But it will make things difficult for us going forward if he starts off by hating you."

"Hey, we're in this together, Bella. Please don't blame yourself. Just tell me what you want me to do." _And make it quick because I'm literally dying for a wank…_

"I think it would be best if we just stayed in my room until Charlie goes to sleep. He usually goes to bed pretty early when he’s been fishing all day. Once he starts snoring, you could drive a truck through the house and he wouldn't wake up. Then you can sneak out."

"Bella, what about my car? It's parked right in front of your house." It didn't seem likely to me that a cop wouldn't notice a strange vehicle outside of his home.

"Oh, I already took care of that. I told Charlie that you and I had gone out this afternoon, but that your sister Alice needed you to go somewhere with her, and she was in a hurry so she picked you up here because it was on the way," Bella explained.

The monster gave Bella a "thumbs up."

"Did he buy it?" I asked dubiously.

"When it comes to Charlie, less is always more. He generally accepts any reasonable explanation at face value. In other words, he's totally in denial," Bella admitted. She must have anticipated my next question. "Don't worry. He never enters my bedroom. I think he's afraid he might come in at the wrong moment."

I shrugged. I really had to just follow her advice in this matter. I hoped like hell Bella was right.

"So, I'm going to go take a shower and get ready for bed, then say good night to Charlie. I'll tell him I'm going to read in my room until I get sleepy. Then, we just have to wait it out."

I fought to suppress a groan. It looked like I would be here for another few hours. The monster grabbed its balls and mewled piteously.

Bella picked up a few things and left the room. Shortly after that, I heard the shower running. Dear God, this was pure torture!

Bella was just a few feet away from me, completely naked, water running in rivulets down the perfect curves of her body. Just the thought of it was making me so… thirsty. Try as I might, and I tried mightily, I could not prevent the images from invading my thoughts. Bella, standing in the shower, her arms lifted above her head to shampoo her hair, her breasts invitingly thrusting outward as she arched under the streaming water. Bella soaping up her body, her nipples hard and erect, her hand reaching down to tend to the soft folds of her feminine flesh. Bella bending over to pick up the shower gel from the edge of the tub, her back invitingly bowed in supplication.

 _Fuck!_ I was hard again. Once more I had to resist the violent urge to relieve my suffering with the image of being found dead with my dick in my hand. Only this time, it would be Charlie's gun that did the job. I'm sure the Chief of Police would have no trouble justifying the shooting of the strange perverted boy inexplicably found exposing himself in his daughter's bedroom.

I should have known that the agony would get worse. Shortly after the shower turned off— _thank you God—_ Bella returned to her room. I ran a nervous hand through my hair, willing my erection to dissipate. Then Bella removed her bathrobe.

Okay, so there was nothing inherently sexy about her sleep wear. She wore a pair of cotton sleep pants and a tank top. But she still looked incredibly alluring in them. The pants were those low-rise type and they seemed oddly tight fitting for pajamas. An enticing sliver of Bella's stomach was left exposed. And I was pretty damn sure she wasn't wearing a bra, but then I guess it wouldn't be too comfortable to sleep in one. The idea of her breasts, unconfined and vulnerable, was making me dizzy with desire.

Bella came and sat beside me on the bed, and I mean right beside me. I could feel the warmth radiating off of her body. That must have been the reason I started sweating again. The monster theatrically wiped its brow.

In view of my earlier resolution, I promised myself I wouldn't touch her again. I mean with my hands. But I couldn't resist nuzzling her neck a bit, inhaling her fresh, delicious scent, peppering a kiss or two along her jaw and up to her ear. Bella shivered with delight, and I drew back from temptation.

"That felt nice," Bella whispered dreamily.

"I think I should stop now, Bella. You're far too tantalizing."

Bella rolled her eyes. The monster did too.

"I'm sorry about earlier. I shouldn't have…attacked you like that. It won't happen again," I promised. The monster scowled at me.

"Don't apologize. I hardly think you're to blame, Edward," Bella said generously. "I'm pretty sure I was an active participant." She yawned suddenly.

"You're tired," I concluded. "Why don't you get into bed?" _And pull the covers up over those luscious breasts…_

I stood so Bella could ease down the blanket, watching her climb into bed. The monster snuggled up next to her. I perched, once again on the side of the bed closest to the closet.

"Thank you for today. This was so much better than a school dance," Bella stated. She grabbed one of my hands and started stroking my fingers with one of hers. It was my turn to shiver.

I babbled nervously. "I can't tell you how jealous I was of Newton when he asked you out. I thought I might punch him. At the time, I wasn't even sure why I felt so enraged. It took me a while to figure it out. Jealousy was something I had only read about in books before now. It took me completely by surprise when I actually experienced it myself," I confessed.

"You had nothing to feel jealous about. I've never been interested in Mike. I think he's a nice guy but I find his persistence to be…tedious." I lifted Bella's hand and kissed her palm. The monster laid one on her elbow.

Bella yawned again. "Why don't you get some sleep, sweetheart," I suggested.

She smiled at the endearment. "That's not fair, for me to sleep while you're sitting here, trapped in my room."

"Well, life's not fair," I retorted cleverly. "You sleep—it won't be much longer I'm sure. Then I'll sneak out and everything will be fine." _And hopefully this horror show of sexual torture will end…_

Bella was asleep within a few minutes. She looked like an angel. I alternated between gazing at her face and checking the clock every five minutes.

A short time later, Bella spoke my name aloud. I realized that she was talking in her sleep. God, could she be any more adorable? And apparently she was dreaming about me. My heart took flight. She was so sweet!

Or maybe not. Just when I thought I'd already survived the ninth circle of hell, Bella spoke again.

"Ohhh, Edward," Bella softly moaned. _What the fuck?_

More words emerged. _Wait, did she just say, "Edward, touch me?" No, I must be imagining things._

Bella stirred restlessly, speaking a string of words this time. The only ones that were clearly intelligible were "Edward" and "take me." _Please tell me this isn't happening…_

I had to conclude that Bella was dreaming about having sex with me. The way she was moaning and tossing on the bed seemed to reinforce that belief. Ah hell no, Bella's hand did not just caress her own breast. That had to have been a complete accident. _Feel her up!_ cried the monster.

A whimper escaped me. My cock stiffened again—my umpteenth erection of the day. I had to get the fuck out of here, before I violated every moral principle I'd ever known. Would this nightmare of pain and frustration never end?

I edged quietly towards the open closet when I heard footsteps on the stairs. The next noises came from the bathroom. It looked like Charlie was finally calling it a night. I waited on pins and needles to see if I would need to dive for cover. Eventually, the sounds of movement ceased. And Bella was right—within a short time I heard snores loud enough to shake the rafters. I waited a few more minutes, staring at my angel as she slept peacefully once more. After a quick kiss on her forehead, I silently exited the room. I moved carefully down the stairs and made my prison break.

As I drove home, I became certain of three things. I wanted Bella Swan more than my next breath. To some degree, and I didn't know how much, Bella Swan wanted me. And when I got home, I was going to beat off until I passed out.


	12. Chapter 12

Alice and Esme practically jumped me when I got home from Bella's. They were both eager to know how the day had gone. They dragged me into the kitchen for the interrogation.

"Come on, Edward, spill," Alice demanded. Esme looked just as eager for details.

"Everything went great. Thanks so much for your help. You two did a really nice job—Bella was impressed," I answered truthfully.

"And?" Alice prompted further.

"And your prediction was entirely correct, Alice. Bella is now my girlfriend." The monster proudly preened.

That set off both Alice and Esme squealing with delight. "When will we get to meet her, Edward?" Esme inquired eagerly.

"Tomorrow perhaps. I didn't speak with Bella about it, but I thought I might bring her here to introduce you, if she's available."

That triggered additional squeals, a bit more subdued this time. Esme's excited reaction was a bit of a surprise. What was that all about?

"Now, I'm just going to take care of the picnic residue and get ready for bed. I'm wiped out," I lied through my teeth. I could hear the shower bellowing my name.

"I'll get it," Esme volunteered. "Go get some rest."

"Thank you Esme," I responded gratefully. I gave both Alice and Esme a kiss on the cheek before exiting. Then I took the stairs two at a time, beginning to unbutton my shirt on the second flight.

It was ironic that it was just this morning when the thought of any further…usage made me cringe. The ache in my balls now far outweighed any fear of…chafing. After entering the shower, I eagerly soaped myself up.

There were so many new sensations and images to stoke the flames of my imagination. All I had to do was picture myself bending Bella over the back of the couch, lifting the hem of that frothy white skirt, gently sliding one hand down the back of her lacy blue panties while the other reached around to roughly knead the soft flesh of her breast, and spunk was flying after just a few strokes. _Fuck but that felt good._ I leaned against the shower wall, taking a minute to recover before the inevitable occurred, a second, almost instantaneous erection. Let's see—where would I go next?

Ooh, I know—lying on top of Bella on her bed, only with no Charlie to interrupt us. This time my mouth successfully captured her nipple, my tongue and teeth inflicting delightful torment while my hand plumped and squeezed that tantalizing mound. Here in Edward's fantasyland, it was easy enough to make our jeans disappear, so that my hand stroking my cock suddenly became the clenching of Bella's wet, warm, oh so tight inner walls as I rode her hard. I groaned loudly with my second release.

My legs were shaking, so I passed on a threepeat, at least for now. I finished my shower and dressed for bed. Now that blood actually seemed to be circulating to my brain again, it was time to think. All in all, I had made great progress with Bella today. But the control issue was still obviously a real problem, one that no amount of imaginary sex seemed to eliminate. Of course, I didn't know how much worse it would be without the pre-date wanking. And frankly, I wasn't prepared to find out.

The monster sighed loudly in relief.

I needed advice from someone with experience. I had three choices. First, there was Carlisle. For once in my life though, I didn't think I'd be all that comfortable discussing the subject with him. For one thing, it'd been a while since he was a teenager. And for another thing, he was just so…rational. I actually had trouble picturing him ever struggling with the same problem. The monster nodded thoughtfully.

That left my brothers. Jasper would have been my first choice, as he was a very understanding person, but I wasn't actually sure that he and Alice were having sex. If they were, they were being extremely discreet about it. But the bigger problem was that Alice and I were very close. I really couldn't imagine discussing their sex life with Jasper, even by implication.

So, my last choice was Emmett. I was pretty darn sure that he and Rosalie were doing the deed, and since Rose and I weren't that close, I didn't feel the same degree of reluctance in talking to him. Emmett wasn't the most sensitive guy in the world, but he and I got along pretty well. So, Emmett it was. I'd have to try and get with him in the morning. That resolved, I let myself drift off to sleep.

The second thing I did after I awoke in the morning was telephone Bella. My heart did a little flip when I heard her voice. The monster shamelessly eavesdropped on our conversation.

"Good morning, Bella," I said softly.

"Good morning, Edward," she replied in a sultry tone. _Christ, please tell me I wasn't getting another hard on just from hearing her voice?_

"I was wondering if you were free today," I asked hopefully.

"I believe I am," Bella responded coyly. "What did you have in mind?"

 _Oh, I don't know. Sucking on your clit until you come in my mouth?_ "I thought you might like to see where I live and meet my family today."

"Okay, that sounds nice," she agreed without hesitation.

I told Bella I would pick her up at one. We talked for a few more minutes before ending the conversation. I couldn't wait to see her again. The monster began primping in front of the mirror.

I was fortunate to find Emmett alone in his room. He looked surprised when I knocked and entered at his leave. I wasn't known in my family for seeking private interviews.

"What up, bro?" Emmett asked, curiosity evident in his face.

"Emmett, I'd like to speak with you—get your advice about something," I responded nervously.

"Sure thing. How can I help?"

"Well, first of all, it's extremely personal, so I would like you to promise that you won't tell anybody, or even hint to anybody, or ever tease me about it, or do any of the other things you do when you're trying to be annoying," I demanded.

"And why should I agree to that? What's in it for me?" Typical Emmett. The monster exhaled with impatience.

"You should agree to it because you're my big brother, and it is universally acknowledged that big brothers have a moral obligation to help their little brothers with things like this. And secondly, if you ever break your promise, I'll tell Rose about your stash of porn," I warned.

That was enough for Emmett. Getting Rose pissed at him would do it every time. Besides, he already smelled a conversation about sex coming up and wasn't about to miss the chance of showing off his superior knowledge.

"All right, okay. You don't have to threaten me. I won't tell and I won't tease. Now, what can I do you for?" Emmett asked again.

"Well, I have a girlfriend," I announced with some small measure of pride. "Bella Swan—do you know who she is?"

Emmett nodded and made a leering face. The monster snickered.

"And the problem is?" Emmett prompted.

"Um, I'm having some…control issues," I admitted, embarrassment coloring my face.

"More specifics," Emmett demanded.

"I find it difficult to…I mean, it seems that I'm… Christ, it's like I'm always hard around her," I finally stammered out, plopping down on the floor and leaning against the door. "All she has to do is smile practically and I'm sporting wood. It's extremely embarrassing."

Emmett shook his head. "Edward, this is a problem all guys have. You should just beat off before you see her. It'll help, I promise."

My exasperation could not be contained. "Emmett, if I beat off any more than I do now my right arm is going to be noticeably bigger than my left."

Emmett snorted with amusement. I continued. "And when she kissed me last night, I had her on her back and was trying to steal home plate before either of us knew what happened. If her father hadn't come home in time, my little swimmers would be racing upstream to spawn right now." I shook my head in disbelief at my own stupidity. The monster had a look of fond remembrance on its face.

"Her father—did he catch you?"

"I'm still alive, aren't I?" I retorted.

Emmett looked thoughtful. "Edward, how do you feel about this girl? I mean, do you just want to fuck her, or do you really like her?"

I paused before admitting, "I'm in love with her, Emmett." The monster clasped its hands and raised its eyes to the little hearts circling its head.

Emmett sighed. "If that's the case, you're not going to want to hear what I have to say."

"I do, Emmett, I really do. I need your help," I begged.

"Okay, but don't blame me if you don't like it." He paused for emphasis before announcing definitively, "If you can't control yourself, you're not ready for sex, at least not with someone you love. I mean, you don't want to behave like an animal her first time. You need to put the thought of sex out of your head—both of them—at least for now. Just take it slow, Edward. It will be worth it in the end."

_Jeez, who knew Emmett had it in him?_

I must have looked dismayed, because Emmett shrugged."I'm just sayin'." A moment later he reached into the drawer of his nightstand and took something out. He grabbed my hand and shoved half a dozen foil packages in it, explaining with a smirk, "In case you fuck up. I'm not ready to be an uncle."

I nodded. Emmett was right. I needed to stop thinking about having sex with Bella—just eliminate the idea from my mind. I mean, other than fantasy sex. Like this morning in the shower when I took Bella from behind as she leaned against the shower wall and bent over in front of me, her tight little ass just looking so sweet as I replaced my exploring fingers with my hard cock and pounded… _oh shit_.

I shook my head to dispel the image. It was time to institute phase three of the Bella Swan Resistance Plan. If I considered sex off limits, then maybe I wouldn't be obsessing about it all the time. I was determined to get control of the situation.

As I thanked Emmett and rose to leave the room, I noticed the monster was trying to kick him in the balls.

I still had a while before it would be time to pick up Bella, so I went back to my room. First, I stashed the condoms in a drawer. Then I straightened things up a bit and made my bed. After all, she would want to see my room, right? I mean, just to see how it reflected my personality. But certainly not to have sex—that was out of the question.

As I stood for a moment staring at the gold bedspread, I couldn't help imagining Bella sprawled gloriously naked on top of it, holding out her arms in invitation, wanting me as much as I… Shit, I better have another wank before I leave—just to be on the safe side. And Emmett did advise as much.

I picked up Bella precisely at one. I had been so used to not seeing the police cruiser that it took me aback to unexpectedly find it parked in her driveway. I took a minute to prepare myself to meet Chief Swan. The monster donned a bowtie.

I swallowed my nervousness while knocking on the door. Sure enough, Chief Swan, in full uniform, appeared as it opened. I did my best Eddie Haskell impression.

"Good afternoon, Chief Swan. I'm Edward Cullen, and I'm here to see Bella," I announced politely.

Charlie extended his hand and we shook. "Come in, Edward."

"It's nice to meet you, sir," I replied formally. The monster kept a wary eye on Charlie's gun.

Bella came bouncing down the stairs as I entered. She smiled shyly when she saw me, and I couldn't help but return it. She looked beautiful. She was wearing jeans and a blouse in a color I will forever mentally refer to as "corset blue." _For God's sake, not now Little Eddie!_

"Where are you two going?" Charlie asked Bella.

"Just to Edward's house," Bella responded happily. "I'm going to meet his family. Don't worry, Dad. I'll be back in time to make you dinner." She grabbed her jacket and we headed towards my car. I was hoping that Charlie was still watching as I opened the passenger door for Bella. I wanted to make sure he knew that his daughter was safe with someone as considerate as me.

I drove about a block away and pulled over suddenly, reaching to place my hand behind Bella's neck to hold her steady for a kiss. I insinuated my tongue between her lips, but managed to restrain myself from ravishing her mouth. I was breathing a little unsteadily when we broke apart. So was the monster.

"I couldn't wait a minute longer to do that," I admitted.

Bella seemed just as affected as I when she responded, "I'm glad you couldn't wait."

"You look really lovely in that blouse, Bella," I schmoozed. _And even lovelier without it, I'm betting…_

"Thank you, Edward," she responded demurely, her cheeks coloring delightfully.

My balls tightened in response. _Why did that innocent persona always get to me?_ The monster twirled its imaginary mustache with an evil leer.

I could have easily sat there and stared at her all afternoon, so I forced myself to get back to driving. I spent the rest of the drive holding Bella's hand and trying to suppress my body's reaction to being near her. Apparently, my dick didn't get the memo about not having sex with Bella any time soon. Relief hit me as I pulled into our driveway and could now look forward to the distraction my family would present.

Esme and Carlisle were conveniently hanging about in the living room when we entered. I introduced both of them to Bella. Esme greeted her warmly, looking enchanted.

"I'm happy to meet you," Bella responded. "Your home is so beautiful. I had no idea there was anything like this around Forks."

Esme basked in the glow of her favorite compliment. "We're so happy to see you, dear," she gushed.

Alice came bounding down the stairs then, towing Jasper behind her. "Hi Bella," Alice cheerfully announced. She introduced Jasper, who gave Bella a smile and a small nod, before adding, "I'm so glad you could come. I hope we have an opportunity to get to know each other better."

Bella responded softly, "I hope so too, Alice." Alice and Jasper drifted off.

"Why don't you show Bella around, Edward?" Esme suggested. The monster whistled impatiently, making obvious gestures about heading upstairs.

I noticed that Bella was focused on my piano. My eyes lit up as I identified a possible way for me to show off a bit. "Do you play?" I asked.

"Just a little. I’ve never seen such a beautiful instrument. A six foot concert grand, isn't it?"

"Yes," I remarked, surprised. "Do you want to play it?"

"I haven't touched a piano in years, but I'm tempted to try. My mom had an old upright, and she taught me to play. But I was never very good."

"Well, please give it a go, if you like. I promise not to be too critical," I added smugly as I led Bella over to the piano.

We sat together on the bench, and Bella lovingly ran her fingers across the keys. I was mesmerized, thinking of something else I'd like her fingers to lovingly stroke. Then my jaw dropped as she broke into a flawless rendition of _Clair de Lune_. The monster began slow dancing by itself.

After a few minutes, the notes trailed off. "That's all I remember," Bella said ruefully.

"That was beautiful, Bella," I said, truly impressed.

"Now you play something," Bella urged.

She had grabbed my hand when she stopped playing. When I released hers to begin one of my favorite Mozart sonatas, she left it lying casually on my leg. I tried to concentrate on the music, but it seemed, whether consciously or not, that her hand kept creeping up my leg. She made it to the middle of my thigh before I hit the first discordant note. I gave up entirely several bars later, taking her hand from my leg and saying severely, "You are no longer allowed to sit next to me when I play the piano, young lady." So much for showing off…

Bella laughed and stood, pulling me off the bench, saying, "Take me on a tour of the rest of your house." The monster raced to the staircase.

I showed Bella the downstairs recreation room first, then the rest of the ground floor. To the monster's great delight, we did eventually start up the stairs. To its consternation, however, we lingered on the second floor when I took Bella into Carlisle's office to look around. I was starting to get nervous about taking Bella to my room, but after a few minutes she looked at me expectantly.

"Well, I showed you mine. Now show me yours," she teased. The monster flipped open an imaginary trench coat and flashed Bella.

I indicated that Bella should precede me, wanting a repeat performance of watching her mesmerizing walk up stairs. Then I wondered if indulging myself this way was wise. _Remember the BSR Plan—no sex Edward!_

I pointed out the guest room down the hall before opening the door to my bedroom. When Bella saw it, she turned to me with a stunned smile on her face. "Wow, this is beautiful. You're so lucky." The monster jumped up on the bed and started patting the spot next to where it was sitting.

Bella walked over to my shelves of CDs and started perusing them. After a while, she began the same process with my book shelves. I relaxed on my couch, hands behind my head, enjoying myself immensely just by watching her. Eventually, she came and sat next to me on the couch, where the conversation naturally drifted into a lively discussion of books and music.

When our dialogue hit a lull, I found myself staring at Bella, drinking in her lovely face, losing myself in her deep brown eyes. I lifted my hand to stroke the line of her cheek. Almost without volition I found myself murmuring, "You're so beautiful, Bella."

The very next moment, Bella lifted her leg over both of mine and straddled my lap. I froze in shock. We were now sitting in the exact position we had been on that day when Bella teasingly removed her clothes and made love to me. I mean, in my head as I jerked off. My cock apparently remembered it as well.

When she leaned forward to kiss me, I responded in a restrained manner and kept my hands glued to her waist. After a few moments, Bella noticed my reticence and broke our kiss.

"Edward, what's wrong?" she asked, anxiously searching my face. The monster looked anxious too.

"I…I don't know if I can just…let go without ultimately…losing control. I'm afraid I'm going to scare you, go too far," I confessed. "I want everything to be perfect for us. I don't want us to make love just because we couldn't restrain ourselves. I want to make sure we're both ready and…and I'm just so inexperienced…" I lowered my eyes, feeling somewhat ashamed. The monster flipped me off.

"I agree with you completely. I'm not ready either. But there are a lot of steps between kissing and making love. We don't have to rush. I don't have any experience either, but it would be nice if we could learn together."

Bella picked up my hand and moved it to her breast. "For now, this is enough," she whispered before leaning in and kissing me again. This time, I returned her kiss without hesitation.

And oh my God, to have this one fantasy come true—to have her breast filling my hand as Bella's tongue roamed my mouth—was exquisite. I indulged all of my desires, kneading the soft flesh beneath the thin fabric of her blouse, my thumb scraping across the peak to coax her nipple to life. Bella moaned with pleasure, and I gave up trying to silence the animalistic sounds coming from my throat.

Surely if touching one breast was allowed, there could be no prohibition on doubling my pleasure. I slid my empty hand upwards, fondling the other soft mound in tandem, animating that peak as well. When I captured each nipple between a thumb and forefinger and gently pinched and rolled the sensitive nubs, Bella threw her head back and sobbed, "Oh, Edward."

That was enough. I knew I had to stop. My arms went around Bella's waist, and I drew her close to me. She rested her head on my chest as we both sought to bring our breathing under control. My cock was throbbing, leaking in readiness, but I didn't care. I'd fix that problem later. Repeatedly.

I tilted Bella's face towards mine to give her a gentle kiss. Her lids were still heavy with passion, and her smile was innocently seductive. I closed my eyes against further temptation.

I was content to hold Bella for a long time. She just felt so good in my arms. Eventually she lifted her head to look at the clock and groaned. "I've got to go home and make Charlie dinner," she announced with dismay.

"But I don't want to give you back," I protested, tightening my hold on her body.

Bella gave me another quick kiss before lifting herself off my lap. I stood and gave her a better kiss, savoring her taste against my tongue and the feeling of her body aligned with mine. I raised my head, smiled at her, and said, "Okay, love, let's get you home."

I dropped Bella off at her house and let her know I'd pick her up for school in the morning. On the way home, I reflected on our new understanding. It was perfect, really, and sweet in a way. Bella and I would learn about physical love together, slowly, one step at a time, over a period of weeks or more likely months, I suppose. So basically, pretty much all that time, either my dick would be hard enough to hammer nails or my balls would be aching uncontrollably. _Christ, could I be any more masochistic?_

The monster pointed its finger at its head and pulled the trigger.


	13. Chapter 13

Disappointment was waiting for me when I got home. I had planned on making a beeline for my bedroom, seeking to relive and relieve. I finally knew what real breasts felt like, well at least breasts covered with two layers of cloth, thin though it might be. I really wanted to exploit my recent experience, savor it with a celebratory wank. Unfortunately, I managed to walk in the door just as Esme was serving Sunday dinner, a long drawn out affair at our house. I sighed in frustration and joined the family at the dining room table. The monster rubbed itself against the table leg.

I was further dismayed when Bella became a subject of discussion at dinner.

"Edward, I really like Bella. She's so sweet," Esme announced.

"Yes, I think so," I agreed.

"And so pretty too," Esme added.

"Next time, I want to spend some time with Bella. Quit hogging her, Edward," Alice demanded. _Over my dead fucking body…_

Emmett kept his mouth shut, but his promise of this morning didn't stop him from sending me leering looks and snickering from time to time. Rosalie just rolled her eyes whenever Bella's name was mentioned. After several minutes, I managed to change the subject. I didn't like my relationship with Bella being fodder for the family. And I really needed to keep her off my mind at the dinner table. It would be extremely embarrassing if I couldn't leave my chair when the meal was over.

When it was, I skipped the apple pie and excused myself from the table. I had my own thoughts about dessert. I hurried to my room and got ready for bed.

I didn't feel the same sense of urgency I had felt so often lately, so I took my time, prolonging the experience. I generously lubed my hand and began casually stroking myself, remembering the weight of Bella's breasts in my hands, how it felt to find her nipples under the fabric and tease them to life, the exquisite sounds of pleasure she had made. With a wave of my magic wanking wand, our clothes disappeared, and I was now fondling her naked breasts as Bella slowly rode my cock. I let her set our pace, and it was exquisite as she slowly moved herself up and down my engorged length, clenching her inner muscles around me. She finally had enough of teasing me and began driving harder and faster, relentlessly massaging my cock. The violence of my orgasm shook, me and I moaned loudly in release. _God how I love that woman…_

I couldn't wait to see Bella in the morning. I arrived a few minutes early and parked in the thankfully empty driveway. I approached the door, intending to make good use of the short time we had to be alone. The monster eagerly followed.

Bella apparently had the same idea, because when she opened the door she took my hand and dragged me inside the house. I leaned her against the wall and gazed spellbound into her lovely eyes. My hands trailed slowly from her shoulders down her arms as I nuzzled her neck and inhaled deeply, re-familiarizing myself with her scent. I clasped her waist and kissed her with slow intensity, allowing my hands to slide upward and cup her captivating breasts. I squeezed gently while my tongue explored her mouth.

When I released her, she smiled shakily and breathed, "Well, good morning to you too." I grinned like the village idiot.

 _Let's skip class and fuck!_ screamed the monster.

We reluctantly left for school. I dropped Bella off at her classroom with another meaningful kiss. I had never been a big proponent of public displays of affection, but I wanted everyone to know my claim on her now—every guy that is, many of whom had been after my lust magnet.

 _Mine! All mine!_ shouted the monster.

We met up again to walk to lunch, and that began a habit of sitting and eating with my siblings. Alice and Bella were starting to get closer, and that was fine with me. Upon reflection, it had occurred to me that should they become friends…well, girls did like sleepovers, didn't they? I was content to just sit and watch her during our lunch break like a love struck fool in spite of Rosalie's obvious contempt.

I couldn't help being somewhat more demonstrative with my affection in Biology. I still considered Newton one of my biggest rivals, in spite of Bella's assertion that she never liked him. It must have been the way he followed her every move with pathetic puppy dog eyes. I marked my territory as much as possible, touching Bella in an affectionate and lingering manner with even the measliest excuse for contact. There were times I simply could not resist looking Newton's way to see the sour expression on his face. The monster, crude as always, pissed on Newton's leg.

Now that Bella's breasts were fair game, I considered it open season whenever I was alone with her. Really, they were so wonderful, so amazing, I couldn't understand how girls could seem to ignore even having them. Did they not understand how incredible they were—how much fun it was to play with them? God knows I couldn't keep my hands off Bella's breasts. She could probably get away without wearing a bra, I was holding them so much of the time.

After school, I would accompany Bella home and we would take up residence on the sofa. That began our almost daily pattern of intense make-out sessions on her couch. Usually I would be on top, hungrily kissing her mouth, her neck, and any other unclothed part of her body I could find. I promised myself I wouldn't push it, that I would let Bella set the boundaries. I mean, the obvious ones. But I couldn't prevent myself from employing a little inductive logic. If touching her clothed breasts with my hands was allowed, then lowering my mouth to her nipple and using my teeth to gently tease it through her shirt surely must be permissible. And that certainly must mean that touching her anywhere on her clothed body must also be acceptable. I tested the latter premise on the occasions when Bella lay on top of me, groping the luscious curves of her ass while I pressed her into my erection.

I made sure I left before Charlie got home, seeing as at the end of these sessions my cock would be so big and hard I could knock over buildings with it, and I'd look like the absolute epitome of sexual frustration—panting hard, face flushed, mussed hair, hands trembling, and wild eyes glazed over with lust. If I timed it right, I could get to my bathroom before my balls actually turned a lovely shade of corset blue. The monster moaned woefully all the way home.

In order to encourage Alice's and Bella's friendship, I soon began bringing Alice with me once a week or so. We would sit at the table and do homework together, sometimes helping Bella make dinner. I made sure on these occasions that we were still there when Charlie got home, so he would understand the girls were friends. Although I was loath to give up any of our alone time together, it seemed a worthwhile investment. The monster began to despise Alice.

I was excited for Friday night, when Bella agreed to come over and watch movies at my house. My siblings and I sat in the recreation room watching the television. I mean, they watched it while I gawked at Bella and shifted around trying to keep my jeans from becoming too uncomfortable. By the time the first movie ended, I'd had enough. I took Bella by the hand and led her to my bedroom. The monster eagerly sped on ahead of us, ushering us through the door with a welcoming gesture.

One great thing about my family is that privacy is very important to them, and we all go to great lengths to respect that. So someone could have shot a canon off in my room and no one would have disturbed us, a good thing considering how often I had…shot my cannon off in it. I locked the door as an added precaution though. Then I hesitated, wondering if I had made a mistake. That thought lasted almost an entire second. Before I could take a seat on the sofa and put myself out of harm's way, Bella took my hand and led me to the bed.

She sat on the edge and pulled my face down to hers. As I returned her kiss, my hands began exploring the lush contours of her body. She broke our kiss in order to scoot back on the bed and pull me on top of her.

The first thought that occurred to me was that I could happily spend every moment of forever kissing Bella. I mean, to begin with. Our kisses started slowly but inevitably became more intense as my control faltered. With gentle sucking and biting motions, I made my way from her earlobe down the curve of her neck. When my mouth descended to her breast and I raked my teeth across its luscious peak, Bella's hands began pushing on my chest.

"Did I do something wrong?" I asked with concern.

"No, not at all. As a matter of fact, you're driving me crazy," she admitted. I couldn't help the small eruption of male pride that arose in me at hearing that. The monster's head grew two sizes.

"Now it's my turn," she continued. Bella began unbuttoning my shirt, caressing my skin as she exposed it. My breathing accelerated.

When she finished with the final button, I sat up and removed my shirt. Bella looked at me like I was an ice cream sundae, even licking her lips. A thrill jolted me, seeing this evidence that she desired me as well.

 _Off with her shirt!_ commanded the monster.

Bella sat up and began running her exquisite hands across my shoulders and chest, down my arms. It felt wonderful to be touched this way. She lightly ran her fingernails across one nipple, and I hissed as a tingle of pleasure washed through me. The monster pinched its own nipple curiously.

I inhaled sharply when Bella's hands left my body and began unbuttoning her blouse. Holy shit! _Hooooly shit!_ I was paralyzed, staring with fascination as one button after another was slowly unfastened. There was a God after all! Bella removed her blouse and was sitting before me in that fucking blue bra, watching me expectantly. Nothing in all of my fantasies had prepared me for the true wonder of this moment. The monster gave Bella a round of applause.

I reached out a hand and gently touched Bella's collarbone with my fingertips, sweeping from one side to the other before letting them trail lightly down towards the swell of her breast. Her skin was so soft and smooth. Except for the quick rise and fall of her chest, Bella didn't move.

I put my palms on either side of Bella's face and kissed her softly. My hands slid down to her shoulders and moved purposefully, slipping the straps of her bra onto her arms. My lips traveled to Bella's neck, and I kissed and nibbled my way downward as she shivered in my arms. Holding my breath, I reached for the clasp on Bella's bra and managed to unhook it with a small but determined effort during which, thankfully, neither of us actually got hurt.

I removed the lacy slip of fabric and let it fall onto the floor. At the angle we were sitting, I couldn't hold Bella as closely as I desired, but at that particular moment I wanted to see more than I wanted to touch. I pulled back and was far too entranced to feel embarrassed by the way my eyes were glued to her body. I was looking at Bella's naked breasts, and oh my God, they were the most perfect sight I'd ever seen. They were pale and full and round and tipped by luscious pink nipples that looked to my eyes as though they were aching for attention. And so I sought to address that need.

I reached out a hand and gently cupped one breast, lightly squeezing that glorious mound. Bella's head fell backward, and her eyes closed in pleasure. I had to have more. I reached out with my spare hand to enclose her other breast and began kneading both more forcefully. I felt as if I could have quite happily continued doing this for hours—days even. But there was one more thing I wanted to try.

I slowly lowered my head and fastened my mouth around one of Bella's adorable nipples. As I suckled, I circled my tongue around the sensitive nub, relishing each new sensation. Bella finally moved, raising one hand to the back of my head, tangling her fingers in my hair as if to keep me there forever, illustrating the force of her response more than words ever could. I could hear her breathing become more ragged and small indistinguishable sounds of pleasure escaping her.

When I pulled away I was breathing like I'd just run the Kentucky Derby—in good time—and I'm pretty sure my cock was about the same size as the last winner's. _Mount her!_ demanded the monster.

With a loud groan, I pushed Bella backwards onto the bed and covered her body with my own, reveling in the feel of her naked skin against mine. I used one knee to spread her legs wider so I could create friction between the neediest parts of our bodies. My hands caressed every inch of bare skin I could reach, moving feverishly up and down her back and sides and returning repeatedly to fondle her breasts.

"God, Bella," I gasped between kisses and licks and moans. "You're so beautiful—so wonderful." Bella arched sharply and softly cried my name when my mouth returned to her nipple, and I was stunned by the wave of need that hit me at giving her such obvious pleasure.

It wasn't until I cracked open an eye and saw the monster, opening the nightstand drawer and waving a condom at me, that reason began to return. Christ, I had done it again. I had completely lost control and made a total mockery of the BSR Plan. _Shit._

I slowed our pace, planting gentle kisses on Bella's face, along her jaw, on her eyelids. When I pulled back, I couldn't help sliding my hand down her torso one last time, lingering for a moment on her breast. Bella looked up at me with shining eyes and gently stroked my cheek.

I kicked the monster when I found him shamelessly dry humping her shin.

"I'd better get you home, sweetheart," I reluctantly admitted. The idea of keeping Bella in my bed forever was more tempting than I could possibly say.

"Yes, it's time," Bella agreed.

After one last kiss, I grudgingly handed Bella her clothes, wishing I could keep that blue bra as a trophy. I took a final look before she covered herself. God, I was going to miss those breasts until the next time.

When we arrived at Bella's house, I walked her to her door and held her for a moment. "Bella, I want to make sure . . . that is, I've never quite told you…" I fumbled for words.

"What is it?" she asked curiously.

I took a deep breath and steeled myself. "I love you, Bella. You're my whole world now."

"Oh, Edward," she whispered breathily as her arms tightened around my neck. "Sometimes I think this is too wonderful to be true."

And that was enough. I didn't need to hear the words back. In fact, I would rather not have her say them in response to my own declaration. But I needed her to know how I felt and not when I was caught in the throes of passion. I didn't know a lot about girls, but I was pretty sure announcing you were in love with someone while actively trying to get into her pants was not recommended behavior.

The monster closed its eyes and smiled dreamily.

When I returned home, it was time for another urgent wank with visions of bare breasts flying at my face. I practically cried with relief when my spunk charged out onto the shower wall. But the release didn't really make me feel better.

In spite of my convictions, things were moving too fast between Bella and me. The BSR Plan was in shambles. At this rate we'd be having sex in another week or two, and I was no more ready now than I was last week.

There had been times tonight when I behaved like an animal. And even if Bella didn't seem to mind, and had, rather, appeared to enjoy it, that didn't make it right. I could easily envision a future where we'd have sex and it would be all over but the mopping up in a matter of moments. In fact, that scenario seemed the most likely one right now. I actually shuddered in horror. What a memorable experience that would be for the love of my life. And Jesus, how humiliating… The monster furrowed its brow in sympathetic worry.

There was an obvious dilemma here. I needed to be able to control myself around Bella. Clearly, the easiest way to do that was to avoid all but the most innocent kind of physical contact with her. At the same time, and maybe I was just kidding myself here, in all honesty I didn't see how lack of physical contact would help me learn control. If I stuck with chaste kisses for a year, would I be in any better position at the end of that time? Perhaps this was just one of those instances where you had to face your fears to overcome them—become desensitized, as it were.

We would go no further than we had tonight for a long time, I promised myself. In fact, one step back was probably a good idea. We obviously hadn't spent enough time at that stage—so no more bare torsos for a while. Naked breasts were just too wonderful, too enticing, too…intoxicating. _Christ, I'm getting hard again…_

I ignored my dick and allowed myself to drift off to sleep. As if to prove my point about control issues, I woke up in a wet spot—again. _Fuck!_ Well, at least this was the day we changed the sheets so no one would wonder why I stripped my bed.

After finishing my morning…routine, I called Bella. I was disappointed that she was tied up doing chores and grocery shopping today. It was appalling, really, how Charlie allowed her to be his cook and housekeeper. Bella deserved so much more than that—she deserved to be taken care of herself. I was stunned at the wave of desire I felt that I be the one to take care of her. I tried to re-focus my thoughts on the remainder of our conversation.

"Well, what about tonight? Are you free?"

"Of course," she responded.

"What would you like to do? Do you want to go out somewhere?" I inquired hopefully. _Please say yes…_

"I'd rather just hang out at your house again, if that's all right."

"Well, if that's what you want to do… I'll pick you up at seven." She was going to test my mettle, no question about it. I would just need to be strong. And I really did try.

But somehow, that night we ended up back in my bedroom. Before you could say "fuck the BSR Plan" I was lying on top of Bella, kissing her wildly, rhythmically humping against her and frantically groping everywhere my hands could reach. She unbuttoned my shirt, and I let her. I mean, as long as I didn't actually remove it, I wasn't breaking the rules, was I? And I strangely managed to temporarily convince myself that shifting the neckline of her V-neck T-shirt off of her shoulder and down her arm so that I could then push the cup of her bra aside and feast like a starving man on her nipple was a huge improvement on my behavior of the night before. And in truth, neither of our torsos _was_ actually bare…

Sunday afternoon became even more of a trial, as Bella wore under her open shirt a camisole with some sort of support system that purportedly eliminated the need for an actual bra, held up by these delicate little straps that would not have stayed on her shoulders even with the aid of super glue. Why was she making this so easy…and by that I mean _difficult_ , for me? Once again I found myself fulfilling one of my favorite fantasies as Bella straddled my waist, rubbing herself against my rigid length while leaning towards me so that her breasts hovered over my face. Only this time as I caressed and fondled and kneaded and tasted and licked and suckled, her desperate moans of pleasure and the increased pressure on my cock were real, undermining my control like nothing else. After returning from dropping Bella off for the night, I sprinted to my bathroom. I couldn't even wait to get into the shower, just ripping off my T-shirt so I didn't get any on me and giving myself a few hard, quick strokes to repair the damage. I wondered for a moment afterwards whether Bella's nipples were as sore as my cock.

Sunday night I had another stern talk with the monster. I needed to re-commit to the BSR Plan. Okay, I admit it—going backwards was not an option. I couldn't give up her bare breasts—they were the most important thing to me now. I mean, other than Bella…er, all of her, that is. So that just wasn't going to happen. But still, things didn't have to go any further for quite some time. I could do this! I was almost thankful that Monday had rolled around and opportunities to…expand our boundaries would be more limited.

I had to acknowledge that there were infinitely worse problems to have. I had a beautiful, loving girlfriend with the most perfect breasts in the world, and she let me touch them and kiss them whenever I wanted—encouraged it even. So all in all, things were pretty fucking wonderful.

Or at least I thought they were. Looking back on it now, I wonder if the sense of unease I remember from that day was real. Things were about to change and not for the better. We were all sitting together at lunch when Alice asked the most innocent question: "So, have you heard about the new student—that guy named James?"


	14. Chapter 14

"So, he's in our English class," Alice announced to the table.

I didn't pay much attention at first. It was only Bella's response that made my ears perk up.

"After English, Alice, he was in every single one of my morning classes," she said. "Why is he starting at a new school this late in the year?"

"I've got the scoop," Alice continued. "It turns out he was expelled from his old school, and unless he found another school to let him finish out the year, he would have to repeat the grade. I guess his parents have a lot of money and were able to…persuade Forks to let him in here."

"So, what did he do to get expelled, Alice?" Rose asked, always anxious to know the dirt on everyone.

"I don't know," Alice admitted. "But I'm guessing it was pretty serious for a permanent expulsion. I haven't heard anything specific though."

My interest waned. It was much more fascinating to stare at Bella and trace the lines in the palm of her hand, fantasizing about when I could be alone with her again. The monster, a hopeful look on its face, plunged an index finger in and out of its closed fist.

I finally got a look at James when I went to meet Bella after her gym class. I only noticed him because his face was unfamiliar, and he seemed to be far too interested in the movement of Bella's ass as she walked towards me. I gave him a menacing look before grabbing Bella and shoving my tongue down her throat. She seemed a little surprised but responded eagerly after a moment. The monster blew raspberries at James.

James' attention toward Bella seemed more marked the next couple of days when I went to meet her before lunch. I found him trying to capture Bella's interest while I waited outside the classroom for her. My irritation was growing. The monster was even more pissed, hissing at James as he walked by.

In the meantime, our usual after school specials on Bella's sofa continued. There was no question about it—I was addicted to her breasts. A day without her luscious pink nipples became a day without sunshine. I was suckling more than a newborn—and beating off more than ever as a result.

On Thursday, Alice came with us to do homework at Bella's after school. When Charlie arrived home and came into the kitchen to greet us, Alice shocked the hell out of me.

"Chief Swan, would it be okay if Bella had a sleepover with me Friday night?" she asked sweetly.

I suddenly found my dry as dust text book to be the most fascinating publication in the history of the planet. I knew if I looked up, my eyes would betray my excitement, and my evil intentions would become plain for all to see. The monster gleefully rubbed its hands together and kissed Alice's shoe.

Charlie hesitated only a moment. "I think that would be fine with me, Alice."

"Great!" Alice did look excited, and I wondered a bit about that. Perhaps she wasn't thinking of my…well being, at all.

"Why don't you bring your things to school tomorrow, Bella, and we'll go right to my house afterwards," Alice suggested to Bella.

"Sounds good," she confirmed.

My scheming to encourage their friendship appeared to be bearing fruit—Bella, at my house for the entire night. My head was swimming with the possibilities. Then reality kicked me in the groin. The monster covered its privates.

 _Don't forget the Bella Swan Resistance Plan, you idiot,_ I chided myself. In fact, it could turn out to be a very frustrating experience having Bella in the house overnight. Little did I know just how much of an understatement that was…

When we arrived at my house after school on Friday, Bella and Alice immediately disappeared into Alice's room. As I watched the door close behind them, I felt bereft. The monster positioned itself beside the door, obviously intending to eavesdrop.

I continued on to my bedroom, but didn't know what to do with myself. Normally I'd be having a wank about this time, but that seemed out of the question with Bella in the house. That thought reminded me that it had been two days now since I'd been alone with her, two full days since my fingers had been able to lovingly grasp her breasts, forty-eight fucking hours since I'd tasted her nipples… My hands started to shake.

I needed to do something, so I went downstairs and sat at my piano, finally settling on the darkest piece of music I knew. I took all my frustrations out in my playing. Esme came out of the kitchen and gave me a strange look before shaking her head and exiting the way she came. _Christ, was it that obvious?_

I didn't see Bella until dinner, and even then she was engrossed with Alice, only turning to smile at me once or twice. I looked on dejectedly. I knew I was being childish but couldn't help feeling left out. The monster looked utterly forlorn.

After dinner we gathered downstairs to watch a movie. Finally, Bella came and sat with me in the darkened room. I was feeling deprived and as a result, had trouble keeping my hands to myself. I sat with my arm around her as she cuddled into my side, my free hand trailing up and down first her thigh, then her arm before coming to rest on her stomach. I swear her breasts were actually taunting me, her nipples obviously hardening while my fingers raised goosebumps on her arms. I shifted uncomfortably next to her.

"I wish you would stop that," she whispered in my ear. "You're only making both of us crazy."

I pouted. "I've missed you. We haven't had a moment alone in two days," I responded in a whiney undertone.

"Well, I am Alice's guest tonight, so we just have to behave."

I sighed audibly at the chastisement. I thought I detected a sniveling sound from the monster.

After the movie, Alice grabbed Bella's hand and dragged her to her room. Emmett gave me a smug, knowing look and Rosalie snickered at the surly expression on my face. Jasper, bless him, appeared sympathetic.

Knowing I would just go crazy by myself in my room, I sat and watched another movie with them. Logically, I knew I couldn't blame Alice for wanting to be friends with Bella. But emotionally, I was ready to tear her limb from limb. The monster was busy sticking pins in a voodoo doll with dark spiky hair.

After the movie, I walked dispiritedly to my room. I was feeling too gloomy for my usual bedtime . . . sedative. I clicked on Barber's _Adagio for Strings,_ the most depressing piece of music I knew. I threw off my clothes and got into bed, letting the orchestra feed my melancholy. Okay, so maybe I _was_ being a tad bit overdramatic, I admitted to myself before drifting off to sleep.

I woke slowly to find something pleasant snuggling into my side—something soft and warm…and naked, or almost so. My eyes few open, and in the glow from my alarm clock I discerned Bella attaching herself to me. My cock reacted instantaneously.

"I missed you too," Bella whispered seductively.

With a groan my mouth found hers and my tongue parted her lips, seeking to increase the sensation of warmth that enveloped me. I turned onto my side and wound my arms around her, holding her as closely as possible. As my hands began to roam her body, I realized she was wearing only a pair a thin cotton shorts, and I emitted a needy sob as her legs tangled with mine.

"Bella, oh God, Bella," I gasped out. I rolled on top of her and restrained her head between my hands so I could ravish her mouth with my tongue. I held her body immobile with the weight of my own, focusing on the feel of her breasts crushed against my chest. I was losing it—behaving like an animal. And I knew with utter certainty that I would not be able to stop myself. Having been surprised awake by the feel of her warm, inviting flesh, all my defenses were down, and I could hear the triumphant roar of the monster in my ears.

Panting for breath, I broke our kiss, letting my mouth trail across her neck, biting the sensitive spot at the juncture of her shoulder, sucking on the delicate skin at the hollow of her throat. I moved with purpose towards her breast, fastening onto her nipple like a lifeline, lapping with my tongue and gently teasing with my teeth. My hand plumped and fondled the supple flesh. Bella moaned and bucked her hips against me. The sounds that I was emitting no longer seemed human.

I kneed Bella's legs apart and pressed my erection into her center. With only the thin layers of her shorts and my boxers between us, the usual sensations were highly magnified. Somehow the realization of how little stood between me and my ultimate desire made me pause. I stopped our movements for a moment, holding her tightly against me while I sought to control my breathing.

"Edward, why did you stop?" Bella rasped out.

I kissed her temple and then ran my nose along the line of her jaw. "Bella, if I don't stop now, I'm afraid I won't be able to stop at all," I whispered between clenched teeth.

"What happened to moving forward one step at a time?" she asked.

She was right. I needed to be able to push our boundaries to the next level without coming apart at the seams. "Yes, okay," I agreed softly, knowing I still wasn't out of danger.

"Then touch me," she pleaded.

I stilled for a moment. Hadn't I been touching her? Comprehension of her meaning slowly dawned, and I inhaled sharply. I hog tied the monster and proceeded with care.

My lips found hers again, and I managed to control myself better this time, still kissing her deeply, but at a more leisurely pace. I propped myself up on one elbow to relieve Bella of the burden of my full weight, and let my other hand caress her body. Her velvety skin, so soft and smooth, filled my senses, and yet still didn't prepare me for the satiny texture of her inner thigh when my hand moved to her leg.

My fingers traveled slowly as I approached the top of her thigh, lightly stroking the delicate skin there. Bella whimpered a little, obviously wanting more. I repositioned my hand to the silky plane of her flat belly and slipped my fingers under the elastic band of her shorts.

When I felt the warm wetness of her flesh, I shuddered with desire. I knew I could easily lose control again, but the wonder and intimacy of that moment made me slow down to savor the experience like nothing else could have done. I let my fingers explore, learning the secrets of her femininity, probing the sensitive folds of her flesh.

While I had been Don fucking Juan in my fantasies, I realized I was a little at sea here. Other than Bella's clearly ecstatic responses, there had been a certainly vagueness in my actions when the daydreams got to this point. Still, my…academic research on this particular subject gave me some ideas.

I slowly inserted a finger inside her and experimented a bit. Judging from Bella's response, she appeared to like that. I was emboldened. I added another finger to the first and moved both of them gently in and out while my thumb began circling what I knew to be the most sensitive spot.

"Bella, sweetheart, am I doing this right?" I whispered anxiously.

"Uh-huh." She nodded her head briefly. "Um, faster would…hnn…be good."

I sped up my movements and was rewarded with a loud moan from Bella. "Oh, Edward," she gasped, providing even more motivation. I lowered my head and began teasing a nipple with my mouth, thinking that the extra stimulation certainly couldn't hurt. I had my heart set on my goal now, and I was determined to succeed.

After perhaps another minute, Bella's body stiffened and she softly cried my name. I slowed my movements while she trembled in the aftermath of her climax. I could feel her fluids drench my fingers. There was no doubt about it—I had given my girlfriend an orgasm—I was a fucking sex god. The monster started signing autographs.

I rolled onto my back, and Bella collapsed half on top of me. She gave my chest a quick kiss and smiled sleepily at me before her eyes slowly closed. I heard her sigh happily. Within a minute her breathing evened out, and she was obviously asleep. And I still had a big, big problem.

 _Well fuck!_ The sense of male pride that had pervaded my thoughts was ebbing as I realized there was no relief in sight for me. I thought about getting up and going into the bathroom to take things into my own hand, as usual, but didn't want to wake Bella. She always looked so adorably peaceful when she slept. The monster, not as considerate, starting pulling on her hair.

I suppose I could just have a wank lying here. I didn't think I'd feel embarrassed if Bella woke and saw me. I mean, I was desperate enough so that I just didn't care. But there were two problems with that scenario. One, Bella was lying on my…favored arm. Okay, clearly not an insurmountable obstacle—I could use my clumsy left hand and still get off. But the bigger snag was that the way Bella was positioned, sprawled across my chest, meant that she was in the line of fire. And while the idea of coming all over Bella's belly or breasts or a million other places was pretty fucking appealing, I was pretty sure she wouldn't appreciate getting an eyeful of spunk.

If my balls hadn't started to ache miserably, I would have laughed at the absurdity of the situation. As it was, I just willed myself to relax and tried to bask in the glow of my outstanding performance. Certainly I lacked experience, but I had done my best to make up for it with enthusiasm and determination. As the tension finally eased, the torment really began.

I had almost forgotten that Bella talked in her sleep. I remembered abruptly when I heard her say, in a drowsy voice, "Ummm, Edward, fuck me." _Holy shit!_ _Not this again!_

I breathed a sigh of relief when nothing further came out of her mouth. But apparently her dream was just getting good, because her hips started undulating against me, and I could feel the damp crotch of her shorts rubbing against my side. _Dear God—kill me now…_

Then, when I made it through that nightmare without breaking, her hand began creeping down my abdomen. In horror, I watched it slowly move—like a tarantula, only deadlier. When it reached my cock and her fingers gradually curled around it, I thought I might actually start crying.

My thoughts were really starting to turn to despicable acts now. For one, the monster was urging me to cover Bella's hand with my own and start moving it up and down my rigid length. My shaking hand covered hers.

And I carefully uncurled her fingers and brought her hand to rest high up on my chest, taking a deep, calming breath—possibly another mistake. Bringing my own hand within the vicinity of my face brought new pain, since I could now detect the fragrance "eau de pussy" on me. But I was so resigned to a night of sexual agony now, what was one more cause for suffering. My only hope was that my cock wouldn't go off on a frolic of its own during the night and add humiliation into the sexual confusion cocktail.

I have to say, it was nice to know that I was stronger than I thought. It gave me a little more confidence that I could maintain control. And honestly, Bella deserved someone to worship her—someone who could bring her pleasure without turning into a…monster.

And just then Bella stirred against me, and I clearly heard her murmur, "I love you Edward." My heart now throbbed in time with my cock.

Amazingly, I did fall asleep eventually, waking to new and interesting torments. Bella and I had ended up aligning like two spoons during the night, and her fantastic ass was tightly pressed into my now painfully intense morning erection. My left arm had curled around her body and was softly gripping her right breast. _Christ, even in my sleep…_

I slowly disengaged my hand and carefully lifted myself away from her body and out of the bed, tucking the comforter in at her back so she wouldn't get cold. I went into my bathroom and locked the door. Well, there would be nothing unusual about taking a shower first thing in the morning. I could hardly fucking wait to get in there…the monster jumped in before me.

I soaped myself up and replayed the images of last night in my mind, the feel of Bella's most intimate flesh dampening my fingers, the look on her face when she came, the sounds of pleasure she made, and spunk was violently spurting everywhere. I could have been crowned king of the circle jerk with that one.

And I was hard again before I even finished soaping up the rest of my body. I went back to work, imagining how it would feel if it had been my cock lunging up Bella's tight, wet heat instead of my fingers. I lasted a few more strokes this time, but the second orgasm was just as intense as the first. I leaned against the shower wall, letting the water flow down my body as I recovered. The monster was passed out on the tile.

Bella was still sleeping when I entered my room. I quickly got dressed and lay down over the covers next to her. I started kissing her neck and shoulder to bring her to wakefulness. She stirred and turned over, winding her arms around my neck and nuzzling my throat. She was so fucking cute in the morning. I would give anything to wake up with her every day, and at that thought, I was hit by a wave of longing so strong I struggled to breath.

"Why are you up?" she asked my chest.

"It's late, love. I was afraid Alice might come to steal you away from me."

"What time is it?" she inquired, a little more awake this time.

"Almost ten. I'm surprised Alice wasn't banging on my door a couple of hours ago." I'd have to thank her for at least that, I suppose.

"Edward?"

"Yes, sweetheart, what is it?"

Bella hesitated. "I love you," she whispered into my neck.

I chucked gleefully, and my arms tightened around her. "Yes, I know."

Bella tipped her head back to look at me. "How do you know? I haven't said it before."

I kissed her forehead. "Yes, you have," I responded softly. "Did you know you talk in your sleep?" _And apparently you have some pretty graphic sex dreams…_

"Oh, no," Bella groaned miserably.

"Why are you upset? It's unbelievably adorable."

"It's embarrassing. Now you know that I dream about you," she admitted.

I couldn't tell her that I already knew that from the last time she had slept in my presence. "Bella, love, you have nothing to be embarrassed about. If I could control my dreams, they would all be of you. In fact, most of them are anyway." _God knows_ a _ll of my day dreams feature you in a starring role—naked._ "You have no idea how happy it made me to hear you say it—even in your sleep—especially in your sleep, with all your defenses down," I added, gathering her closer to my chest and kissing her delicate ear.

"Well, now you've heard it both asleep and awake, so you know it's true."

"Now, what are we going to do today?" I asked cheerfully.

"Well, I'm going to get up and go home to do my chores and then finish my homework," she announced with a sigh.

The monster sighed too, before wrapping a kerchief around its head and producing a feather duster.

"What about tonight?" I questioned. "Will I see you? Do you want to do something?"

"Of course you'll see me. And yes I want to do something—I want to spend more time with you than I did last night. Don't get me wrong, it was fun being with Alice." She raised her hand to caress my face. "But I missed you too much."

Thoughts of last night brought a smile to my face. "Where are your clothes?"

Bella thought for a minute. "I should have a tank top on the floor around here somewhere."

She raised herself up to go look for it, and I opened my closet to find her a bathrobe to wear back to Alice's room. When I turned around, she was pulling her top over her head. I internally bid her fabulous breasts farewell while I held the robe open for her to put on. I turned her around for a quick kiss before releasing her so she could get back to Alice's room.

After dropping Bella off at her house, I spent the rest of my day much as I had last Saturday – missing Bella, having the occasional wank and sternly lecturing the monster. Things had almost gone off the deep end last night, and I couldn't afford to get that out of control again. Although Bella had never seemed apprehensive, I'm not sure she realized how close to the edge I had been. I didn't want to scare her or worse, hurt her in some way.

So on a physical level, things definitely could go no further for a while. A long while. I needed to slow things down. I had touched her last night—and given her an incredible orgasm. That needed to be enough. I mentally drew a line in the sand and instructed the monster not to cross it.

And you know, I think I could have stuck by that promise. Really. I mean, except for two things. When I went to pick Bella up that evening she was wearing that frothy white skirt again. And this time, I had no basis on which to object. Besides, she looked so fucking pretty there was no way I could complain. And then, later that night, she went and shoved her hand down my pants.


	15. Chapter 15

I was on my best behavior at Bella's house when I went to retrieve her. Charlie was there, and I was almost certain he could read my thoughts once I saw Bella in that gauzy skirt. It didn't help that she was also wearing the blue camisole that theoretically required no separate foundation garment. I kept my eyes innocently wide and my hands in my pockets. I ruthlessly stepped on the monster when I caught it trying to look up Bella's skirt.

My restraint lasted for about thirty seconds after we left her house. I pulled over in the now familiar spot and gave Bella a blistering kiss. My hand somehow found itself on her knee and was sliding determinedly up her leg before I could stop myself. Once I ended the kiss, I hurriedly pulled her skirt back down, somewhat embarrassed to be going straight for the…finish line. I could see already that this would be a trying night.

"Bella, would you like to go somewhere tonight?" I asked hopelessly.

"I told you, Edward. I'd like to spend our evening together and have some alone time, if possible," she responded in her most sultry voice.

I was silent for the rest of the ride, trying to pull the shreds of my self-control together and hoping Bella wouldn't notice the growing bulge in my jeans.

"Let's join the others downstairs for a while," I suggested when we arrived at my house. We entered the TV room to find my siblings arguing about which movie to watch first. I really couldn’t care less and apparently Bella felt the same, since she simply sat quietly next to me on the sofa.

Someone had the brilliant idea to douse the lights after the movie started. I guess Bella hadn't been kidding when she said wanted to be alone with me. Before the opening titles were over, she was nuzzling my neck and letting a hand roam freely over my body. I managed to withstand that for about, oh, ten seconds before I pulled her onto my lap and started kissing her.

"Get a room!" someone hissed.

That suddenly seemed like a capitol idea to me. "Do you want to see this movie?" I whispered in Bella's ear, my voice rough with desire.

She pressed herself up against me in a meaningful way and whispered, "What movie?"

We got up to leave the basement, and as we were walking upstairs, I heard Emmett yell, "Be safe!" I ignored the snickers that followed.

When we arrived at my room, the monster, lounging on the bed wearing red silk pajamas and a wicked smile, waggled its eyebrows at Bella.

We didn't instantaneously jump into bed. Bella stood directly in front of me, holding my hands as they hung by my sides. She lifted her face to my neck and inhaled deeply.

"Edward…" she breathed into my jaw. I shivered at the feel of her warm breath on my neck. My arms encircled her waist, and I held her close to me, content for the moment with the feel of her body pressed tightly against mine. I felt her sigh.

"What's wrong?" I ventured.

"Not a thing. I'm just happy." She pulled back from my embrace to look up at me with a smile. "You make me very happy. Perhaps it's the glory of first love."

"Bella," I whispered before lifting one hand to the back of her neck to hold her steady for my kiss. My tongue parted her lips, and I savored the taste of her mouth. My free hand inched downward from her waist to push her body closer to mine.

It occurred to me then that I had never been this close to Bella before when she wasn't wearing jeans. The thin fabric of her skirt left nothing to the imagination, and I couldn't resist putting a hand on either side of her ass and squeezing that delectable flesh. I groaned into her mouth and forcefully pressed my erection into her body. When I broke our kiss I was literally gasping for breath. The monster was panting like a St. Bernard.

I maneuvered Bella over to the bed and practically fell on top of her. With such easy access to her body, north and south, I didn't know where to begin. _What the fuck—why choose?_ My mouth began making its way towards the swell of her breast while my hand inched up her thigh. The monster eyed us like it was watching a tennis match.

Last night we had…plowed new territory, so to speak, and I was determined that we shouldn't go any further for a while. But certainly, revisiting the same terrain couldn't hurt anything. My hand continued its journey upward, and I slipped it underneath Bella's panties and lightly caressed her soft bottom.

I felt Bella tugging on my T-shirt, so I shifted upward to assist her in removing it. I took the opportunity to pull her camisole down, fully exposing her breasts. I could never see her revealed like this without gasping at how beautiful she looked.

"Sweetheart," I groaned before bending my head to capture her lips. My hand returned to fumbling with her panties. I knew it was dangerous, but I wanted the fucking things gone. Apparently so did the monster, offering assistance by yanking on one side.

I managed to move them far enough downward so that Bella could slide them off with her foot. Her legs automatically opened for me, and I stroked the insides of her thighs, marveling once again in their exquisite softness, before cupping the mound of her sex with my hand. The feel of her wet and vulnerable flesh was intoxicating. I lost myself in the moment. The next step just seemed so natural—to shed my jeans, roll back over, and bury myself inside her. I had to ruthlessly quash the overwhelming temptation to do so and remind myself of where and who I was. _Don't be an idiot—this is the woman you love, Edward—treat her right!_ I went back to letting my fingers do the walking.

I took my time tonight, exploring, teasing, testing her reactions. When my mouth wasn't busy kissing Bella's lips or skin or sucking on her nipples, I would look up to gauge her reactions. Apparently I was doing quite well, judging from her moans of pleasure and writhing body. It was pretty fucking fascinating and hotter than hell. The monster began fanning itself.

Utilizing basically the same technique as last night, I achieved success once again, experiencing the indescribable feeling of Bella coming apart in my arms. Feeling quite the superhero, I kissed her before rolling onto my back and wrapping my arm around her to snuggle her into my side. And there I was, innocently lying there, congratulating myself on my unmatched expertise and wondering how long it would be before I could get in a wank, when Bella pushed herself up, leaned over to give me a kiss, and slid her hand determinedly into my jeans.

When her fingers closed around my cock, I thought I might come at once.

"Bella!" I choked out. "What are you doing?"

"I'm reciprocating," she whispered. "Just relax." The monster lay back on the bed and spread its arms and legs in abject surrender.

_Yeah, right, I'm relaxing._

She began kissing me again, then released my cock and slid her hand upwards. I didn't know whether to sigh in relief or cry with frustration. I stilled in surprise when she went to work unfastening my belt and unclasping my jeans.

My thoughts were in turmoil. Should we be doing this? Isn't this expanding our boundaries twice in the same weekend? Why wasn't I stopping her? How long could I hold out? Just how humiliating was this going to be?

 _Shut the fuck up!_ yelled the monster.

Well, as long as I was letting the BSR Plan go to hell, I guess I should be thorough. When she unzipped my jeans, slid her hand into my boxers, and touched my cock, I groaned in unparalleled delight. Just as I had done with her, Bella began learning the secrets of my anatomy. Her fingers stroked my length, caressed the tip of my cock, and traveled downward to gently cup my balls. It felt so fucking good to actually have someone else’s hand on me. I gritted my teeth and tried to hang on for dear life.

This was a new kind of torment. How many hundreds of times had I jerked off pretending the hand on my cock was Bella's? Those sessions had been a race for relief—I couldn't come too quickly to suit my own needs. That was so _not_ the case here.

It didn't help the current situation that my imagination had been sadly lacking when it came to the reality of how much better it felt to have Bella's hand touching me. When her fingers curled around my cock and began stroking, I thought my heart might give out. I fought to get air into my lungs. But primarily, I struggled against an overwhelming need to let myself go.

It felt too good to have it end so fast, I told myself. I needed to make this last, I lectured. I would _not_ humiliate myself, I insisted. Then I wondered exactly how long I would need to hold out until I could orgasm without looking like a total…wanker.

The monster was hitting itself in the head with a mallet.

I had no idea how much time had elapsed, but when Bella's hand started moving faster, I knew I was done for. I tore my mouth away from hers to give warning, which for some reason seemed important to me.

"Bella," I croaked. "I'm going…to…come."

"That's the idea," she whispered in my ear before gently teasing the lobe with her teeth.

Looking for something to hold on to, I grabbed her breast. Hard. Within seconds I groaned loudly and stiffened in release. I felt my spunk spurt out onto my abdomen. And God bless her, Bella kept it up until the very last drop. Finally, I put my hand over hers to still her movement. Otherwise, I was too…um…drained to move.

The monster flopped backwards onto a pillow with a gratified smile on its face.

After a few moments I reached for the ever-present tissues on my nightstand and cleaned myself up. Then I wiped off Bella's hand. After that, I couldn't resist rolling on top of her and kissing her for all I was worth. I fondled the breast I had previously grabbed and lifted my head.

"I got a little carried away. I hope I didn't hurt you," I murmured contritely. I kissed her nipple softly, lingering to suckle a bit.

"Edward," she moaned in a low voice. "If you keep this up we'll end up starting all over again." _And your point is?_

I returned to kissing her luscious full lips and lifted my head to plant small kisses on her eyes and face. I didn't have the heart to tell her I was already, er, in position to go again. _That's okay, I obviously need more extended solo practice…_

Although I could have happily stayed cuddled up with Bella forever, basking in the glow of our new found…capabilities, eventually it became time to take her home, and I did so reluctantly. I remembered how wonderful it had been to have her wake up in my bed and vowed to ask Alice to invite Bella for another sleepover next weekend. Even if Alice intended to hog Bella all evening, I would still have the night.

In the morning, I had even more new material for my shower. This time though I worked on making the experience last, trying to reverse the unwelcome pattern created by months of frantic self-abuse. I could see that much more effort on my part would be required in this respect.

Bella had homework to do during the afternoon. I reflected on the previous evening while waiting for her to call me and let me know she was free. All in all, I was pretty happy.

Admittedly, the boundaries had slipped again. But I was quite confident that we were in a position to maintain the status quo now. It had been totally unrealistic to think we were going to be able to stop with heavy petting. I mean, all the frustration had been absolutely palpable. Now, we had reached a stage where we were both obtaining…satisfaction. There was no need to readjust the BSR Plan further any time soon. And I had managed to maintain control pretty well too. So things were good. And frankly, I couldn't wait for a repeat performance.

Which was why it was really frustrating when Bella finally decided to take me up on my offer to actually go out. When she called late afternoon, she suggested we go to a movie that night. Since I looked forward to just being in Bella's company, I wasn't terribly disappointed. I mean, until we got to the theatre.

Halfway through the film I realized I had no idea what it was about. I had spent the first hour staring at her, fantasizing about her breasts and how it felt to have my fingers inside her and how her fingers felt curled around my cock and instead of either of our fingers doing anything, how wonderful it would be to have my cock inside her. I kept shifting uncomfortably in my seat, which didn't go completely unobserved by Bella. The monster indulged its vexation by throwing popcorn at people.

My frustration was compounded when we got to my car and Bella decided a make out session was now in order. It was like going back in time to…well, shit, was that only two weeks ago when feeling her up was the very pinnacle of my existence? And what the fuck was I thinking when I bought a car with an obtrusive center console? I dropped Bella off at her house experiencing a familiar tension. _Oh well—I need the practice. Maybe I could start timing myself…_

My weekend came to a close in the usual way, and a new week of school began. Spending so much time with Bella and having such fabulous…encounters, I had forgotten there was anything to be concerned about. Not once had I thought of James. But by the end of that week, James' behavior had gone beyond annoying and into the realm of troubling—at least to me.

In the lunch room on Monday, I saw that James was sitting at a table and was literally surrounded by girls. Alice, noticing where my attention had been drawn, commented.

"Apparently he's a real hit with the ladies," she remarked. "I guess it's the grungy, bad boy thing he's got going. And I have to admit, that whole look does work for him."

Rosalie chimed in, oblivious to Emmett's feelings. "Well, he is pretty hot, and he's got a great body." In her own unique way, she sought to stir up trouble. "What do you think, Bella?"

Bella laughed easily. "You can hardly expect me to be attracted to another guy when I've got Edward. There's no comparison." She smiled lovingly at me, and my heart skipped a beat. The monster, hands on its hips, stuck out its tongue at Rose.

Although not exactly worrisome on its own, other events were compounding these small annoyances. Again, every time I went to pick up Bella from her math class for lunch, James was situated at her side, talking to her. I could tell from his demeanor that he was attempting to be charming. Even though Bella's reaction appeared to be one of polite disinterest, James was totally getting to me.

And James was no longer just watching Bella as she left gym class to meet up with me at the end of every day. He appeared to be attaching himself to her, repeatedly seeking to claim her attention. I almost lost it on Wednesday when Bella began to walk towards me and James reached up to hold her arm to restrain her departure. Bella quietly and smoothly disengaged herself and seemed totally unconcerned as I walked up to meet her, but I was furious and possibly all the more inflamed because I didn't know whether to make a scene about it or not. It was probably a mistake that I erred on the conservative side and tried to satisfy myself with a threatening expression. God knows that if looks could kill, they'd have been carrying James off in a basket. The monster took to lifting a make believe kilt and mooning James every chance it got.

I suspected that James' obvious pursuit of Bella was starting to influence my behavior as well. For instance, I had been careful to make sure we didn't remove any articles of clothing while we conducted our regularly scheduled after school make-out sessions on her sofa, not wanting to provoke Charlie into actually shooting me should he come home early. Normally, I was content to shove bits of clothing aside permitting me somewhat limited access to her bare skin. Now, I was becoming increasingly frustrated by my inability to touch Bella where and how I wanted. I didn't quite understand why, but I felt more than the usual need for unobstructed physical contact. The fact is., I was on fire for intimacy with Bella and having more trouble than usual restraining the monster.

Even though James' behavior only set off minor warning bells, it still reawakened feelings in me that I had thought long tamed by my love for Bella. Suddenly the caveman was reappearing in my impulses and desires. And it meant that in spite of my assurances to myself that our current stage of physical contact was completely satisfying, the need to possess her utterly was once again warring with my common sense. For the most part, that increased desire took the form of compelling fantasies in which I gently and tenderly made love to Bella, wanting to demonstrate my total devotion, worshipping her body and soul. But the more I thought of James, the harder it became to avoid the images where I ruthlessly dominated and claimed her as mine and mine alone.

Thursday at school was particularly trying. Mid-morning, I was walking down the hall a few feet behind the Paris Hilton twins—Jessica and Lauren. I was certain they did not know I could overhear their conversation, which left me trembling with anger.

"Christ, could Bella Swan be any sluttier?" Jessica complained. "Every time I see her she's hanging all over James."

"I know," Lauren sympathized. "She's already got Edward Cullen wrapped around her finger, and that's not enough for her. Now she's going after James, too."

"Well, I guess the good part is that if she dumps Edward for James, at least Cullen will be back on the market," Jessica giggled.

 _Yeah, like I'd ever be interested in your skanky ass, Jessica._ The monster snorted with derision.

I felt sick to my stomach. I knew that Bella was not interested in James. There was no question in my mind that he was the sole aggressor in the situation. But to hear Bella spoken of in such a way, even by two such invidious cretins, was hurtful. Even more disquieting was the realization that other people noticed how much time he spent in her company. I suddenly recalled that other than Biology, James and Bella were in every class together. It was infuriating that he had so many opportunities to ingratiate himself with her.

When I met up before lunch with Bella, I actually entered her classroom to interrupt what appeared to be a one-sided conversation prompted by James. Again, I wondered, was I overreacting? Then I gave into my darker impulses and grabbed Bella for a scorching kiss.

"Are you particularly hungry today?" I whispered, my voice thick with desire.

"Not for food," she responded, pressing herself against me.

"Good. Let's take a ride in my car." I led Bella from the room, and we headed for my car.

I knew just where to go, straight to my favorite isolated road where I'd ejaculated enough to give birth to an army. The monster bounced up and down with anticipation in the back seat. After parking, I jumped out and opened Bella's door before ushering her into the back of my car, shoving the drooling monster out of the way.

I pulled Bella onto my lap so she was straddling my legs and began kissing her hungrily. The denim skirt she wore, a most fortuitous choice indeed, slid up her thighs. Within seconds I was unbuttoning her blouse, practically tearing it open in my haste to get at her skin. I dithered when it came to her bra, unable to decide the best way to eliminate the unwanted interference. I slid my hands onto her shoulders, pushed the straps onto her arms and pulled the whole contraption down her body. My hands roughly gripped her breasts, and I moaned with relief and desire. When my mouth captured a nipple and began frantically suckling, I heard Bella gasp and felt her hands wind tightly into my hair.

I let one hand knead her other breast, taking care to flick my thumb over her tight nipple. My other hand slid up her skirt and into her panties. She was wet—so fucking wet—already. Incoherent sounds were coming from my throat as I began moving my fingers within her wet folds, desperate to see Bella orgasm, yearning to see her fall to pieces in my arms again. I needed the reassurance, perhaps, that only I could touch her so intimately and give her such pleasure; only I could render her so completely helpless. I inserted a finger inside her and groaned with naked longing to have my cock inside that warm, wet tightness. Bella began moving up and down against my hand, increasing the pressure. I inserted a second finger and sped up the movement of my thumb against her clit.

Either I was getting really good at this or Bella was exceptionally horny, because it didn't take long before she exploded in my arms, sobbing my name before she collapsed against me. I held her tightly, planting small kisses on her face and hair. I didn't think it was possible to love her any more than I did at that moment.

Bella began reaching for my belt, and I covered her hand with my own.

"Edward, what's wrong? Don't you want me to touch you?" she questioned.

"No, sweetheart. I just wanted to pleasure you. I'm fine," I whispered in her ear.

"Judging from the bulge in your pants, I'd have to say you're not fine," she teased.

"I'll _be_ fine. Believe it or not, I got everything I wanted." I mean, almost everything. Okay, so it wasn't altogether true. What I really wanted was to put my hands at her waist and lift her exquisite body right onto my stiff length, losing myself inside of her. But that was way outside the limits of the current BSR Plan…

Bella looked up at me with melting eyes and flushed skin. "The blush on your cheeks is truly lovely," I murmured as my fingers trailed down the side of her face. And I kissed her slowly, hoping to convey the depth of my feelings for her with that simple act.

"We should get back," I admitted reluctantly.

I helped her put her clothes to right and then tried to adjust my jeans to a more comfortable position. Okay, that wasn't really possible. I mentally commanded my cock to assume an "at ease" stance before heading back to school.

The monster resumed its seat in the back and licked its fingers. I can't say I blamed it—I was surreptitiously sniffing my own for the rest of the afternoon. I couldn't help thinking of it as enjoying the bouquet while resisting the wine.


	16. Chapter 16

Alice joined us at Bella's house after school, prepared, at my prompting, to ask Charlie if Bella could spend the night on Friday. Charlie arrived home to find us diligently studying. The anticipated conversation took an unexpected turn.

"Chief Swan, I would love it if Bella could spend the night with me again tomorrow," Alice sweetly suggested.

"Well, Alice, I have no problem with that. In fact, I'll be fishing all day Saturday, so there's no need for Bella to hurry home," Charlie responded.

"Great!" Alice added. "We can go shopping on Saturday, Bella!"

"Dad, I'll still be here in time to make you dinner," Bella offered.

Charlie hesitated a moment. "Bells, I'll be going out to La Push Saturday night to watch the game with Billy, so that won't be necessary. Of course, you're welcome to come with me. I'm sure Jacob would be thrilled to see you."

Was Charlie deliberately trying to provoke me? If so, it was working. My eyes flew to Bella's face. No discernable expression crossed hers as she responded. "No thanks, Dad—I'll pass. Will you be late?"

"Yes, probably. I won't be home until midnight or so."

Alice practically jumped out of her seat. "Well, if that's the case, Chief Swan, Bella should spend Saturday night with me too, so she doesn't have to be alone. That way I can do the makeover I've been wanting to try."

"You'll get sick of her, Alice," Charlie joked. "But it's up to you girls. I'd rather not have Bella sitting here by herself."

 _Oh my God!_ Bella would be at my house two nights in a row. My head was reeling. Once again I kept my eyes glued to my paper, knowing that they would be brimming with lust. The monster whipped out a copy of the _Kama Sutra_ and began dog earring pages.

"Then it's settled," Alice concluded.

We gathered up our things to leave, and I gave Bella a chaste kiss on the cheek, like a safe little boyfriend who would never, ever, in a million years think of having any sort of sexual encounter with the police chief's daughter.

On the way home, I congratulated Alice on her move in getting Bella to spend the weekend, but added a caveat. "I hope you're not planning on monopolizing Bella all weekend."

"Of course not," Alice responded innocently. "You should feel free to come shopping with us on Saturday. We'll probably need someone to carry the bags."

"Alice, I'm serious. Do not even think that you're taking up the whole weekend with Bella. She's my girlfriend, and keep in mind that we would be spending time together this weekend without your intervention."

"Okay, all right. I won't hog Bella."

The monster gave Alice a dubious look.

That settled, I looked forward to the prospect of two nights with Bella. I was so happy I felt like I was walking on air. Not even the sight of James could trouble me the next day.

Bella came home from school with us on Friday. I didn't even mind when she and Alice disappeared in her room. It didn't bother me a bit when Alice occupied Bella's attention at dinner. And although they came downstairs to play video games after dinner, I hardly blinked an eye when Alice and Bella left to go upstairs. Bella made clear her intentions when she whispered in my ear before she left the room.

"I'll see you later—be naked." My cock swelled with happiness. The monster flew up the stairs, discarding clothing as it went.

Okay, what did that mean? I mean, I knew what it meant. But, I mean, oh you know what I mean… _Christ, I've lost the ability to think coherently._

I sat in the recreation room for a while pretending to watch Jasper and Emmett virtually kill each other. My head was in a daze. What were Bella's expectations? Eventually I realized I couldn't reflect on it here. My dick was never going to…behave as long as I sat here thinking about Bella wanting me naked.

I retreated to my room. I had no idea when Bella planned on joining me, but I was sure it would be a while. There was plenty of time to have a hot, relaxing shower with the usual…sleep aid. No doubt it would help with any control issues as well. And I was sure the monster would appreciate not having to recite the multiplication tables in its head in order to avoid any…premature events.

Afterward, I put on some relaxing music and got into bed—naked. I anticipated staring at the ceiling for several hours, but instead fell asleep rather quickly. You would have thought I would be mentally prepared for what was to come, having been warned ahead this time. I wasn't.

When Bella woke me by snuggling into my arms, my consciousness took in the sole fact that she was completely naked and all awareness stopped there. My mind fixed onto that one realization, and I acted accordingly. I thrust my tongue into her mouth, rolled on top of her, shifted her legs wide apart and began positioning myself for entry. When the tip of my cock began pressing into her flesh, realization set in with a sickening thud. Without preparation or foreplay, I was about to take my girlfriend's virginity in a way that certainly wouldn't be pleasant for her. I went limp on top of Bella's body. The monster produced a rope and began fashioning it into a noose.

"I'm sorry, Bella," I whispered. "You caught me off guard. But I will control myself—I'll be on my best behavior from now on."

"Please don't apologize. I just climbed into bed with you naked. And in case you didn't notice, I wasn't stopping you," she added.

I raised my head to gaze into Bella's face. "Bella, you aren't serious," I breathed urgently.

She lifted a delicate hand and touched my face. "I am serious. I love you, and I want to be with you. That can't be so difficult to understand," she stated with simple sincerity.

"Don't you feel the confusion…I feel?" I asked. "I want you too. You have no idea how much. But we haven't been together for that long, you know. I don't want us to do something that you may come to regret. It would kill me if that happened."

And it would. If we made love and Bella came to feel remorseful about it, I would feel guilty until the day I died. Losing her virginity wasn't something that could be undone—it was forever. And so I felt compelled to make the decision on behalf of both of us. I would not let Bella make that mistake.

 _Eat shit and die!_ cursed the monster, shaking its fist at me.

But I wanted to give Bella the pleasure she deserved. I loved her, and of course I wished above all else to demonstrate that. And I could do that—there were other ways to make love to her.

We had all the time in the world. I kissed her slowly, passionately. I ran my tongue across her lips and nipped at them tenderly with my teeth. When Bella was gasping, I moved my attention to her face and then rolled us over so she was on top, freeing both of my hands to roam her body while my mouth continued to tease my favorite sensitive spots on her neck and shoulders. I slipped my thumbs between our bodies as I traversed her rib cage to reach her nipples and gently flick them. My hands stretched downward, following the delectable swell of her ass, kneading the fleshy curves and letting my fingers begin to explore between her legs. I luxuriated in the feel of my cock pressed into the softness of her belly. As my fingers grew more inquisitive, Bella began writhing in earnest, adding appreciably to the stimulation.

I rolled us onto our sides and lowered my head to her breasts. My hands gripped the soft flesh and pushed inward, allowing my tongue to dart quickly from one nipple to the other before my mouth fastened onto one rosy peak. I relentlessly teased both of her nipples, alternating between my mouth and fingers, using my teeth to nibble and rake over the sensitive nubs. Every whimper of pleasure from Bella sent a jolt of desire through me.

I rolled Bella onto her back. Kissing and licking my way down her body, I stopped briefly to explore her navel with my tongue, eliciting a small giggle. I lingered when I reached the top of her thighs, a preview of coming attractions, as it were. Continuing down one leg, I teased Bella with my tongue and teeth, discovering the most sensitive spots. Her foot became the next target of my exploration, and I couldn't resist sucking on a couple of her adorable toes. The monster lewdly rubbed itself against her pinkie.

While it was overwhelmingly tempting to simply plant my face between her legs, I continued my deliberate journey, slowly moving up Bella's other leg, worshipping every inch of her body. The light I had left on in the bathroom earlier for Bella's benefit provided enough illumination for me to be absolutely fucking fascinated by what I could see ahead. It was all just so…intriguing. I couldn't wait to explore further.

When I reached her center, my hands pushed her legs further apart. I wanted her spread for me—helpless against my planned assault. I ran my thumbs along her outer lips, opening her for my tongue. Her body tensed just before I moved in for the first taste, but her gasp of pleasure at my initial touch was empowering. It was the most amazing experience of my life, absorbing her unique flavor and scent as I probed her secrets. I took my time, wanting to learn what brought her the most pleasure, although judging from Bella's reactions, there didn't seem to be a whole lot I could do wrong.

I delved deeply inside her with my tongue, lapping at her warm juices. Bella's hips bucked wildly, and my hands exerted more pressure on her thighs to keep her steady. After fully exploring her soft folds, I eventually found my way to what I knew to be her most sensitive spot. Bella was thrashing now, and I noticed the sheet fisted in her hands. I latched on and sucked for all I was worth, spurred on by the helpless sounds she was making. When I felt her body begin to spasm, Bella groaned my name, and her hips involuntarily lifted to make closer contact. I slowed my movements until she relaxed, but couldn't resist watching her body's response to a few last teasing licks. I kissed her soft flesh before doing the same to the delicate skin of each thigh and lifted myself up to take her trembling body into my arms.

The monster pinned a medal on its chest.

I held Bella closely, stroking her back and planting soft kisses on her face. Eventually, she spoke.

"Edward, that was . . . uhnn . . . amazing," she whispered.

_That's Mister Fucking Sex God to you._

"I wonder if you would think so," she added ambiguously.

The monster and I both said _, "Huh?"_

Bella's hand reached for my stiff cock and began stroking it. I shuddered with need. She kissed her way down my chest, her mouth stopping to close around one nipple. Gently nibbling, her thumb nail scraped across the other, and I gasped with the small twin darts of pleasure. As her mouth began to move lower I froze, finally understanding her comment. Wait, was she going to do what I thought? I didn't intend this—hadn't even considered it an option. But I knew I had no ability to stop her.

Bella paused for a moment, looking me over I suspected. Her tongue ran cautiously up my length, and I inhaled sharply. When her mouth closed around the head of my cock, the capability for any rational thought fled. And oh my God, it was my turn to grab the sheets and hang on for dear life.

The sensation of Bella's mouth around my cock was indescribably better than anything I could have imagined in any number of lifetimes. I could feel my eyeballs roll back in my head as her mouth and hand moved up and down my arousal. This time I was in no danger of any…premature…conclusion.

For one thing, this really did feel too fucking great to end it all by coming. The urge to prolong the experience was overwhelming. Hoarse sounds of pleasure were escaping from me with her every movement. I couldn't believe how fucking fantastic this felt. Secondly, on a more practical level, the whole…etiquette of the situation was unclear to me. My thoughts on this matter were enough to delay the inevitable.

It was incredible when Bella came in my mouth, but I was pretty sure that girls didn't like that when giving a blow job. I mean, I must have read that somewhere or other. And I was a little afraid that if I did, it would be explosive enough that Bella might need some dental work when it was over. So I figured I had better warn her to…um, take cover.

My will pretty much crumbled when my brain got done making that decision. So now I just had to focus on making my mouth form actual words.

"Bel…la," I moaned. "I…hnnn…am going… to…fuck…come."

Her eyes darted up to meet mine, and seeing her mouth clamped around me like that would have been enough to do the trick had I not been holding back for all I was worth. But she didn't stop for even a second. Did I see desire in her eyes? Oh my God, did this mean what I thought it meant? I mean, did she mean… _Fuck, not that again._

The pressure inside me had built to an intolerable level, and I finally let go, hoping that I interpreted her look correctly. I could not fucking believe the violence of the orgasm that struck me. As the aftershocks subsided, I looked up to see the monster floating away on a cloud.

Bella took one last lick at the tip of my cock, and I jumped about three feet off the bed. I grabbed her and pulled her into my arms. As I held her closely to me, I was overcome with feelings of both gratitude and adoration, but this didn't seem a particularly appropriate moment to say either "thank you" or "I love you." So I tried to convey my sentiments with a kiss instead. I could still feel the stupid smile on my face when sleep took me.

Waking up with Bella in my arms the next morning was exquisite. I was lying on my back and Bella's head was resting on my shoulder, one of her arms and legs draped possessively over me. I was once again thunderstruck by how wonderful it felt to awaken in this manner, and an expanding core of happiness throbbed inside me. And my cock.

Okay, I suppose it was a bit much hoping Bella wouldn't mind having…spunk for breakfast. I tried to tell myself to stop being greedy. God knew there would be no problem handling the matter myself. One thought of Bella's mouth on me and I'd be knocking tiles off the shower wall. I had a feeling that recollection would come in incredibly…handy, since after last night, I was convinced I would be hard pretty much all the time.

I couldn't resist waking Bella with my mouth by sucking gently on her nipple, and as she moaned and snuggled into my side, I was again buffeted with the intense, penetrating need to sheathe myself inside her. I didn't know whether to thank Alice or wring her neck when she pounded on my door and said, "Let's get going!" The monster made its own decision, retrieving the now bedraggled voodoo doll with a look of vengeance on its face.

"Bella, love, you know Alice will not give up until she gets her way," I whispered.

She nodded and then gave me a sleepy smile. "Last night was amazing. For a minute I thought it might be a dream."

"Do you think you're that creative?" I teased. Alice knocked again.

"I'd rather just stay here all day with you," Bella admitted with a sigh.

 _Fuck me!_ What I wouldn't give for that to happen.

"For the record, I would love more than anything to spend a day like this with you." My hand gently caressed her breast as I rolled over to face her. Having unrestricted access to her entire body was making me giddy.

Alice pounded on the door again. "Are you getting up?" she demanded. The monster grabbed another stick pin.

"Yes, Alice. Now go away," I replied.

"I need a shower," Bella declared. "Care to join me?"

 _Holy shit!_ Now I knew that was a terrible idea. I'd fucked Bella in that shower so many times—I mean, in my head—that I was positive I'd never be able to restrain myself. When I thought of my favorite position, Bella with her hands against the shower wall while I urgently thrust into her from behind, my hands gripping her hips to hold her still for me or reaching up to cup her breasts, I couldn't stop myself from groaning aloud. I flopped onto my back, torn between abject need and absolute terror.

"Bella, I'm sorry." I scrambled to make up an excuse, worried about rejecting her. "I'd love nothing more than to take a shower with you. But if we get in there together, we'll be a long time. And Alice will just come in and pull us out."

After a few more minutes of fondling and snuggling, Bella dragged herself out of bed and began dressing in the pajamas she had worn to my room. I continued to lie in bed, my head propped on my elbow, enjoying the show immensely. She was so fucking beautiful, and she belonged to me. My heart flipped with possessive delight. Bella gave me a sexy smile before exiting my room to find Alice.

As soon as the door closed, the monster plopped a party hat on its head and began skipping around the room, chanting, _"Our girlfriend swallows…our girlfriend swallows…"_

Although I was willing to accompany Alice and Bella on their shopping trip, even to serve as pack mule, they decided to go without me. That was fine with me too, although I had anticipated the pleasure of walking a step or two behind while gazing at Bella's incredible ass all day. So the first order of the day for me was—a shower. And a gratifying experience it was, although the closer I got to the real thing, the more I realized that my hand and imagination constituted a very distant—albeit still adequate—second.

After the girls left, I was a bit at loose ends. I relaxed on my sofa and thought about last night. I acknowledged that the BSR Plan had suffered another…blow. But there was no question in my mind that we could now toe the line. I mean, we had to. There was only one step left. The BSR Plan had basically turned into the "No Fucking Bella Swan" Plan. Every other barrier had fallen and fast. But there would be no moving me on this last step. As far as I was concerned, the ultimate act could wait until we got married.

 _Wait, where the fuck did that come from?_ Although it was just a random thought, the notion left me shaking and breathless. It was ridiculous—insane! We were only seventeen! Even thinking about it—just the mere possibility of considering it and giving substance to the idea—was scary and thrilling. I almost couldn't do it. I almost pushed the concept into the deepest, darkest corner of my mind to be ignored and forgotten. It was too dangerous and frightening.

But I didn't. As I sat on the sofa in my room looking out the window, I opened up my mind and let the idea take full form. And even that harmless little exercise made me tremble with equal parts fear and desire. The monster changed into a snazzy tuxedo.

I realized that on some level, I wanted Bella to be mine and mine alone. And I had for some time now. The feeling now pummeled me with such force that the yearning became pain. But unless they were members of some ultra-conservative religious sect, teenagers just didn't get married, at least not in this century. Maybe it would have gone unremarked a hundred or even fifty years ago—but not now.

Assuming this represented my true feelings, and at the moment it certainly seemed to be the case, what was the best timeline we could hope to achieve, even if Bella felt the same way? Perhaps if we got engaged at twenty and then waited until we finished college, we wouldn't garner too much attention. So, I'd only have to wait, what, six years for sex with penetration? Okay—no problem. The monster began banging its head against a wall.

That wasn't really the point anyway. This line of thought had started as an indulgence in a wild fantasy. And the conclusion was…the monster gave a drum roll…if I could I would run off with Bella to…Tennessee or some such place with a young age of consent and marry her in an instant. So I was right the first time—it was a dangerous idea. And if Bella ever found out I felt this way she'd be running for the hills of Tennessee all by herself. So I locked the idea away in a distant corner of my heart and set it aside to be savored only in very private moments.

In spite of the exceedingly pleasant daydream, I wasn't any closer to a decision on the timing for total abandonment of the BSR Plan. I felt confident in Bella's love, but was she really ready to…consummate our relationship? We'd been together such a short time. And now I'd come full circle. I ran a hand through my hair in frustration. The best thing was just to forget about it—don't even think of it. Just take sex, I mean the ultimate act anyway, off the table as an option and recommit to the last shred of the BSR Plan. There—decision made. The monster downed a shot of JD.

Bella called then to let me know they were on their way back to the house. I couldn't wait to see her, so I went downstairs to be there when she arrived and killed time by playing the piano. When Alice and Bella approached the door a while later, I ignored Alice completely and grabbed Bella by the hand to direct her away from the house.

We walked for a little way before I leaned Bella up against a tree and gave her a resounding kiss.

"I missed you," I breathed.

"So I see." Bella laughed. "What did you do with yourself while we were gone?"

"I thought about you. Can't you tell?" I asked as I nibbled on her ear lobe, pressing my lower body into hers.

"Well, hold that thought for a few hours," Bella whispered.

"Come to me earlier tonight," I pleaded, my eyes burning into hers. "No later than ten. After that, I'm coming to get you."

"All right," Bella agreed, her voice rich with promise. I kissed her a few more times before we strolled back to the house.

By nine-thirty I was in my room, wearing only a pair of pajama pants and an erection. I paced the floor waiting for Bella. The monster played solitaire. When she arrived, I shut and locked the door behind her before pressing her against it, thrusting my tongue in her mouth and my cock against her belly.

I untied the belt of the bathrobe she was wearing to find Bella gloriously naked underneath. I groaned sharply in appreciation. My overwhelmed hands didn't know where to touch first, traveling upward after a moment to cup and squeeze her breasts.

"Bella," I whispered into her neck as my hands roamed further down her body. I slipped a couple of fingers into the soft flesh between her legs and groaned again. She was warm and wet.

"Come," I said as I led her towards the bed. "I want to taste you."

She was beautiful and warm and yielding, and I loved her with my lips and tongue as I had done the night before, becoming more familiar with her body and its responses. And when she lay in my arms quivering afterwards, I stroked her back and gave her soft kisses. After a while Bella stirred and gazed up at me.

"Will you let me return the favor?" she inquired.

I must have been sending her some pretty strange messages if she thought she needed my permission to give me a blow job.

"Of course," I responded immediately. "There is just one little thing though. Would you mind if I sat on the sofa while you…um, did it?"

"I don't mind," she responded. "But I am curious."

_Because that's the way I fantasized about you giving me blow jobs every day for the last several months…_

"Let's just say I would find it very erotic that way," I answered vaguely, my voice suddenly gruff with need.

With a little bit of encouragement, Bella, naked and vulnerable, was kneeling between my legs as I sat equally naked on the sofa. As she took me into her mouth, I reached for her breasts. They fell into my hands as she bent over me, and I played with the soft flesh, gently pinching and twisting her nipples. Admittedly, there was one tiny brain cell screaming that it was wrong to have this goddess, stripped and kneeling at my feet, sucking my cock. Yeah, I let that thought go on for an entire nanosecond before I mentally squished it like a bug. After all, Bella was turning one of my favorite fantasies into reality, and so I let myself savor the experience. I couldn't prevent a steady stream of color commentary from leaving my mouth as I continued to knead her soft flesh.

"Oh fuck… ungh… Bella…hmmm…oh my God…oh fuck… that's…amazingly…pleasant…fucking…unnn… incredible." Those were the only intelligible words I could manage the entire time. The remainder of the sounds emerging from me consisted of rough moans and needy whimpers.

As I felt myself getting close, my hands moved to entangle themselves in Bella's silky hair. At the critical moment, I only barely resisted the urge to begin deliberately spearing my cock into her mouth. My body stilled when my release exploded through me, seeming to ripple endlessly afterwards. And I knew I could happily die at that moment utterly fulfilled. I pulled Bella into my arms and held her on my lap, sighing with joy. It just didn't get any fucking better than this…

The monster kissed Bella on the ass.


	17. Chapter 17

Waking up naked with Bella on Sunday morning was just as exquisite—an exquisite torment, that is. We ended up spooning again, my right hand gently gripping her breast in the night. The difference this time is that my cock, naturally iron stiff this morning, levered upward in the night to end up firmly encased between Bella's thighs and pressed against her sex. _Holy fuck._

The monster began thrusting its hips forward, and I'll be damn if I could resist the suggestion. Maybe Bella would think I was still asleep when she woke up and found me…fucking her between the legs. I mean, without actually…fucking her between the legs. After a few moments I didn't even care about faking sleep—this felt too damn incredible to care. I went at it in earnest.

A little more…lubricant would come in useful at this point, so my hand began caressing her breasts. I shifted her hair off of her neck, allowing my tongue and lips to join the party. When I bit her shoulder, Bella moaned and bowed her back, seemingly in invitation. It struck me then what little effort it would take to slightly adjust my position and enter her. It was so fucking tempting, I almost pulled away. But then Bella's hand went down and pressed my cock into her increasingly wet feminine flesh and stopping became an impossibility.

I continued to provide as much stimulation as I could elsewhere, but began to wonder whether our current, er…alignment was sufficient for her. My fingers, eager to touch her anyway, trailed lower until they came into contact with that sweet bundle of nerves, and I set about trying to assure that Bella would receive every bit of pleasure I could possibly deliver. There was nothing more erotic to me than seeing her arch in release before dissolving in my arms.

I still had one arm uselessly trapped between us, and it seemed a shame to not bring it into the action, so I rolled Bella forward so she was leaning toward her front and wiggled that arm under her to fondle anything it could reach. With my fingers massaging her clit, my cock stimulating the adjacent…territory, my hand fondling her breasts, and my mouth seeking out every sensitive spot on her neck and shoulders, it wasn't long before Bella was gasping and moaning my name, another big fucking check mark on the erotica scoreboard, by the way.

When I felt her stiffen and softly cry out, and her fluids drenched my cock, I began thrusting enthusiastically once again, angling my cock for maximum friction. I was making so much noise at this point I was afraid I'd wake the household, but it just couldn't be helped. It was such a glorious feeling rubbing my cock up against her most intimate flesh. When Bella adjusted one leg forward, increasing the snugness between her legs, I came with so much force I had to plant my mouth against her neck to avoid it becoming the…shot heard round the world.

After taking a moment to recover, okay maybe two, I rolled Bella over to face me. My eyes scanned her quivering body, while one hand traced her form. I have no idea why, but at the sight of my seed spilled onto her thighs and sex, a primal sense of triumphant possessiveness coursed through me. _Mine!_ screamed every nerve cell in my body.

 _Mine!_ insisted the monster.

I crushed Bella into my arms, burying my face in her neck and devouring her familiar scent. "Bella, Bella, love," I whispered.

Her arms tightened around me, and one hand began smoothing my hair back.

"Edward, waking up with you in the morning is so wonderful," Bella breathed contentedly.

And for just a second, I was tempted to unlock that secret idea stowed away in the farthest corner of my heart, the only one that made waking up with Bella every morning a possibility. Instead, I released her with a sigh.

The monster jumped up and down on the bed yelling, _More! More! More!_

Okay, now there was just one little problem. Since we'd been plastered against each other for the last few minutes, the spunk that now covered us both would soon begin acting as incredibly inconveniently placed adhesive. So, that whole showering together scenario, the one I had worked to avoid yesterday like we were unwelcome guests at the Bates Motel, loomed anew. And unlike yesterday, there was no Alice here to intervene. Well, we'd just had incredible sex—so how tempting could it be?

I let Bella use my bathroom while I traipsed down the hall to the guestroom. When I returned, I could hear the shower running. More than hear it—see it—as Bella hadn't bothered to close the door. Well, why bother when you're expecting company?

I took a deep breath to steel myself, but honestly, it was much more difficult than I ever would have thought. Seeing Bella standing in my shower, the water cascading along her fabulous curves, was a stunning sight. My eyes taking in something that I'd imagined no less than a zillion times made my cock react instantaneously and with great abandon.

And so I washed Bella's body—thoroughly and repeatedly—with some spots receiving absolutely scrupulous attention. And when I finished, I got down on my knees and had her for breakfast. Although the thought of Bella reciprocating in the same manner was pretty fucking alluring, my conscience really was bothered by the prospect of her having to kneel on the hard tile, not to mention the awkward position I would have to assume to be on the receiving end. So I opted for an alternative and couldn't help being briefly amused at the irony of Bella giving me a wank in my shower. But this time the mouth I kissed and the breasts I fondled and the nipples I teased as her hand stroked me were gloriously real. It was fucking wonderful, and I couldn't help feeling grateful to Esme for having installed that industrial size hot water tank.

Already eager for another round, the monster soaped itself up, looking hopefully at Bella.

After we finished, I began to wonder about the rest of the day and asked Bella whether she had plans.

"Well, unfortunately, I'm going to have to go home and complete my homework and then do some wash and a few other chores," Bella responded dismally.

"I won't see you tonight?" I asked with evident dismay.

"I don't see how I can possibly get everything done before this evening. I'm sorry, Edward."

"Don't feel bad, Bella. We've monopolized you enough for one weekend. I'll just miss you, is all." I wrapped my arms around her and held her closely to me, trying to ignore my rising anger that Charlie took such advantage of her. And I knew once again that she wouldn't be properly taken care of until she could be with me all the time. _Uh-oh. Entering danger zone…_

I felt absolutely bleak when I dropped Bella off at her house. You'd think I wasn't going to see her for a month, the way I was acting. I had been so spoiled this weekend, sleeping with her two nights in a row, waking up with her two mornings together, and having four—count them, four!—orgasms. I mean, not including the ones that were self-induced.

I helped Bella from my car and gave her a hug and a lingering kiss on the cheek, running my nose against the line of her jaw.

"I'll miss you," I told her again quietly.

"Me too. It was such a wonderful weekend." She pressed herself closer to me, sighing softly.

"You better go in before Charlie starts wondering what's going on. I'll call you tonight," I ended before sadly watching Bella enter her house.

 _Fuck!_ I really hated this. She should be with me. The monster exhaled dramatically before dabbing the tears from its eyes with an embroidered hanky.

And the week just got worse from there. First, I found out on arriving home that we would be going to San Francisco for the weekend, leaving Friday morning. Initially I was excited, imagining either a weekend home alone, having opted out of the trip, or three days together with Bella in the big city. Then my bubble was cruelly burst.

"Esme, I'd rather not go this trip," I remarked casually, anticipating no problem. "I've got a lot of school work coming up."

"I'm sorry, Edward, but you're expected to be there. As you know, it's Rosalie's birthday this weekend, and so we're going to celebrate it together as a family."

"Well, then can I ask Bella to join us?" I inquired, again expecting an easy "yes."

But the minute I saw the uncomfortable look on Esme's face, my heart sunk.

"Rose has indicated a preference that it be just our family this weekend, and since it's her birthday, I think we should accommodate her," Esme said quietly. I understood what she had left unsaid.

This wasn't Esme's fault, but I was so angry nothing could prevent my icy response. "So, Rosalie has seen to it that I have no choice but to be odd man out once again," I spat before storming from the room.

 _That fucking bitch!_ She had anticipated my request and made it impossible for Esme to acquiesce. Rose was worried that Bella might detract from her being the center of attention for even a minute. Fucking Rose—what was that famous quip?—she always had to be the bride at every wedding and the corpse at every funeral. What made it worse was knowing just how much Bella would love going to San Francisco when she had had so few opportunities to travel. When I returned to my room, the monster was throwing darts at a picture of my blond-haired sister.

That night, I broke the news to Bella on the telephone. I only told her that we were going to spend three days in San Francisco and that I was required to go because it was Rosalie's birthday. I obviously didn't tell her that I was unable to invite her, foreseeing that it could cause friction in the future.

"You're so lucky, Edward!" Bella enthused.

"Bella, I don't want to go! I'd much rather stay here and be with you, even if we did nothing, than go to San Francisco."

"Don't say that. It's a great opportunity. And just so you know, I'll miss you too."

"Did you get everything done that you needed to?" I asked, changing tracks.

"Yes, but barely," Bella admitted.

"That's my fault. I should have insisted that Alice allow you time to get your homework done while you were here. We won't let it happen again," I promised. I really was unhappy about that. It was selfish of both Alice and me to occupy Bella so much she was hard pressed to get her work done, especially when Bella had so many more responsibilities around her home than we did. And it was yet another reason for me to feel discontented.

"Well, I had better things to do," Bella responded in a voice that telegraphed a message directly to my cock.

"This weekend was wonderful," I replied. My own voice had suddenly gone husky.

"I'll see you in the morning, Edward," Bella finished.

"Good night, sweetheart."

It was not a good night for me though. I just felt so bereft without Bella there. And the prospect of the three days ahead when we wouldn't see each other at all was unbearably depressing. And it led to that secret thought again—the one that meant no one would have the power to separate us. As I attempted sleep, I told myself once more that it was an utterly ridiculous concept, but then I allowed it to consume me for a while as I closed my eyes and shamelessly indulged my deepest desire.

I couldn't wait to see Bella in the morning. In fact, I was so early Charlie was just pulling out of the driveway when I turned onto her street. What perfect timing. I entered Bella's house and practically dove on her. It seemed like days since I had held her last. Apparently she felt the same, returning both my embrace and kisses with enthusiasm. Our short time alone that morning turned out to be the only thing that went right the entire day.

Everything was pretty normal for a Monday morning until it was time to pick up Bella for lunch. When I arrived at her classroom, she was engrossed in conversation with James. She looked up and smiled at me, holding up one finger to indicate she'd be a minute. What the fuck could require this much discussion between the two of them? The monster growled at James.

I got my answer on the way to the cafeteria. It was disquieting at best.

"I am really not happy about this," Bella announced.

"What's going on?"

"Our history teacher is making us team up to do a huge project due shortly before school lets out. I was assigned to work with James," she responded. "I hate having my grades depend on someone else's work, although I have to say, he does appear to be taking this seriously. He was even pushing to get started on it today."

Fuck! _Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck!_ I'll just bet he wants to get pushing on something.

"Why did you get teamed up with James?" I asked, suddenly sure he had somehow engineered the whole situation.

"There didn't appear to be any rhyme or reason to the assignment," Bella replied. "The teacher just announced the teams."

"So what are you going to do?"

"We're going to meet at the library after gym to discuss how to proceed. I'll know more after that."

I was quiet and distracted the rest of the day. I didn't see how James could have arranged to be partnered with Bella, but it was very suspicious. It bugged me even more to see them exit the gym walking together. They both approached me, and Bella introduced us. He looked about as happy to meet me as I was him. The monster hocked a loogie at him.

"We're going to go to the library for a little while to talk about our project," Bella said. "I'm sorry for making you wait."

"You don't have to wait, Edward. I can give Bella a ride home," James offered excitedly.

I ignored the fuckhead. "It's no trouble, Bella. I'll do some work in the library while you're talking."

James immediately started into a discussion of their project, effectively turning me into a third wheel. When we arrived at the library door, he reached to open it for Bella and ushered her through with a hand on the small of her back.

That was my small! I mean, my back! Where the fuck did he get off touching my girlfriend? I was pissed as hell, but I'd look like a possessive idiot if I objected to it, being contact of a rather innocent sort. The monster had steam coming out of its ears.

They took a seat at a library table, James ostentatiously pulling a chair out for Bella one table over from where I was seated. I tried to bury my nose in a book, but couldn't absorb a word of what I read. Every time I looked up at them as they quietly conversed, it seemed like James was touching Bella—again, always in the most innocent of ways. He would reach across to point to something in a book, his arm grazing hers. Or he would touch her forearm to bring something to Bella's attention—completely innocent and wholly unnecessary. Plus, I swear to God, a couple of times when I looked up at them he smirked at me. Smirked! He knew exactly what he was doing. I was so irate I could barely contain myself. The monster stabbed James in the foot with a pencil.

To pour salt in the wound, by the time they finished their discussion and I got Bella home, it was too late for our usual combination make out/groping session, and so I had to settle for a few unsatisfying kisses before leaving. I was frustrated and tense, so the first thing I did on arriving home was . . . console myself. Twice.

Tuesday was a repeat of the prior day. Before heading to the library after school, Bella made a couple of innocent comments praising James' unexpected enthusiasm for their joint project, actually making me gape at her naiveté. Could she really not see what was going on here? The monster got out a pad of paper and marker, preparing to draw Bella a picture.

And again, our after school special got cancelled.

By Wednesday, I was desperate for physical contact with Bella. When I stopped by her house that morning to pick her up for school, I embraced her so hard she squeaked. My mouth took hers in a commanding kiss that left us both gasping. I recognized that James' behavior towards Bella was starting to push me over the edge again, but I felt helpless to stop it. My baser impulses to seize and dominate were coming to the forefront again, and the monster was roaring to be unleashed.

Wednesday afternoon required yet another spell in the library after school. Bella was extremely apologetic as we made our way there.

"I can hardly complain that he wants to do a thorough job, but I'm wondering if quite so much energy is required," she sighed.

"Friday morning I'm leaving town. I need to have some time alone with you. I want you to come to my house after school tomorrow. Have dinner with us. Promise me that if James asks, you will let him know you aren't available tomorrow afternoon," I pleaded.

"I'd like that, Edward. I can make sure there are leftovers tonight so Charlie has something to eat tomorrow. I do want to spend some time with you. Three days seems like a lifetime."

I breathed a sigh of relief and took a seat in the library, prepared to serve as chaperone once again. It was no less annoying or frustrating than usual, and I kept a close eye on James' behavior. At least he did appear to remain focused on their project. When James inquired about meeting again the next day, Bella politely let James know she wasn't available. As she raised her eyes automatically to my face, I thought I caught a fleeting look of rage cross James'. It momentarily took me aback, but I managed to convince myself that I was mistaken.

Nevertheless, I was even more relieved to hear Bella reject his suggestion that they meet on Friday after school, saying, "I think we've got enough to keep us busy over the weekend."

Bella packed up her books and gave me a dazzling smile as a sign she was ready to turn her full attention to me. I put my arm around her waist and led her from the library, managing to resist the temptation of turning around to gloat at James. The monster placed a thumb on the end of its nose and waggled its fingers at James.

And once again I dropped Bella at her house and drove home to…take care of business, thinking about what we would do when I got her alone tomorrow.

I was anxious all day Thursday and couldn't wait to get to my house. Bella and I spoke with Esme for a few minutes before going to my room to "do homework" before dinner. I locked the door and turned on some soft music. The monster lit some candles.

After Bella and I…made appetizers of one another, I held her closely in my arms, feeling relaxed and content for the first time in days. I was pleased that I had managed to control myself, the threat represented by James provoking greater urgency on my part, perhaps, but not displeasingly so. Eventually, I rolled on top of Bella and, propping myself up on my elbows, looked into her eyes.

"I want to ask you to do something for me," I indicated softly.

"Of course—anything."

"Will you promise me never to be alone with James?" I asked tentatively.

"Well that's an easy promise to make, but can I ask why?"

"There's something about him—I just don't trust him," I continued. "I think I have a pretty good grasp of human nature, and honestly, he troubles me."

"He's been a perfect gentleman so far," Bella noted.

"I understand that, but nonetheless I still don't trust him." I bent my head to give her a soft kiss. "Will you promise?"

"Yes, Edward. I promise." Bella quickly changed gears. "So tell me, what will you do in San Francisco?"

"Well, we'll have Rose's birthday dinner, of course." I frowned with displeasure. "And I'm going to do some shopping."

"Oh really? What are you going to buy?" Bella asked. Apparently she was amused at the idea of me shopping.

"I'll tell you when I get back," I promised. "Right now we better get dressed for dinner."

I kissed Bella again, and then let her slip from my arms so I could watch her getting dressed. That may have been a mistake. When she bent over to pick up her clothes from the floor, I audibly groaned. _Fuck me but what a fabulous sight…_

I had promised Bella she would be home early so she could finish her homework, and shortly after dinner was over I drove her to her house. After opening her car door, I pulled her into my arms and hugged her close to me, feeling utterly desolate at the idea of leaving her for three days. We said our good-byes, and I kissed her softly, watching her walk into the house before driving away. The monster burst into tears, sobbing maniacally.

For a while on Friday, I actually considered trying to make my family as miserable as I felt. Instead I remained silent, acting like a petulant child and glaring at Rosalie from time to time. After we returned from dinner Friday night, I called Bella, feeling marginally happy for the first time that day. "What are you doing?"

"Just watching a movie with Charlie," she responded.

"Oh, well, I won't keep you then."

"Call me in the morning if you can," she suggested softly. "I'll be alone then and we can talk."

"Okay. I'm going crazy here without you," I added. "It feels like half of me is missing."

"I understand—believe me. I'll talk to you tomorrow. Bye."

As I hung up the phone, the dull ache in my chest returned. The monster curled up in the fetal position.

In the morning, I declined all offers to join my parents and siblings in their various planned outings. In addition to commissioning Alice to buy a few things for me, I really did have some shopping planned. But a bigger priority was spending some alone time with Bella. After everyone had left, I put the chain lock on the hotel door and called her.

"Good morning, sweetheart," I responded to her "hello." "What are you doing this morning?"

"Actually, I'm still lying in bed," she told me. "Just being lazy is all."

I pictured Bella in her bed. I needed more details. "What are you wearing?"

"A tank top and some panties," she responded coyly.

"Take them off," I demanded.

"Seriously?" Bella laughed. "Okay, hold on." After a few moments, she returned to the phone. "All right. I am now lying on my bed naked. You have me right where you want me. Now, what are you wearing?"

"Hold on and I'll join you." I quickly shed my clothing and resumed my place on the bed. "Now we're both naked," I informed her in a husky voice.

"And we're seven hundred miles apart. So what's next?" she asked, managing to sound both amused and intrigued.

"I want you to touch yourself and pretend it's me. And I'll imagine it's you stroking my cock." And since my hand had already gone to work, I was starting to get a little breathless.

"Okay," Bella agreed in a soft voice. "So tell me what you're doing to me right now."

I closed my eyes and threw myself into the fantasy. The monster was frantically trying to find the "speaker" button on the phone.

"I think we'd better be in my bed for this," I began.

"Whatever you say," Bella answered, and I could tell from her voice that she was…getting into the spirit of things.

"So…I'm on top of you and we're kissing. My hands are…roaming up and down your body, lingering on my favorite parts."

"Like what?" She sounded a little breathless.

"The curve of your hips, your soft belly, your magnificent breasts. God, how I love your breasts," I panted. In my mind I could see their pale fullness, the exquisite pink nipples erect with desire. "I take one into my mouth and um, vigorously suckle the peak, before nibbling gently with my teeth."

"Uh-huh."

"I want both my hands free, so I roll us over and now you're lying on top of me. I love it when your breasts are…hovering above my face. I squeeze and fondle them both and…take turns lapping at your nipples and circling them with my tongue. My cock is pressed between us, and every…involuntary shift of your body sends a tremor through me."

"Hmmm." I could hear her breathing accelerate.

"While my mouth is…busy, I let my hands travel downward, trailing along your sides and stopping to grip your lovely round ass. My fingers start to…explore between your legs, and now your body is writhing on top of mine, sending…jolts of pleasure through me."

"Unnnnng," Bella breathed loudly into the phone.

I knew what I wanted now, so I continued without pause. "I pull up on your legs so you're straddling me and lift up your backside so I can scoot down the bed underneath you. I stop when your thighs are positioned on either side of my face. I spread your legs further apart so you're stretched open for me, put my hands on your waist to lower you…your…sex into my mouth, and Bella, you are powerless against me, captured there while I suck and tease you without mercy."

"Nnnnn… oh God…Edward," Bella moaned.

"Are you wet for me, Bella?" I groaned.

"Yeeesss, so wet."

"You taste so good. I thrust my tongue inside you for more. When I return to sucking and nibbling on you, you're squirming against me, but I am relentless with my…efforts."

"Edward…oh… unnnk."

"Come for me, Bella. I want to hear you come while I suck on your clit, while I hold you here helpless against my mouth."

I almost hit my own release then, hearing the defenseless sounds she makes when she explodes in pleasure. But I wasn't quite ready. There was one more scenario I wanted to act out.

"Edward." My name flowed slowly from her mouth. Even her voice had that post-climatic boneless quality to it. "Did you come too?"

"Not yet. I'm not quite finished with our love making."

"Oh…well…so what do we do next?"

"You turn around and lie on my stomach."

"I think maybe I can take it from here," Bella offered, her sultry voice sending shudders through me. My inconceivably hard dick pulsed with need.

"So, um…I turn around and lie on my stomach on top of you. As you continue to…um, tease me with your tongue, I…just…lick the tip of your cock to uh…taste the fluid that has leaked out."

"Oh God, don't stop now," I pleaded. It was even better when Bella did the dirty talking. I stroked myself more vigorously now. This wasn't going to take long.

"I…take your hard cock into my mouth and um…suck my way down. My fingers close around the base and I begin to move, my mouth and hand together, up and down your cock. Sometimes I slow down a bit, so I can…lick the most sensitive spots with my tongue. I really like it when I can make you twitch."

"Oh…yeah…um…me too," I rasped out.

"Then I use my other hand to um…fondle your balls, and I go back to work with my mouth, moving steadily up and down."

"Bella, I'm…going to…come," I croaked.

"Come in my mouth, Edward," she whispered.

"Oh…oh…fuck…Bella…ohmyGod…" Every muscle in my body stiffened, and suddenly there was projectile spunk flying everywhere. I lay there silently recovering as my breathing slowly returned to normal. No doubt about it—phone sex was pretty fucking wonderful.

"Bella?"

"That was, um…fun," she laughed. The monster nodded vigorously in agreement.

"Indeed it was. And it will be even more fun when I get home and actually do all those things to you," I added, the promise turning my voice to steel.

"When I suggested that we learn about sex together, I admit, this…possibility hadn't really occurred to me. Edward?"

"Ummm?"

"That was pretty hot—you masturbating while you're thinking of me. Do you do that a lot?"

"Uh…well that depends, I suppose. Exactly how much do you mean by 'a lot'?"


	18. Chapter 18

After a few "uhs" and "ums," I admitted the truth.

"Well, yes, I suppose I do think about you and…take matters into my own hand, a lot. I don't believe you have any idea how much you…affect me, Bella."

"Oh, well, I guess it's good to know I'm not the only one," Bella whispered.

My breath caught. Was she saying what I thought she meant? I mean, did she mean… _Oh fuck it—that was the hottest thing I'd ever heard._

"Bella," I breathed into the phone. "I think you'd better distract me, please. Otherwise, I'm going to get on the next plane home."

"So why would I want to distract you from coming home to me?"

"Oh God, you're trying to kill me," I moaned. "I'd give anything to be there with you—naked and warm in your bed."

"Edward, I couldn't wish for anything more than that. I do miss you, so much."

I rolled over onto my side, capturing the phone between my head and the pillow. It was as close to her as I could get to her at the moment. "And I do love you."

I heard a strange sound on the other side of the phone. "Me too," came her rough whisper.

"Bella, what's wrong?"

"I just miss you." Her voice wavered, sounding hoarse and watery.

Was she crying? I couldn't even bring myself to ask. The thought was appalling, heart-wrenching. My arms ached to hold her, to give and take comfort at the same time. The monster crushed a pillow in its arms, whimpering softly.

"Sweetheart, I'm thinking of you every moment. I can't wait to get home to you. Please."

"I'm okay, Edward." Her voice was clearer now. "I'm sorry to be so down. You don't need to hear that."

"Bella, dear God, please do not apologize." I hesitated a moment before continuing. Her response had moved me more than she knew. "If I had my way, we'd never be separated, ever again."

"That's a lovely thought." Bella sighed into the phone. "But now you should go—do something fun in San Francisco. Go shopping," she added with a chuckle, apparently still amused by the idea.

"All right. I guess I should go. If someone were to venture back to the room and find me lying here naked, I'd have a lot of awkward explaining to do. I'll call you tonight."

"Okay. Bye."

The monster gave a pitiful wave of its hand towards the phone.

I got cleaned up and dressed—again—and made for my destination. There was a lot of ground to cover, so I worked with a purpose. At the end of the day, I was pleased that all my goals had been accomplished. My satisfaction on that score was complete when I discovered that Alice had fulfilled her assignments with ideal results as well.

I called Bella again after we returned from dinner and we had a short, unsatisfying conversation while Charlie sat in the room next to her. Unfortunately, there would be no opportunity for any more…long distance sex, seeing as my brothers were around Sunday morning. All I could manage was a hasty—and lonely—wank in the shower and a quick call to tell Bella "good morning" before we all met up for brunch.

Unlike Friday, when I was still steaming about my forced solo presence in San Francisco, other reasons prompted my silence today. I missed Bella terribly and realized I could no longer be content in my family's company without her. The monster was fucking miserable, pouting and wailing in turn.

I was able to talk to Bella again from the airport, but it would be too late to see, or even phone her again, when we got home. I told her I would pick her up early for school Monday morning. She sounded almost as giddy with anticipation as I felt.

In the morning, the monster was waiting to leave when I woke up. I was so early the squad car was still in the driveway. I had to drive around a bit, killing time. When I pulled around the corner and saw the cruiser gone, I took the driveway on two wheels. The monster jumped out before me and tore towards the door, arriving as Bella opened it and clutching her calf in a death grip.

My own embrace was nearly as frantic. I pulled Bella into my body and held her head under my chin. Neither of us spoke. I inhaled deeply, and suddenly, all was right in my world.

My arms loosened, allowing me to tilt Bella's head back to kiss her. And when her tongue met mine, I was lost. Before I realized it, I had picked her up and without breaking our kiss, walked over to the sofa. Lying on top of her, within seconds I had forgotten everything other than my hunger to be close to her, to touch her at will. I had just reached down and pulled her T-shirt out of her jeans when Bella's hand pushed against my chest.

"Edward, we're going to be late," she gasped.

Her voice penetrated the fog of lust in my brain, and I stopped my movements. Disappointment flooded me momentarily, before she spoke again.

"Maybe we could finish this at lunchtime," Bella suggested.

"Good idea. I'd love to." I looked down at her jeans. "Perhaps you should change into a skirt before we go. In fact, I really, really like you in skirts, if you'd like to make it a habit," I added, my voice ragged.

"Okay then, I will. But you have to get up first," she laughed.

I took advantage of the increased access immediately, trailing my fingers up and down the silky skin of Bella's thigh as we made our way towards school. Of course, I was just making us both suffer. I had to slow my steps into school to give my dick time to…stand down. I kissed Bella good-bye at her classroom door and told her that I would see her at lunchtime, my voice dripping with meaning. The smile she gave me in response was so sexy I felt my heart lurch. Or perhaps that was something lower down…

I raced to Bella's classroom after the bell rang for lunch. James appeared to be literally talking at her, but when Bella spotted me, her eyes lit up. Mid-sentence, she interrupted him with a "See you later, James," gave me a brilliant smile, and joined me at the door. This time I couldn't help raising my eyes, only to find him glaring at me. I thought I heard the monster chanting "nyah, nyah, nyah, nyah, nyah" in a most childish manner as we left.

Leaving the building, I felt compelled to warn Bella again. "I have a feeling he is one sick puppy."

"What makes you think so?"

"I see his face—I can tell. He looks at you…like you're something he owns."

Bella looked contemplative but didn't seem convinced. I dismissed James from my thoughts as I anticipated our "lunch." After all, he would have no occasion to be alone with Bella.

Driving towards our secret spot, I couldn't help thinking of the days when I had come here by myself, having only my daydreams and my…palm for company. Now, many of those fantasies had become reality. Looking at Bella, a broad smile involuntarily erupted across my face.

"What?" she asked, seeing my expression.

"I'm just happy to be here with you," I responded as I brought the Volvo to a stop. "You have no idea how much I missed you."

When I opened her door to usher her into the back seat, she whispered, "Show me."

Okay, that was easier said than done. Once again I cursed my choice of vehicle. I was so trading it in for a massive SUV, or better yet, a van with a full size cargo hold, as soon as possible. Fuck the wasting of finite resources! There didn't seem to be any position that made…giving oral pleasure to her comfortable. Nevertheless, with determination and certain acrobatic maneuvers, not to mention manipulation of seat positions and bits of clothing, I managed to achieve my goal. It was somewhat less awkward for Bella to reciprocate, which, I am pleased to say, she did both skillfully and enthusiastically.

I held her on my lap afterwards, her head resting on my chest. I felt very content and utterly satisfied. Eventually, she stirred against me, raising her gaze to my face.

"Are you going to tell me what you bought in San Francisco?"

"Well…yes, I suppose I must if I'm to make use of it."

Her eyebrows raised in question.

"I bought a new tuxedo," I admitted, my face coloring a bit.

Bella laughed. "Really? Are you planning on getting married?"

I reddened even more. _If she only knew._ "Not exactly. My old tux was out of date and I…needed a new one."

"You have an old tux, too?" she asked in amazement.

"Yes, well, in the past, when we lived elsewhere, we regularly attended events with Carlisle, benefits and the like, which required formal attire," I explained.

"And you're planning on attending what—the Forks Ball?" Bella chuckled.

"Well, now that you mention it, I'm hoping to attend the Forks High School prom with my girlfriend, if she'll have me."

Bella looked genuinely surprised. "Edward! You know how I feel about school dances. Did you get hit on the head in San Francisco?"

"There's nothing wrong with my head. It's my heart, I'm afraid." I placed my hand over the appointed spot and tried to look pitiful. The monster assumed a waif-like expression.

"Oh, you." Her expression warmed noticeably. "Why do you want to go to prom, anyway?"

I nibbled on her ear lobe, looking to soften her up a bit more. "Because I want to see you in a lovely dress, with your hair up on your head, and I want to hold you in my arms and dance with you all night," I whispered between planting gentle sucking kisses on her neck.

"You're doing this on purpose," she said, involuntarily shivering from my attentions.

"Indeed. I will stoop as low as necessary to tamper with your feelings about school dances if it gets you to agree." My mouth trailed lower, and I nuzzled her breast with my nose.

"I have nothing to wear," Bella moaned in response.

"Your fairy godmother has taken care of everything." My fingers danced up her leg and softly caressed one fleshy curve. "So you have no excuses. Will you come with me, please?"

"You're cheating," she gasped. "Right now I'd agree to about anything, and you know it."

"So it's settled then. And we have to get back."

"Wait! If I agree to go to prom with you, I want to make a request in turn."

"That seems fair," I responded with interest.

"I want to spend the night somewhere—just the two of us—the whole night."

"And by just the two of us, I assume you mean not in my bedroom?"

"Exactly. Somewhere we can really be alone," she emphasized.

"Well, it won't be difficult to get a hotel room, if that's what you mean. I certainly don't mind being alone with you," I teased. "But can you manage it—staying out the whole night?"

"You know Charlie," she laughed. "That won't be a problem with even a slightly plausible cover story."

"Okay, it's a deal." I certainly wasn't opposed to spending an entire night alone with Bella, but I did wonder as we drove back to school why she thought we needed more privacy than my bedroom.

We were late back to Biology, but I took extreme pleasure from the two of us walking in together with satisfied expressions on our faces. I noticed a particularly sour look on Newton's face and genuinely relished that sight. Banner could yell all fucking night and day and it wouldn't matter a bit. Nothing would come of it anyway—I intimidated him too much.

It seemed we were falling back in the same routine with James. It was annoying on so many levels I couldn't even count them. First, regular after school visits to the library resumed. James maintained his practice of innocently touching Bella as often as possible. More and more I noticed, however, that he seemed to be gauging my reaction to such moments. I began to wonder if this was about Bella at all, but to assume it was actually focused on me seemed completely self-centered. Secondly, he seemed to press for her company with more vigor. When Bella would respond that further effort on certain days seemed unnecessary, James appeared agitated. And of course, the more time Bella spent with James, the less alone time the two of us had. Mid-week, I sought to address that issue when I dropped Bella off at home.

"Will you come for a sleepover with Alice this weekend?"

"I'd love to. Which night?"

"I don't suppose there's a chance of both again?" My greed was getting the better of me.

"Alice seems to get her way with Charlie. Bring her over tomorrow for homework after school, and we'll see if she can work her magic. Did you have anything in mind?"

"Hmmm." I nuzzled her neck. "A nice, quiet weekend at home suits me."

A small shudder went through her, followed by a happy sigh. "That sounds wonderful."

"This time, we will make sure your homework gets done. And if you need any help with your chores, you will let me know that as well. I don't want you having to work extra hard just to spend time with me," I admonished.

I assisted Bella from my car and kissed her good-bye. Then I went home to have imaginary phone sex…er, fantasize about having imaginary sex on the phone. I mean, think about having imaginary sex for real. _Whatever!_

Alice had no problem the next day convincing Charlie that experimenting with hair styles and make up for prom and fitting Bella's dress would require Bella's presence at our house the entire weekend. Knowing nothing of such matters, Charlie was completely helpless before Alice. Inwardly, I grinned like a fool, knowing that tomorrow night Bella and I would be acting out our phone sex conversation in real life. So naturally, I felt compelled to mentally "practice" the necessary moves in my head on returning home—like an athlete visualizing an outstanding performance before the game.

As a result, when we arrived at my house Friday afternoon I was anxious and jumpy. I wanted to get right down to it, so to speak, but didn't want to be rushed or have to leave my bed once we were ensconced there. In any event, Bella and Alice disappeared into Alice's room shortly after we got home, taking any opportunities out of my hands.

Instead, I was left trying to find ways to kill time. Since my favorite solitary…pastime was off limits, I tried unsuccessfully to read a book, and then made a futile attempt to divert myself with music. I was so at loose ends I eventually went to the kitchen to help Esme with dinner, thinking I could move things along that way. When I had exhausted the possibilities there, I knocked on Alice's door. The monster stood next to me, arms folded, impatiently tapping its foot.

She cracked the door open and wasn't surprised to see me. "Go away, Edward. We're busy adjusting Bella's dress."

"Well how much longer?" I whined. "I need to see Bella before dinner."

"Give me ten minutes and I'll send her up."

I went to my room and paced aimlessly. True to her word, a few minutes later I heard a knock on my door, and Bella cautiously poked her head in.

"Come in, please," I encouraged.

"Should I lock the door so you can have your way with me?" she teased.

"I wish. That will have to wait a little while, I'm afraid," I sighed.

"Then what did you want?"

"I was just tired of trying to stay away from you," I stated simply. I put my arms around her and gave her a torrid kiss. My mouth trailed down her neck.

"Do you like your dress?" I whispered into her skin.

"I love it. It's the most beautiful thing I've ever owned." She shivered in response to my kisses, and I smiled against her skin.

"Good—I'm glad. Alice fulfilled her instructions perfectly." I nipped at her shoulder with my teeth.

"You told Alice what to buy?" She sounded surprised, but also distracted by my endeavors, as she leaned her head to the side to improve my access.

"Indeed I did, or at least the general specifications. And I can't wait to see you in it," I added, my hands growing bolder.

Suddenly Esme called us to dinner. I was just as happy to be interrupted though, knowing it would move me one step closer to my ultimate goal for the evening. We had time for one last kiss before heading downstairs to eat. I'd be back up here for dessert though. The monster licked its lips.

Although I was all for disappearing directly after dinner, Bella thought we should put in an appearance with my siblings. We gathered in the downstairs recreation room once again, where the others were arguing about whether to play a video game or watch a movie. Having no stake whatsoever in the outcome, I pulled Bella to sit down on the sofa next to me and began my efforts to persuade her to retire to my room. The monster, ever one for crude symbolism, formed a _V_ with two fingers and extended its tongue through the middle.

While I had my face buried in Bella's neck, the others had obviously selected a movie to watch. The lights were doused, and my liberties became freer, my hand snaking under Bella's blouse to lightly caress her belly. She made a tiny sound in the back of her throat before deciding to get some payback.

Looking around first to make sure no one was focused on us, Bella brought her hand to rest above my knee. She began inching it upward, stopping now and again to delicately massage my leg. It was my turn to suppress sounds of distress now, and the sense of urgency I had battled all day flared anew. Since the next step on her journey would put her in direct contact with my increasingly constrained cock, now desperate for release from my tight jeans, I grabbed her hand and practically dragged her from the room.

"You have a nice evening," Emmett called after us, his voice full of lewd intent.

 _Asshole!_ retorted the monster.

When we reached my room and locked the door, Bella laughed.

"You're in a hurry this evening." She certainly didn't sound upset about it.

"Well, it was making me…anxious, being away from you."

She laughed again. "Yes, that's just what I was feeling—anxious," she responded in a mocking tone.

Bella practically jumped into my arms, wrapping her legs around me. My hands traveled to her luscious ass to help support her weight, and I reveled in the contact the position afforded, my hips instinctively thrusting forward to press my erection against her core as my tongue entered her mouth. The monster busied itself turning down the comforter.

I maneuvered my way over to the bed and practically fell on top of Bella. The need I had felt all week to turn our phone sex conversation into reality incited my movements. My tongue ravished her mouth as I managed to restrain myself—barely—from ripping her blouse open. After frustrating moments of fumbling clumsily with the buttons, I spread her shirt open, pushed the cup of her bra aside and clamped my mouth around her nipple like a starving man seeking sustenance.

I found great comfort in that small intimacy—so much so that my frenzied movements ceased entirely while I sought to maximize the sense of relief and fulfillment that this most fundamental contact unexpectedly brought me. I slowed to a speed calculated to inflict the greatest torment, plumping her breast in my hand to fastidiously suckle, lapping at her exquisite nipple, circling it with my tongue, until Bella softly cried out her pleasure. Then I raised my head to gaze at her lovely face, and my breath caught when I saw the passion reflected in her features—her eyelids heavy with desire and her chest rising and falling with her accelerated breathing. _God, how I love this woman…_

And so we brought to glorious life the fantasy we had acted out on the telephone last weekend. Once again I discovered that my imagination was so inadequate as to be laughable. I removed our clothing gradually, placing many errant kisses on her body as I enjoyed the slow reveal. Repeated expressions of delight and admiration in her beauty escaped me unthinkingly—she looked so lovely I truly could not contain myself. As she lay on top of me, I returned to worshipping her breasts with the fervor of a true believer. When I positioned Bella above my face so that my mouth had access to her warm folds, my hands roamed her body at will, and my eyes feasted on the sight of her body overhead. I was definitely in love with this position, allowing me to easily pleasure her while caressing her vulnerable belly and breasts and gripping the luscious curves of her backside. And when her movements became more frantic, I spread her legs wider and clasped my hands to her thighs to hold her helpless and trembling against my mouth.

Even when I felt her tense and a wrenching cry escaped her, I couldn't bring myself to stop. Bella writhed in earnest then, seemingly desperate to escape the pleasurable sensations. I relentlessly continued my efforts, instinct driving me, until she stiffened again and shuddered violently. Momentarily I had a flash of desire to tie her up and completely have my way, overcome with the idea of rendering Bella utterly powerless to stop me, making her beg and plead for me to cease. It was amusing that one fantasy could so easily inspire another, and I promised myself that day would come. And come. And come.

"Edward, please," she moaned. "You're going to be the death of me."

I released her, and she slithered her way down my body, collapsing against my chest. Her new position brought the incredible wetness of her sex to rest firmly against my throbbing cock, and it was my turn to jump. Internally though, I was basking in the orgasmic glow I had visited upon my girlfriend. _Let's see—two consecutive climaxes—what's that make me? Dr. Fucking Sex God?_

The monster began sashaying around the room with a huge set of peacock feathers plastered to its ass.

But of course, only scene one of the fantasy had been fulfilled. After a few moments of recovery, Bella began rubbing herself against my stiff length, and I groaned with need. I ruthlessly suppressed the sudden and urgent desire to roll us over and enter her, assuring myself that the current state of…affairs was perfectly wonderful. But the force and swiftness of that unforeseen yearning was breathtaking.

So I was pleased when Bella returned to life, raising her head to smile at me and adding, "It's your turn now."

I helped her to turn around, and gasped with pleasure when her mouth found me. One thing became immediately obvious. While this position had worked wonderfully in my imagination, in actuality, we weren't sized quite right to allow me anything more than a…fascinating view of Bella's intimate…parts. I supposed I could pull her legs closer to my face, but I was a little too selfish at the moment to interfere with Bella's reach, especially since she seemed particularly…dedicated to bringing me the same level of bliss I had… _ung…ohfuck…_ delivered to her.

So I let her… _fuckme…incredible…_ go at it without…interference for a while, enjoying the experience… _ohGodyes…gahhhh…_ more than I could possibly…er, put into words. Eventually though, I was so committed to realizing our initial plan, that I wound my arms tightly around her hips and rolled us on our sides so I could bury my face between her legs. Bella's thighs clamped around my head—another big fucking turn on, I might add—and she resumed her…mission with enthusiasm.

After a few minutes of…feeding on her, her thighs pressed tighter and it seemed like she was getting close again. Just the thought of her coming in my mouth with hers wrapped around my cock was…inspiring beyond belief. When I felt her legs close in a vise-like grip around my head, my hips began thrusting involuntarily and within seconds our orgasms were ripping through us to the accompaniment of various animalistic sounds of unbound pleasure. I rolled over onto my back and tried desperately to catch my breath, while Bella collapsed in place and did the same.

The monster, a beatific smile on its face, sprouted angel wings and floated up to heaven.

Bella was incapable of movement, so I pulled her up and wrapped her in my arms, covering her carefully with the blankets.

"Edward?" she breathed sleepily.

"Yes, sweetheart?" My own voice sounded worn out as well.

"That was three times," she sighed, cuddling close to me. "Let's not try for four tonight."

I softly snickered. _Captain Fucking Sex God?_


	19. Chapter 19

When I woke Saturday morning, Bella and I were lying on our sides facing one another. My nose was buried in her breasts. I could barely breathe, but apparently my body had no objection to suffocation by warm, supple, female flesh. I wondered what was going on in my subconscious that despite being asleep, I actively sought such comfort, even at the expense of getting air into my lungs.

I got up to use the bathroom and get a drink before returning to bed. After shoving the monster out of the way, I pulled Bella into my arms and got comfortable. She stirred briefly and relaxed against me once again. I sighed in absolute happiness. It was the most perfect moment of the day for me. I silently blessed Esme and Carlisle for the complete privacy they afforded us.

Which reminded me—why exactly did Bella think we needed to be more alone than this on prom night? Other than Alice, no one had even come up the stairs to this floor while we were in my room, let alone sought to enter it. Perhaps Bella had been holding back when it came to…expressing her…delight? Certainly if she were worried about anyone overhearing us that would it explain it. What a pleasant thought! Well, I would definitely call and book a room later.

I waited patiently and contentedly for Bella to show signs of life. It was really nice to think that she was comfortable enough with me to sleep so peacefully at my side. The monster, not as accommodating, began poking at her. Eventually she moved a bit, snuggling closer to me and murmuring my name. The feeling of love that washed through me when she did that once again staggered me. And I took that as a sign…

I resumed my original waking position and began gently sucking on Bella's nipple. Her fingers wound themselves into my hair, and a lazy "mmmm" escaped her. My hands went to work lightly stroking her body. My mouth began moving lower when Bella stopped me.

"Edward, let's take this into the shower, okay?"

"Whatever you prefer," I responded, continuing to plant sloppy kisses on her belly.

Bella moved away from me and rose from the bed. "Join me in a minute, will you?"

"Hmmm." I was too absorbed watching her beautiful ass to be more articulate.

While I waited, I tried to keep out of my mind the image that the words "Bella" and "shower" used in close proximity to one another inevitably created. But then I thought, why fight it? It couldn't hurt just to have the real picture of Bella in my shower "assuming the position." I joined her with a broad smile on my face.

When she turned to face me, I moved in behind her, stilling her with my hands on her shoulders. "Stay," I whispered. I ran my hands down her arms and intertwined my fingers with hers while pressing my teeth into that vulnerable spot on her shoulder. As always, it elicited a slight quiver in her body, and I smiled at the possession of this small knowledge.

I raised her hands in mine and placed them against the shower wall, indicating with my movements she should leave them there. Then I placed my hands on her hips and pulled her body backwards so her luscious ass was pressed against me. And oh my God, seeing Bella in that stance was such a fucking temptation. I mean, literally. I really was a sick masochistic animal indulging myself this way.

I generously soaped up my hands and began washing her body, starting with her arms. They weren't very dirty though, so I quickly moved my attention to her breasts, which I seemed to recall were terribly filthy. Oh no wait, I was the filthy one…

I washed Bella's breasts slowly and carefully, being particularly conscientious when it came to her nipples. Soon, she was whimpering helplessly and arching her back in wordless pleading. I continued fondling her breasts with one hand, the other moving downward to bathe her stomach, another relatively clean area I decided, before traveling further south to where my efforts could do the most good.

When I began exploring the soft intricate flesh between Bella's legs, she gasped and had to lean her forearms against the wall, her head resting on her hands as they pressed against the tile. I found this incredibly encouraging. My right hand caressed that delicate flesh with increasing urgency. Bella began rubbing her ass against my cock, whether voluntarily or no, and the rhythm and tenor of our exclamations of pleasure began to harmonize.

I leaned over her to improve my reach, which allowed me to insert a couple of fingers inside her, my thumb continuing to concentrate on my favorite spot. It wasn't my usual fantasy, but it was pretty fucking wonderful having her wet body captured tightly against me and letting my fingers have their way with her. She came suddenly, softly crying out her release as she first stiffened, then dissolved against me. I kept my arms wrapped around her to both lend support and keep her body plastered against mine.

The slickness of our soapy bodies prevented any real friction, so as nice as it felt to have my cock wedged against her ass it wasn't going to get me anywhere. Not to worry though. Once Bella recovered a bit, she decided it was her turn to attend to my…dirtiness.

Apparently, my arms and chest were pretty darn clean though, receiving only cursory attention, although thankfully my nipples were thought to deserve more thorough treatment. And Bella obviously believed my cock must have been absolutely plastered with filth, since one hand gave it repeated and intensive cleansing strokes while her other hand tended assiduously to my balls, looking to elevate them to a level just below godliness, no doubt. The monster was positioning itself for maximum stimulation from the shower head.

I held onto her as I came violently, my groans reverberating off the tile walls. Singing in the shower indeed… Then it became necessary to re-cleanse certain parts of our bodies which had been…showered with spunk. We hurried to wash our hair and finish up before we used every drop of hot water in the house. I wasn't sure what the next larger size hot water heater was, but I guessed it would involve installing a tower in the back yard.

Before we left my bathroom, wrapped only in towels, I drew Bella close to me for a kiss. The truth was I just couldn't seem to get enough of her. I could have happily gotten back in the shower or the bed and started over. Instead, I smiled down at her as she gazed into my eyes. I kissed her once again, quickly, and turned to more mundane matters.

"What's on the agenda for today?"

"Alice is probably waiting for me, I suppose," she responded. "I was very sternly instructed to wash my hair this morning and do nothing else with it so she could experiment. You know this is entirely your fault…"

"I know. I'm very sorry you're upset. I'd do anything to spend the weekend with you, but unfortunately, you alone are paying the price. How can I make it up to you?"

"I'll let you know later," she replied mysteriously.

The two of us got dressed and had some breakfast. Afterward, Bella disappeared with Alice for the rest of the morning. The only productive thing I did was book a suite at the Fairmont in Seattle for next Saturday night. It wasn't as trendy as some of the hotels, but I'd settle for five star luxury. Bella deserved it.

At midday, I knocked on the door and yelled, "I've come to spring Bella." When she emerged, her hair was dry and hung in loose curls down her back. It was very pretty, and I made sure to compliment her. But she looked so fed up I insisted on putting a stop to it.

"That's enough, Alice. Two and a half hours in the Cullen beauty shop is plenty—you're just gilding the lily anyway. And besides, Bella has homework to do."

Alice pouted; Bella looked grateful. The monster began experimenting with Alice's lip gloss.

After lunch, we spent most of the afternoon taking care of our homework. I finished mine relatively quickly, but Bella struggled with Trig sometimes. I was there to help if she wanted it, but generally just enjoyed studying her instead.

I suggested we take a walk when we were done. The weather was mild, the smell and feel of spring everywhere. We headed out back, holding hands and setting a leisurely pace. When we reached the wooded area, Bella gave me an unexpected quick kiss and whispered, "Count to twenty—you're it!" before taking off into the trees.

I smiled in anticipation and silently began slowly counting, taking care not to spoil her fun. I was pretty sure she wouldn't go too far into the woods, and after a couple of minutes of searching, I spotted something blue hanging from a tree branch. It was her lacy blue bra, so I claimed it and moved on more quietly, hoping to surprise her. The monster donned a deerstalker cap and tiptoed off.

A bit of wind revealed a few strands of dark-brown hair blowing from behind a tree, so I slowly and quietly snuck towards it. I came around the tree from the direction least likely to be expected and trapped Bella against it. She laughed delightedly.

"Did you lose something perhaps?" I whispered into her neck, my hands moving to cup her breasts over the thin cloth of her T-shirt. "Yes, I see that you did. I shall have to teach you not to be so careless," I threatened, rolling her nipples between my thumbs and forefingers.

Bella gasped. "Edward," she moaned. "That was a clue—now give me back my bra."

"Not a chance. Finders keepers, you know. I've been in love with that bra since I got my first glimpse of it when you leaned over next to me in Biology."

"You looked down my shirt? Hmpf, some gentleman you are," she teased.

"I am a gentleman, but I am also a man," I responded between kisses. "You have no idea what the sight of your luscious breasts in that lacy blue number did to me." I pressed my now rigid cock against her groin.

"Hmm, tell me all about it."

"I'll show you sometime. Right now we have to get back for dinner. Esme hates it when we're late to the table." I kissed her again. "We should run, in fact."

"Run without a bra on? No way. I'll be bouncing all over the place!"

"Umm, I know. That will be delightful." I laughed.

"For you maybe—for me it will just be…uncomfortable."

"Well, I won't allow that. We will walk back slowly then, and if you get uncomfortable, I will happily hold your breasts for you. See what I gentleman I am?"

Bella snorted. "Yes, I see. You'll pay for this later."

"I look forward to it," I responded, as I took Bella's hand to lead her back to the house. True to my word, we ambled lazily. The monster ran ahead of us, Bella's blue bra held above its head and trailing behind like a kite.

Of course, I was the only one who really suffered at Bella's missing…undergarment. For modesty's sake, before we joined the others at the dinner table she buttoned the shirt she had previously been wearing open. But I knew she was braless and so did my dick.

After dinner, she insisted on joining my siblings downstairs for whatever entertainment they chose for the evening. When the movie came on and the lights were doused, like last evening I began trying to persuade her to come to my room. Our gentle teasing of the night before had now evolved into all out war. As I nuzzled her neck, Bella surreptitiously unbuttoned her shirt and pulled it open. There was enough light from the TV screen to see the outline of her hard nipples against the thin fabric of her T-shirt. I worked to suppress a groan.

I redoubled my efforts, but Bella feigned indifference. "Is this your idea of payback?" I whispered into her ear. She shivered at my warm breath on her skin but responded only with a smile and a movement of her hand to my upper thigh.

She was driving me crazy. I continued on my course, nibbling on her ear lobe and running my fingers up and down her arm. My left arm went around her shoulder and I massaged her gently. I reached across her on the pretense of shifting my cuff to check my watch, brushing against her breasts. That had a visible effect anyway—two really could play at this game.

We enjoyed ourselves in this way for the first hour of the movie—taking turns at sneaking not so innocent touches but upping the ante each time. My fingers would snake down Bella's shoulder to linger above her breast. She would insinuate her hand under my T-shirt and quickly rake her nails across my nipple. I briefly pinched hers in retaliation. Finally, Bella won the war by simply squeezing in the most obvious place. I had to pretend to clear my throat to cover up my moan.

"Uncle—I give—you win," I whispered in her ear. She smiled deliberately, still not looking at me. "Are you ready to go upstairs?"

"Most definitely," she responded.

We slipped casually from the room and followed the relieved and ecstatic monster upstairs.

Since the thought of her unrestrained breasts had been taunting me for the last few hours, upon arriving in my room I immediately stripped Bella's blouse off her arms and raised the T-shirt over her head, throwing it on the floor. I practically growled when I saw her breasts and lowered my head to clamp my mouth about one nipple none too gently, making her groan and tip her head back. After a few moments of enthusiastic suckling, I picked Bella up and lightly tossed her onto the bed, ripping off my T-shirt and pretty much falling on top of her. My need had been denied for too long.

I lost myself in her. I sucked her tongue into my mouth as my arms tightly held her body close to mine. My knee spread her legs, and I began thrusting over her center. My control was slipping. Slipping hell—it had left the planet and gone to live with Jesus. When I freed Bella's mouth and my lips trailed down to her neck, I heard the only sound that could have penetrated the desire raging through me—Bella's voice calling my name. I slumped lifeless on top of her, realization and shame hitting me at the same time, rendering me unable to raise my head and look into her eyes.

"I'm so sorry, Bella," I whispered into her neck.

"Wait—sorry for what?" she asked, confusion apparent in her voice.

"For losing control like that. I was too rough. I'd never forgive myself if I hurt you." My voice was stricken.

She made a derisive noise. "I'm not that delicate, silly. You have nothing to be sorry for—I kind of like it when you go all caveman on me."

I was dumbfounded. "You do?" I found the courage to look at her, propping myself up on an elbow.

"Well sure, sometimes. It's a giant turn on, knowing you can't control yourself around me—that I drive you wild." She gave a delighted laugh.

"Okay, I'm confused now. Then why did you stop me?" My fingers lightly caressed her abdomen as we spoke.

I was surprised to see her face color a bit. "I wanted to tell you—ask you something," she replied softly.

"Okay."

"Um…never mind." She colored more.

"What's this all about?" I asked gently. "You know you can ask me anything." My fingers came to rest while I gave all my attention to her.

"I want to…that is…I want us to make love."

I inhaled sharply and didn't even pretend to misunderstand her. It took a moment for me to gather my thoughts. "Bella, we haven't been together that long. How can you be sure you're ready?"

"I just know. I love you, and I know I want to be with you." The monster ripped open a condom and thrust it at me.

"We're still young. I couldn't stand it if making love with me became something you regretted later. You have to admit, that's a possibility." My voice was thick with emotion.

"Why do you think I might regret it? Do you think you ever would?"

"No! Dear God, no. It would be the most incredible moment of my life. But are you really that willing?"

"Yes, I am," she said with simple sincerity.

I held tighter to the last shred of the BSR Plan. "I'm not worth it."

"Edward, how can you say that?"

"I don't seem to know what I'm saying anymore." I ran a hand through my hair in frustration. "I just want everything to be perfect for us—to make sure we're both really ready." _To make sure you're ready, that is._ "Do you mind…that is…can we wait a while longer?"

"Well, if I make a great effort, I can be patient," she teased. I was immensely relieved that she didn't seem hurt or too disappointed.

Frankly, I was convinced it just wasn't possible that Bella could love me the way I loved her. I was smitten from the first moment I met her. I wanted to be with her all the time—wanted to marry her. I wanted forever. Bella couldn't feel the same way about me. And that meant she might come to regret a choice from which there was no going back. I couldn't let that happen.

The monster fruitlessly tried to suffocate itself with the unused condom.

I stood in line.


	20. Chapter 20

I made love to Bella. I mean, avoiding the whole…penetration part. I tried to convey with every look, every kiss, every caress the depths of my feelings for her. Afterwards, as she slept peacefully within the circle of my arms, I lay awake with my thoughts in turmoil.

She had thrown me for a loop tonight. It's not like I didn't know she wanted me, but somehow I thought I would be the one to decide when and where. I knew I was ready, but couldn't bring myself to believe that she was—couldn't allow her to make a mistake. Although I recognized I was being a bit controlling, it was all for the best. I needed to be strong for both of us.

A sudden realization struck me. This was the reason Bella wanted a hotel room for prom night. She obviously wanted us to make love that night. How blind could I be? How had I missed the signs? Could she really want me that much? What in the hell was I going to do about it? How could I handle this without hurting her feelings? _Fuckfuckfuck! Stop it, Edward!_

 _Duh!_ exclaimed in the monster, shaking its head in disgust before heading dejectedly for the shower.

Eventually I dozed off, but slept fitfully. I kept having this dream where Bella, wearing only a blue bra and a short, pleated plaid skirt, was chasing me through the woods. Somehow she managed to catch me every time and then…have her way with me. And I have to admit, it was pretty fucking wonderful, although why I was resisting her so energetically was quite a mystery to my dream self. When the number of dream orgasms I had experienced sunk into my awakening consciousness, my eyes flew open, and I began frantically feeling the sheets, worried we might both be lying in a sea of spunk. Thankfully, the numerous ejaculations had occurred only in my head. I mean, in my mind.

When Bella awoke, we shared another shower. I really did immensely enjoy soaping up her wet body and groping her slippery fleshy curves and making her come with my fingers. There was nothing missing. Nothing at all. I wasn't dying to lift up one of her legs, spread her for my entrance, and impale her on my slick wet cock. And then mercilessly thrust my rigid length inside of her. Repeatedly. Until she begged for release. I mean, the thought hardly entered my mind while Bella stroked me to orgasm.

I drove Bella home after lunch, feeling the familiar increase of anxiety at our impending separation. She had decided that after being gone all weekend, she needed to spend time with Charlie, so I wouldn't see her again until morning. It was so difficult parting with her after our wonderful weekend. Driving home, I was once again saddened by how bereft I felt without her. At the same time, I knew I needed to think things through.

At this point, I had only questions—no answers. It was clear to me that on prom night, in our hotel suite, Bella was hoping that I would make love to her—no holds barred, so to speak. And so far, I hadn't been able to think of any way to delay the inevitable without admitting that it was only my reservations about _her_ commitment to our relationship that stayed my…dick.

We went back to our usual weekday routine. I picked Bella up for school each day overcome once again by the need for physical contact that even our short separations generated in me. Every day after school she accompanied James to the library with me in tow. I wondered if I imagined a sense of desperation about his attentions to Bella. Did he seem more eager to divert the subject to personal matters? Was he endeavoring to touch her, albeit innocently, even more often? No matter—Bella firmly kept them on subject and maintained her distance. Thankfully, their project would be complete by the end of next week, and neither of us would have to associate with James ever again.

Of course, after school studying meant there was no time for our usual…encounters. I wasn't horribly bothered this week though. As a matter of fact, I didn't even suggest any lunchtime eating. I mean, outside the cafeteria. I was so caught up in trying to solve the prom night dilemma that the idea of being alone with Bella and increasing the temptation just seemed a poor idea. Of course, that meant it was like a return to the good old days, where I was solely responsible for the satisfaction of my own tension. I was quickly back to multiple showers a day with a couple of interim wanks to keep my sanity.

Bella thought we should spend Friday night at her house, so we sat in the living room with Charlie and watched a movie. It was decidedly uncomfortable, for me anyway, sitting there with Charlie knowing I'd be, well, sleeping with his daughter the following night. Among other things. The monster, bored to death, snored next to me on the couch. About ten o'clock I threw in the towel.

Before leaving for the night, Bella and I spoke privately by the door as I relayed the plan for the next day. Alice wanted her at our house by two, so I let her know I would pick her up shortly before then. Esme was planning a light meal for us early evening, primarily because there wasn't any place in town suitable for formal dining. I had intended that Bella and I would have something to eat later at the hotel in any event. I mean, food too. Once we were all ready to go, we would come by Bella's house so Charlie could admire her. Then it would be on to prom. I reminded her to bring clothes to change into the following day.

"After all, we could hardly leave in the clothes we arrived in. What would the hotel staff think?" I joked, before a thrill of fear reverberated through me.

"I'll be ready when you get here tomorrow," she whispered with a significant look.

The monster winked at Bella and rubbed its hands together gleefully.

I gave Bella a distracted kiss and left. It occurred to me on arriving home that I should probably make sure I was sufficiently…relaxed to get a good night's sleep. After all, I would need all of my wits about me tomorrow if things were going to go my way. Not to mention that I didn't want to be…overexcited.

My night was filled with more strange and erotic dreams on which I capitalized the next morning in the shower. And mid-morning while I dawdled in my room. And after lunch before I left to pick up Bella. After all, there couldn't be too much in the way of…preparation for this of all nights.

After retrieving Bella, I deposited her with Alice and returned to my bedroom. I intended to go ahead and pack a few items for the next day and decided to take a quick run to Seattle and check into our suite. I wanted to make sure everything was taken care of and avoid the awkwardness of checking in with Bella by my side later tonight. It was while I was collecting my things that the brainstorm hit me.

The monster had no one to blame but itself. It was standing on the nightstand, pointing into the open top drawer and bouncing up and down. That's when I remembered the condoms. And that's when it occurred to me to deliberately forget them.

Of course! It was so breathtakingly simple. If I didn't have any condoms with me, it would make sex off limits. By the time we reached our room, the hotel store would be closed for the night. And I was pretty sure Bella wouldn't send me out in the night to buy some once we were ensconced in our suite. I was exceedingly pleased with myself as I drove to Seattle—problem solved! And like most problems, the solution was glaringly obvious.

As anticipated, the suite was lovely, with a spectacular view of the city and water. I made arrangements for a romantic supper to be served later and a few other amenities, left our bags, and returned home. Unbelievably, Alice was still tormenting Bella when I arrived home. I was afraid she'd never forgive me for this, especially when she found out there was no…pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. Bella didn't even emerge for our meal, Alice taking a tray of food to her room. So it wasn't until I stood at the bottom of the stairs, attired in my evening suit, that I first saw her.

_Schwing!_

My breath caught in my throat. I had never seen anything more exquisite in my life. I realized that I was gaping at her as she slowly descended the stairs, not to mention that my cock was rudely starting to point at her, but I didn't have the necessary brain cells to compose myself. _Fuck me but she's beautiful!_

The monster, knowing what was coming later, tore at its hair in frustration and sent me looks of death.

Even being aware ahead of time of what her dress looked like hadn't prepared me in the least for the stunning picture Bella presented. It was dark-blue silk, strapless, with a soft bow tied at the center top, its long ends trailing down almost to the hem. The skirt fell in gentle folds from under her breasts to a couple of inches above her knees. And her breasts! They seemed to defy gravity and several other fundamental laws of physics as they spilled from the top of the dress yet remained securely encased within. The machinations that must have been employed to accomplish such an achievement were entirely beyond me. Instead, I focused on restraining myself from taking a nose dive between them right then and there. They were calling to me, taunting me. I gritted my teeth and reluctantly unglued my eyes from the entrancing sight.

With her hair arranged in an extremely flattering manner atop her head, a few coy tendrils strategically left loose, there was nothing to obstruct the view. Alice had cleverly left Bella's natural charms unembellished, and she wore only a pair of dangling earrings to set off the length and grace of her lovely neck. I could not wait for the chance to have my lips caress every centimeter of it.

I wasn't sure how long Bella stood in front of me before I could manage to form words. The first sound to escape me resembled a low squeak, and I cleared my throat quickly before trying again.

"You look…lovely…beautiful…amazing," I struggled.

Bella's eyes were shining with happiness. "Thank you. You look pretty amazing yourself, Cullen. I like your tux—I'm glad you went for the straight tie instead of a bowtie. It's not quite as formal. I was a little worried I might be underdressed."

"I think I like you…underdressed," I whispered. My hands began reaching for her waist before I was startled by the sound of Alice screeching at me.

"Stop, Edward! Don't even think about touching Bella," she admonished. I could hear Jasper and Emmett snickering behind me, apparently already in the know about such things. The monster pulled out a stick pin and, no voodoo doll in hand, aimed for Alice's leg.

"You're kidding me," I responded crossly. It seemed cruel to make Bella look like the vision of loveliness she now was and tell me I couldn't touch—like putting alluringly wrapped presents festooned with ribbons in front of a small child and telling him he couldn't unwrap them but must content himself with looking. As my eyes once again dipped involuntarily to Bella's cleavage, I tried to forgive Alice, who had obviously gone to some effort to enhance Bella's already substantial innate beauty.

On Alice's instructions, I had bought Bella a wrist corsage attractively arranged with white roses. I presented it to Bella, and she held out her hand so I could assist her with it. Even I realized that a regular corsage wouldn't be appropriate with a strapless outfit but couldn't help momentarily regretting the lack of opportunity to rummage around the neckline of Bella's dress struggling at unnecessary length to attach one. Bella admired the flowers for a moment before gazing lovingly at me and smiling her thanks.

Alice handed me a soft piece of fabric which I unfolded to discover a lovely Chinese silk wrap with elaborate piano fringe decorating the sides. I arranged it around Bella's shoulders before reaching to grab her waist. Upon hearing Alice's noise of impending protest, I settled for enclosing Bella's hand in mine.

"Let's go show Charlie how exquisite his daughter looks," I told Bella.

"And where do you think you're going?" I heard an emphatic voice behind me.

I turned to find Esme holding a camera and glaring at me with disapproval. "It's time for pictures," she announced to the room in general. "You all look so wonderful." She beamed. "Carlisle, come and see the children."

It was almost twenty excruciating minutes before we finally made our escape, all of us being forced to pose in various configurations, although I knew I would be thankful for the pictures later. Still, I was dying to get my hands on Bella. The door had hardly closed behind us when I reached for her.

"No you don't, Edward. You heard Alice," she chided, moving backwards a step.

"Not you too? You can't expect me to keep my hands to myself when you look like this. It's just…heartless."

But Bella was having none of it. "I didn't sit there for endless hours letting Alice torture me just to let you undo all of it."

"One chaste kiss?" I begged.

Bella relented with a smile. "One small, chaste kiss."

I aimed for her cheek, but she sidled away a bit. "I've got makeup on my face," she explained.

This time I put my hands on her shoulders to keep her still—she could hardly complain if I touched her bare skin. I nuzzled her neck and planted a few small kisses along a path ending at her shoulder. I smiled when her body gave a slight shudder, thinking of later when I would make her react far more noticeably than that.

"You smell wonderful," I breathed into her skin.

"Alice put perfume on me," she responded shakily.

"What's it called? I never want you to run out of it."

"'Bal a Versailles,' I think. Edward…we better go," she urged, even her voice trembling now.

Unfortunately, I had gotten a little carried away. I mean, a lot. I could hardly show up at Charlie's door with the front of my pants looking like someone was on a camping trip in there. I sought to…suppress my reaction, but honestly, it was difficult. It was a struggle to keep my eyes off of Bella on the way to her house. In fact, I was starting to wonder if any of this was a good idea. How was I supposed to restrain myself when she looked like this?

 _I told you so_ , taunted the monster with an evil glare.

Seeing Bella's father was as good a tonic as any. I viciously expunged all thoughts of sex with his daughter from my mind and tried to look as eunuch-like as possible. The monster pulled up its socks and, having opted for a more formal appearance, straightened its bow tie.

Charlie made appropriate sounds of approval at the way we looked, although he may not have been altogether pleased with Bella's dress. I thought I caught him once or twice looking sideways at me with a threatening look, but perhaps it was just my guilty conscience. After snapping a few pictures, we were on our way.

There was no doubt when we walked into the school gym that Bella was the most beautiful girl in the room. Even Alice and Rosalie, who had arrived with Jasper and Emmett before us, could not, in my opinion, compare. And I'm pretty sure it was not my imagination that the eyes of every guy in the place instantly focused on Bella. I noted with distaste that James was among them, standing next to Lauren who was molded to his side like a sequined, overdressed sponge.

But none of that would bother me tonight. I was here at prom with the love of my life, looking so beautiful it ought to be illegal, and in a minute, I wouldn't let her out of my arms for the rest of the night. Even Bella's eye-roll after taking in the cheesy decorations couldn't dilute my happiness.

I left Bella alone only for a moment—long enough to dash over to the DJ, throw an obscene amount of money at him and demand that he play slow songs for the next two hours. Even in that short time though, as I returned to Bella I had to head off three guys moving in her direction.

"Now you're all mine for the rest of the night," I announced with satisfaction on approaching her.

"And what are you going to do with me?"

"Well, to begin with, I'm no longer going to worry about wrinkling your dress or messing up your hair. Everyone has seen and admired you now, so I can do with you as I will." And I grabbed her hand and led her towards the middle of the room for a dance. The monster swayed back and forth on the sidelines.

Dancing with Bella held close to me was like a dream. I loved every second of it, especially pressing her body into mine and feeling her breasts against my chest and watching surreptitiously as her cleavage became even more pronounced as a result. Oh, and the parts where my hand would accidentally slip lower down her back and I would discreetly push her against me. And when I got to bury my face in her neck and nip playfully at her skin. I enjoyed those bits more than I could say.

The DJ was true to his word. The music he played that you couldn't classify as slow songs still lent themselves to intimate dancing, so I was definitely getting my money's worth. I wondered if anyone else noticed, although I thought I saw Emmett give me a knowing look and a nod of appreciation. I suppose it was too good to last.

As Bella and I lingered between songs for a moment, Jacob approached us. My arm tightened around her waist in response. What the hell was he doing here? Wasn't he still in grade school or something, even if he now was noticeably taller than me and looked five years older than the last time I saw him?

"Hi Bells," he practically shouted.

"Hi Jacob." Her obvious happiness at seeing him was irritating in the extreme. "Why are you here?"

"I came with one of your classmates." He rudely pointed to a girl across the room I didn't recognize.

The way he looked at Bella was making me furious. I was torn between sending him back to his own date and placing my hands across Bella's chest so he had nothing to stare at. He wasn't even trying to be subtle about it.

The monster gave a vicious growl.

"Hey, you look great Bella—really wonderful," he added with a disgusting leer. I felt my hands form into fists as his eyes trailed downward once again. _What a pig!_

"Thanks, Jacob. You look nice too," Bella responded politely. Did she even realize he was undressing her with his eyes and senselessly mind-fucking her? They had an imaginary family of six before I stepped in.

"Well, it was good seeing you, Jacob," I snarled as I led Bella into another dance. _Buh-bye._

"You're being very rude, you know," Bella scolded me as I turned her into my arms, leaving Jacob standing there with a baffled expression on his face. She didn't look truly angry though.

"He was getting on my nerves. You look far too tempting to be in the company of other men tonight," I explained, not caring how much of a possessive idiot I looked. "You are all mine, Bella," I whispered in her ear, loving that even this small gesture sent a shiver of delight through her body. "I have won you, and I am utterly incapable of being generous with your attention."

"I'm hardly a lottery prize to be won," Bella murmured.

"You're much better than that—you're everything to me."

Her warm smile and gleaming eyes told me I was forgiven.

We had danced to pretty much every song, pausing only briefly to grab a drink. Bella spoke with Angela and a few other people, but I stayed resolutely by her side, fiercely discouraging all male interest. Once or twice I thought James may have been angling to make an approach, but either the expression on my face discouraged him or Lauren's ball and chain demeanor did the trick.

It was shortly after ten when I suggested we leave. Bella's relieved acceptance made clear she had experienced enough dancing, and frankly, after a couple of hours of being in close proximity to her, I was having trouble limiting my contact with her to acceptable public norms. The drive to the hotel would be torment enough. I was more than ready to…unwrap my present.

I held Bella's hand and kept my eyes on the road as we drove to Seattle. No good could possibly come of looking at her. Bella made idle conversation, mentioning several times how nice certain people looked or how well they danced and so forth, pleasantly reminding me how truly gracious she was. The monster fidgeted impatiently in the back seat.

Feeling extremely pleased that I had brought our bags earlier and there would be no uncomfortable moments at the reservation desk, we walked across the elegant hotel lobby to the elevators, receiving polite and sometimes admiring looks from people along the way. For some reason, I was oddly tempted to pick Bella up and carry her across the threshold of our room but restrained myself by imagining her puzzled reaction. She gasped when she saw the hotel room, turning in every direction to take it all in, admiring the flower arrangements I had ordered and looking into the bedroom before giving me a shy look.

"The room is fabulous," she announced softly, moving to stand in front of the full length windows and admire the view. In the meantime, I was taking great pleasure in the sight before me, the elegant line of Bella's exposed neck, the femininity of her shoulders, her lovely legs, appearing even shapelier because of the high heels she was wearing. And I wondered, could I really control myself? Did I have the strength to observe the one remaining stricture of the BSR Plan? Well, since I didn't have any condoms with me, I had pretty much painted myself into the corner on that one.

 _It's too bad you didn't figure that out earlier, you asshole!_ yelled the monster, before pulling out a Louisville slugger and knocking itself upside the head.

I approached Bella quietly, putting my hands on her shoulders and lowering my mouth to the back of her neck, indulging the desire I'd been fighting all evening. My fingers trailed down her arms as my lips and teeth delicately explored her skin. My arms snaked around her waist, and I pulled her body close to mine, pressing her luscious ass into my now stiff cock.

"Are you hungry?" I whispered between kisses. "There's food here."

"What kind of food?" Bella asked rather breathily.

"Pate', some cold meats, cheese, fruit—nothing that won't keep." I continued my assault on her exposed skin. "Would you like some sparkling but non-alcoholic wine?"

"Non-alcoholic?"

"Well, you don't think I'd give alcohol to the police chief's daughter, do you? Besides, I don't need it. I'm intoxicated by your very presence," I added, not altogether joking as I inhaled the heady scent of her perfume.

Bella squirmed in my arms, and my grip automatically loosened. She turned around to face me. Shy for the moment, she lowered her eyes and spoke to my chest.

"Everything is wonderful, the room, the flowers, the wine…you. It looks like a…um, honeymoon suite or something. So I was hoping that you might have changed your mind…that you would make love to me after all."

Okay, so it had taken an entire five minutes after entering the room for the subject to arise. I swallowed nervously as fear and desire battled for dominance within me. Should we have the discussion now? What if it ruined this otherwise perfect night? That wasn't something I wanted to risk. I took the coward's way out, but promised myself we would resolve the issue soon—just not tonight. Tonight had been too wonderful, would continue to be magical, and I didn't want to destroy that or disappoint Bella more than necessary. So I took a deep breath and played my trump card.

"Bella, you know that I want nothing more than to make love to you. But stupidly, I didn't think to bring any condoms with me. So I'm afraid it won't be possible tonight."

She raised her eyes to mine for the first time. She paused for effect. Then a self-satisfied smile lit her face as she responded. "Oh, that's not a problem, Edward. You see, I'm on the pill."

The monster took one look at my face and began rolling on the floor, laughing hysterically.


	21. Chapter 21

"What?" I shouted idiotically. _Wait, what had she said?_

Bella repeated it more emphatically. "I'm on the pill." She smiled serenely.

My brain digested this piece of information while I tried to calm my features, not to mention my pounding heart. The monster, still hiccupping with amusement, produced its embroidered hanky and wiped tears from its eyes.

"How long have you been on the pill?" I asked incredulously. I realized this was pretty much irrelevant, but I was stalling for time now.

Bella colored a bit. "A couple of months," she mumbled.

I automatically did the math. "Wasn't that about the time we started dating?" _Had she actually been planning this since the beginning?_

"I suppose it was, now that I think back," Bella replied, her voice deliberately casual. "But birth control wasn't my primary motivation—at least not then."

I stopped myself asking what that reason was, realizing I'd be completely at sea in a minute here. Instead, I turned away and ran a hand through my hair. My strategy was in shambles. The best laid plans had somehow turned into the best plans for getting laid.

"Are you angry with me?" Bella asked in a small voice.

"No, of course not, Bella. I could never be angry with you." _Just because you've completely undermined the last fragile thread of the BSR Plan?_

"Then will you tell me what's wrong?" she asked quietly.

As I hemmed and hawed, Bella's eyes got wider and began to glisten. _Oh shit!_ The monster looked even more forlorn.

Bella turned away from me and faced the window. "I'm sorry, Edward. I thought you'd feel the same way I did—that you would want to make love. I didn't mean to push you. I feel like an idiot."

"Oh dear God," I exhaled in despair. "Of course, I want to make love to you. There's nothing I desire more in the whole world, I assure you."

"Then I don't understand," she responded in confusion, speaking to our reflections in the plate glass.

There was no way around it—the discussion was going to occur here and now. I took a deep breath to calm myself and help organize my thoughts. The monster screamed, _this better be good asshole!_

I put my hands on Bella's shoulders and turned her to face me. I searched her eyes before beginning. "I need to be certain, that is, to make sure that this is really what you want. Making love—losing your virginity—that's forever. It's not something that can be undone. I'm afraid that you'll regret it—that someday you will come to believe that you gave something precious to someone who was…unworthy. I won't do that to you."

"How can you say that? That you're unworthy?" She sounded shocked. Bella hesitated for a moment, and then continued when I didn't speak. "Edward, you say that you're sure you want me, is that right?"

"Yes, of course it is.

"You have no doubts about your own feelings?" Bella pushed.

"No. None," I admitted truthfully.

"Then why do you think I might come to regret it?"

"I…um…" I faltered. I had no good answer.

"Do you truly believe that you care more for me than I do for you?"

"I don't know. Perhaps," I finished lamely.

"Edward!" The shock was apparent in Bella's voice. "How can you say that?"

The hurt in her face made me feel terrible. I was screwing this up royally. So once again, my thoughts came out in a rush.

I grabbed her by the arms and blurted out, "Because, Bella, I want to marry you. I think about it all the time—being able to be with you—with no one having the power to separate us ever again. I know you'll think I'm insane for feeling this way—we're way too young to get married. But it doesn't stop me from wanting it—from fantasizing about it constantly. I die a little bit every time I have to take you home—every time we part." I realized I was breathing hard and shaking her lightly I spoke. I dropped my hands and turned away before continuing in an unsteady voice. "I know it's crazy. I didn't want to tell you this. I didn't want to…scare you."

The silence was palpable. My heart thudded with dread at how she would react to my confession. The monster held its breath. Bella's response shocked me enough so that my eyes flew around to meet hers.

"Silly Edward," Bella crooned. She was glowing with happiness, her eyes shining now for an entirely different reason. "Don't you know I feel exactly the same way?"

"You—you do?" I asked, incredulity animating my voice.

"Of course I do. I think about us being together all the time too, and a time when we never have to say good night again. I hate it when we're apart, believe me. You have no idea how many times I've lain in bed at night wishing you were there holding me. Or how many times I've woke up in the morning after dreaming of you, disappointed to discover you're not with me. "

Well, perhaps I had some idea about that whole dreaming part.

"Since almost the moment we met, my life seems to have only two dimensions—the times I'm with you and the times I'm waiting and wanting to be with you," she finished.

Was it possible Bella felt as strongly as I did? I searched her face, looking for confirmation of her words. The monster, its glass always half full, began sprinkling a trail of rose petals towards the bed.

"As for the future, I think about that too." She dropped her eyes and colored a bit before continuing. "I've wondered whether we might…apply to the same colleges so we could go away together after high school. I haven't said anything about it because, like you I suppose, I was afraid you might think I was moving too fast. And…although I agree that we're far too young for marriage, I may have…written the name 'Isabella Cullen' down once or twice, just to, you know…see how it looks." Her eyes met mine and she smiled tentatively.

"Bella," I breathed, before crushing her to me. "I love you so much." I held her closely, fiercely. I could feel her body trembling, with emotion this time. My heart was soaring. It hadn't seemed possible that Bella could feel about me as I did her, but the evidence was plain in her words. I was emboldened and took the next step. "I'd like…to give you something…if you'll accept it."

I released Bella, and she looked up at me wonderingly. I reached in my jacket pocket and removed the slim black velvet box inside. I hadn't been sure I would offer it to her tonight, but some inclination had told me to bring it anyway. Taking one of her hands and placing the box on her palm, I continued to hold it there as I explained.

"I do realize we're too young to get married, as much as I may want it now. So an engagement ring was out of the question. Even a promise ring seemed likely to raise…unwelcome concern. So I had this made for you, and…if you want, I'd love for you to wear it."

Bella's hands shook slightly as she raised the lid of the box. She gasped when she saw the contents. It was a miniature diamond ring, hanging from a fine gold chain. Bella lifted it out of the box and admired it, the small jewel glittering brightly.

"It's a little ring," she said, amazed. "It looks just like a small engagement ring."

"Well, that was the general idea," I admitted. "I wanted to give you a ring, but I was afraid it would evoke a storm of questions and comments. So I had this one made—a sort of scaled down version of an engagement ring. And I had them put it on a long chain, so unless you choose otherwise, no one but us need know it's there. It's meant to be representative of both my love for you and my commitment to our future. So do you…will you…accept it?"

"Oh yes—Edward, put it on me," Bella exclaimed, turning around quickly so I could fasten it around her neck. My hands trembled as I fumbled to close the clasp. I gave the nape of her neck a quick kiss and put my arms on her shoulders to turn her around so I could see it. The little ring lay nestled in her cleavage, which was also somewhat representative of our relationship. _Lucky fucking necklace._

The monster, pretending to admire the ring, stared blatantly at Bella's breasts, flexing its fingers in reaction. I did the same. Then I did what I'd been dying to do all night and planted my face between them, nuzzling her soft flesh and inhaling deeply. I gave the ring a quick kiss. Really. I mean, I was aiming for the ring, not the soft, fragrant skin of her breasts.

Comforted by both our conversation and that close contact, I realized the moment of decision was now at hand. I had wrestled for so long with the…ins and outs of the matter, so to speak, but now was having trouble marshalling my thoughts. Just exactly why had I been so reluctant to…consummate our love? It seemed like a wonderful idea at the moment.

As if to instinctively allay any further doubts, Bella put her arms around me and whispered into my neck, "I love you, Edward."

Both her nearness and the sentiment she expressed made me shudder with desire. A low moan escaped me, and my arms tightened around her. But still, my doubts fought for dominance.

How could she want to give me such a precious gift? She was wonderful, beautiful, kind, a goddess on earth! She could have any guy she wanted.

_She only wants you…_

And what if she found someone she loves more? It would be too late! If we did this, I could never give her up—ever!

_You couldn't give her up, even now…_

I'm just not good enough. I'm not worthy of her love.

_Try telling her that—she loves you with all her heart…_

I've been lusting after her for months. I'm a monster.

_No, you're not, you're an idiot…. Don't you see? We only lusted after her—no one else—because she's the only one we love…_

And suddenly, I paused. I stopped all the doubts and all the questions. I embraced the monster and gave myself over to the moment. She loves me and I love her, and that was all there was to it. I mean, what the fuck was I thinking?

_That's what I say—let's fuck…er, make love!_

Something snapped. Whether it was my mind, or the last pitiful strand of the BSR Plan, I didn't know. Before my lips came crashing down on hers, I heard myself murmur, "I'm breaking all the rules now."

Released from the confines of that stupid fucking BSR Plan, my hormone fueled brain started forging ahead with visions of what was to…come while I ravished Bella's mouth with my tongue. We had all night though, so I slowed my movements and concentrated on making this the most memorable of our lives.

I released Bella and moved behind her. While my lips caressed the soft skin of her neck, my fingertips glided over her shoulders and down her arms, returning slowly upward to unfasten the hook on her dress before unzipping it. I dropped it, letting it pool in a blue cloud at her feet. Bella automatically stepped out of the circle of her dress, and when she slowly bent over to pick it up, invitingly arching her back, a low groan escaped me.

Perhaps a persevering Alice had managed to dye Bella's underwear to match her dress, for her strapless bra and panties appeared to be an identical shade of deep blue. Her pale skin contrasted alluringly with the dark satiny fabric, embellished with provocative bits of lace here and there. As she walked over to a nearby chair to carefully lay her dress over the back, I fixated on her appallingly luscious ass, and my cock eagerly jerked with anticipation. _Fuck me. Twice. Thrice even._

With her silken hair still piled beguilingly atop her head, and wearing only her high heels and those indecently tiny pieces of satin and lace, I gasped when Bella turned to face me. I was pitching a tent—a circus tent—a three ring circus tent—and couldn't have cared less how ridiculous I appeared, my eyes undoubtedly glazed over with…love and my hands reaching blindingly towards the object of my desire. The monster, drooling like a rabid dog, extended its arms forward too.

Bella approached and stopped in front of me, waiting expectantly. My fingers lightly traced the swell of her breasts, still enticingly proffered up in spite of the miniscule amount of support the bra could provide. My hands traced the delectable curves of her body. I felt like the proverbial kid in the candy shop. _What did I want to taste first?_

I placed my hands on either side of her face and bent forward to steal a soft kiss. I teased her lips—her incomparable sexy full lips—with soft kisses and gentle nibbles. As our mouths joined and I began exploring hers with my tongue, one hand slipped around to support the back of her neck while the other stroked the length of her back, pressing her towards my body and desperately urgent erection.

My next miscalculation of the evening was attempting the deadly "bra unclasping maneuver" one-handed. Apparently I wasn't quite ready for it, fumbling awkwardly for a moment or two even after shaking off the monster's "helpful" assistance. Eventually I achieved success without causing any permanent damage, slipping the aggrieved article between our bodies and letting it fall to the floor. My hand continued to travel up and down the smooth skin of Bella's back while my kisses grew more demanding.

My fingers slipped lower, inside her panties, and I groaned into Bella's mouth. I wanted to rip them off her, but controlling my urge I instead broke our kiss and lowered them to her ankles. I helped to extricate her shoe clad feet before rising to admire her perfect body.

"Exquisite," escaped me unthinkingly as I gazed at Bella. She slipped the jacket from my shoulders, and I shrugged it off, my eyes glued to her glorious form. The monster began whimpering and pointing towards the bedroom, but I wasn't quite ready.

"Bella," I whispered hoarsely, "take your hair down."

She smiled seductively and raised her hands to her head. The sight of her standing there, wearing only her necklace and shoes and lifting her arms over her head, was so compelling, so fucking erotic, that I had to take a step backwards in order to appreciate the view all the more. The monster fell to its knees and foamed at the mouth. Or perhaps that was me…

Bella slowly plucked the pins from her hair and tossed them, one by one, on the floor, a sort of coif strip tease. Her hair began to relax, falling in waves to her shoulders. Bella shook her head, her curls lengthening and spilling forward as she ran her hands through her hair.

"Dear God," I breathed. I wanted to commit this picture to memory—absorb every detail and brand it on my brain—so I could savor it forever.

I knocked the camera out of the monster's hand before slowly approaching Bella. So I didn't succumb to the temptation to ravish her right then and there, I picked her up and carried her into the next room, placing her gently on the center of the bed. Her shoes had served their purpose, so I removed and tossed them away, kicking my own off as well. Then I laid on my side next to her, propping my head up and continuing to gaze at her exposed body in a leisurely manner.

"That's not fair, you know," Bella observed in a soft voice.

"What's that?" I asked, full knowing where this was leading. My fingers began to glide across her abdomen.

"You're still entirely clothed," she pouted, looking adorably sexy and enticing me to take her mouth with mine.

"Yes, I know. I'm enjoying the…inequality immensely." I didn't even try to hide my delight at her increasing sense of vulnerability.

She raised her fingers to my tie, but I closed her hand within mine and stilled her efforts. I bent down and kissed her, tracing those delicious lips with my tongue, at the same time moving her arm upwards, bringing her hand to rest on the pillow by her head. I lifted her other wrist and did the same, stopping to relish the sight of her offered up before me, utterly defenseless, like a sacrificial lamb.

"Please," I whispered against her lips, and she understood that I wanted complete and unimpeded access to her body. My hand grew bolder, as did my desire.

I kissed her slowly, passionately, while stroking her smooth skin. I cupped her breasts, each in turn, fondling and squeezing the supple flesh. But I wanted to look as much as I wanted to taste, so I propped my head up again to watch Bella's reactions with growing fascination.

"Spread your legs for me, sweetheart. I want to see all of you," I pleaded in a guttural whisper.

She closed her eyes and turned her face slightly away from me, before parting her legs a bit.

_Not good enough._

I put my hand under her knee and slowly hitched her leg upward, letting it come to rest leaning against my body. Now I had what I wanted.

I returned to one breast, loving the weight of it in my hand. I gently pinched and twisted the sensitive tip, relishing the low moan that escaped Bella, gazing with fascination at the expressions of pleasure that flew across her face. I lazily tormented both of her nipples, loving her reactions and the evidence of the obvious delight I brought her. My fingers teasingly stroked the delicate skin of her inner thigh while my eyes feasted upon my ultimate goal. I considered it a small victory when one hand reached further upward, and her fingers curled convulsively around a slat in the wooden headboard.

I was in no hurry. I took my time, exploring her body, gauging her responses. When my fingers slipped downward, finding her warm feminine flesh, discovering the true extent of her readiness, I groaned aloud. She was so wet.

"Oh God, oh God," I chanted softly, before leaning down to urgently meet her lips. I enclosed her tightly in my arms, pressing her body to mine. Bella's arms curled around my neck, her fingers momentarily threading into my hair, before she snaked her hands between us to remove my tie. There were no objections this time, and I loosened my grip so she could unbutton my shirt, loving the feel of her warm hands on my skin. There were a couple of moments of consternation when I tried to get the damn thing off of me, forgetting about the cufflinks and struggling like I was being attacked. Luckily, Bella took charge, laughingly unfastening them so I could extricate myself. I quickly threw off the rest of my clothes and resettled myself on the bed.

I rolled her on top of me, tracing the lines of her body with my hands, squeezing her sweet curves, gasping with need as her involuntary movements caressed my erection. I let my fingers explore between her legs once more until Bella became frantic, her breaths becoming moans, her body wordlessly pleading for more. I was determined that she find her pleasure before we were joined, worried her first time would be uncomfortable and although I hoped not, possibly painful. In fact, that unwelcome thought was weighing on my mind more and more as matters progressed.

I pulled Bella's legs up so she was straddling me, lifted her slightly, and scooted down the bed. I positioned myself…strategically and lowered her body to…appease my hunger. As my mouth went to work with enthusiasm, Bella threw her head back with a sharp groan and grabbed onto the headboard for support. This allowed me unrestricted contact with her breasts, which I reached upward to tease and caress in harmony with the movements of my tongue. In view of the prolonged…warm-up, more quickly than I thought possible Bella's body arched and stiffened and she sobbed in surrender, gasping my name aloud. Well, that was pretty fucking stimulating…

Although more than willing, eager in fact, to continue the…ride, Bella dismounted and collapsed into my arms with a powerful shudder. I held her shivering body close to me, pulling the tangled sheet over her, although I knew that coldness had nothing to do with her reaction. I planted soft kisses on her hair, her forehead, her face. As always, I was struck with the inexplicable force of emotions that overtook me when I brought her such visible pleasure.

After a few moments of recovery, Bella tilted her head and looked into my eyes. As if to make sure she had my full attention, her hand went to my cheek, and she whispered, "Now, Edward."

"You're ready now then," I repeated profoundly, searching her eyes for any sign of hesitation. "Right now?"

Bella nodded, and I took a deep breath. While I was nervous, I didn't think my cock was twitching for that reason. One of us had no reservations whatsoever about this next step. Neither did the monster, which produced a set of pom poms and started waving them about energetically.

"If it gets to be…too much, I'm fairly sure I'll be able to stop," I advised her.

I settled myself between Bella's legs and her vagina disappeared. I mean, it seemed to, as my cock fruitlessly sought entrance somewhere. I reached my hand down to assist in…traversing the territory, locating a seemingly appropriate entrance. I maneuvered myself inward just a bit. _Christ now what do I do?_

I mean, I knew what to do, but how to do it? Fast, like ripping off a band-aid? Slow and gentle, easing my way in but possibly prolonging any discomfort? Why hadn't I gone over this with Emmett? I was already perspiring and I'd hardly moved yet.

Bella shifted slightly, probably trying to encourage me as I struggled with my doubts. Opting for a middle of the road approach, I slowly thrust forward with determination, still holding back considerably. And I was in. And it felt…wonderful. Warm. Wet. Tighter than I could have possibly imagined.

If it hadn't been for Bella's gasp and a bracing of her entire body, it would have been utter bliss. But seeing that she was in obvious pain, I struggled to stay still, shaking all over with the effort that entailed. The urge to thrust, and to thrust hard, was overwhelming. Propped on my elbows, I looked down at Bella, wishing with all my might that this not be too terrible for her.

"Are you all right? Does it hurt?" I felt like a beast.

"No," she replied softly. "It's…tolerable. Keep going."

Slowly, I began moving inside her. I mean, as slowly as I could. Why did it have to feel so fucking great? I hated the fact that she was at best uncomfortable, and at worst in real pain, while I was having the time of my life. On the other hand, with a growing sense of mortification, I also realized that the time of my life was not going to last too terribly long.

It was just too, um…fucking wonderful—felt too utterly amazing. Here I thought our previous encounters had been entirely satisfying. But this was beyond any of my expectations. And far beyond my ability to…prolong.

Much to my dismay, I was going to come—quickly—and I was powerless to prevent it. Perhaps it was for the best, I consoled myself. Bella had relaxed some, but I couldn't say with any certainly that she was enjoying it. _Mr. Fucking Sex God my ass…_

The force of my orgasm shook me as my spunk pumped into Bella. I cried out as if I'd just been released from the rack. It was my turn to collapse, panting uncontrollably, although I made sure to withdraw from her first. And Bella, in her turn, lovingly stroked my hair as I recovered.

I rolled onto my back, turning Bella with me so she could settle into my side. I didn't know what to say. My thoughts kept alternating between how unbelievably great sex really was and how much I must have disappointed Bella. I had to say _something_.

"I—I'm sorry, that wasn't very good for you, was it? I hope…well…that I didn't hurt you too much."

"Please don't feel bad. I don't think that first time sex, for most girls anyway, is all rainbows and choirs of angels. Let's just say, we got that out of the way and now it will get better."

"Yeah, I got that out of the way—quickly." I snorted derisively.

"So we'll both get better at it. Learning together—remember?"

"I just…want to please you, Bella. It doesn't seem fair that I was the only one having fun," I lamented.

"Okay, so next time I'll have all the fun and you promise not to enjoy it. All better?" she teased. "Besides, I seem to recall having a _lot_ of fun just moments beforehand. You always please me."

I sighed. I felt like a failure, although I wasn't so depressed that I didn't drool at the sight of Bella's ass as she walked to the bathroom a little while later. Well, I suppose it was a bit unrealistic to think I would perform like a porn star my first time. I'd just have to swallow my humiliation and speak with Emmett about it—get his advice. The next time _would_ be better.

Bella emerged from the bathroom clad in one of the hotel's robes. I didn't like that and looked at her enquiringly.

"I'm hungry now. Let's go see what there is to eat," she suggested.

I gave her a quick kiss. "I'll grab a robe." I headed to the bathroom.

She caught my hand. "Oh, no you don't. It's your turn to be…on display for me," she explained with an unfamiliar and predatory leer.

I hesitated, strangely embarrassed now that the shoe was on the other foot.

"I'll just drag you back," Bella threatened when my eyes darted towards the bathroom.

I followed her into the sitting room and poured us each a glass of non-alcoholic wine. Bella sat and looked over the available food. And me. I sat down next to her feeling extremely exposed.

"You have the cutest ass," she announced.

I blushed like a schoolgirl and turned my attention to the food. I wasn't hungry anymore, but it presented a convenient distraction. "If you'd like something else, I'd be happy to order it," I offered.

"I'm pretty sure I've got everything I want right here," she responded suggestively.

I nodded, confused by her tone. I watched Bella delicately nibble at the food for a time. Eventually, she noticed I wasn't eating. She picked up a grape and raised it to my lips.

"I think you should eat something, Cullen. You're going to need your strength."

Wait, what did that mean? Did she want to…were we going to…could she possibly mean that… Does she really want me again? Both my spirits and my cock were revitalized by the unspoken possibility.

Bella popped a strawberry into her exquisite mouth and surprised me by straddling my lap. "It's definitely resurfacing," she joked, looking down at my lap.

"You are observant, aren't you," I laughed, my morale, and er…other things, increasing by the second.

The monster circled the room, carrying over its head a large sign reading, "Round Two."

I untied Bella's bathrobe, spread it open and groaned in delight. Her exquisite nipples were exactly level with my eyes, and suddenly I was…very hungry. I teased each with my mouth and tongue, feeling particularly pleased when the bathrobe slid off of her limp arms and equal nudity for all was restored.

I rose from the sofa, picking Bella up with me, and strode back into the bedroom. We fell onto the bed, and the…festivities began immediately. My tongue roamed Bella's mouth while my hands did the same on her body. Apparently though, Bella wasn't looking for extensive…pre-game activities this time.

"Edward, I want you inside of me. Please," she breathed.

_Well, since you asked me so politely…._

I aligned myself, correctly I hoped, and entered her, slower this time. Not being as concerned about inflicting pain, I was able to enjoy the initial sensation much more thoroughly. I couldn't suppress a moan of satisfaction—being inside Bella was heaven on earth.

I waited a moment before beginning. All seemed well though, so I began lunging slowly into her, overcome with the sensations of warmth and wet, her tight walls gripping my cock. After only a few strokes Bella gasped, and I abruptly ceased my movements.

"What's wrong?" I croaked.

"Nothing. Please keep going," she panted.

I resumed my pace, still not completely convinced that something wasn't amiss. When Bella gasped again and then moaned, I panicked. "Am I hurting you? Should I stop?"

"No, no. It feels…wonderful. And if you stop again, _I'm_ going to hurt _you_ ," she joked breathlessly.

I could scarcely believe it. But when Bella's hips began moving forward to meet my thrusts, I had to accept her words. For the first time, I relaxed and was able to fully appreciate the stunning intimacy of our joining.

I let myself go. I mean, not like that—the only thing that would prevent me from accomplishing my goal this time was heart failure. For perhaps the first time in my life, I stopped thinking and immersed myself in sensation. I enjoyed each stroke to the…hilt, relished the nuances of every movement, and more especially, reveled in Bella's increasingly vocal and enthusiastic response.

Her gasps and moans continued unabated. Her hips thrust in regular rhythm to meet mine. At one point I felt Bella lick my neck, an appropriate action considering the inhuman whimpers escaping her. It was incredibly…encouraging. She wrapped her legs around me, eliciting another loud groan on my part.

I captured her with my full weight and began forcefully spearing my cock inside her. "Bella, oh God, Bella," I intoned, and my name escaped her lips just as often. I buried myself inside her, reveling in the primal connection, exciting unfamiliar passions I had only previously suspected I possessed. And in my head, I seemed to hear a rhythmic chorus of _"mine, mine."_ She _was_ mine now—I had made it so. My love for her knew no bounds, but at that moment delight in my possession of her rang just as strong. To see her, so delicate, so helpless, her fragile body writhing, trapped beneath mine, sent a savage thrill through me. And her shattering vulnerability only emphasized the knowledge of my own. I was powerless before her…and would be for all time.

I perceived that Bella was close. She seemed to almost withdraw into herself, becoming insensible to all but the pleasure she felt. It was electrifying and thoroughly erotic to see, no, to be, the cause of her rapture. A moment later her arms and legs tightened around me; all of her tightened around me, in fact. Her eyes flew open and she returned to me, looking into my eyes and crying my name aloud. And in a moment of glorious triumph, of shocking ecstasy, I violently released inside her with a long, guttural moan.

I disintegrated against her, sure I'd never have the strength to move again. That changed a moment later. I suddenly felt something wet on my face and lifted my head. There were tears leaking out of the corners of Bella's closed eyes. _Oh fuck. What have I done?_

"Bella?" I whispered, my heart in my throat. "Are you crying?"

"Oh Edward," she sobbed, throwing her arm around my neck with such force we rolled to our sides. "It was just so…wonderful to be that close to you, to really…belong to you. Making love with you is everything I hoped it would be. You've made me so happy. Don't ever let me go…" she concluded with a whisper, leaving me unsure whether I was meant to hear her last words or not. She rubbed her forehead against my chest like a kitten, and then relaxed, sighing contentedly.

Oh my God. _OhmyGodohmyGodohmyGod._ This woman was going to be the death of me. Her sentiments almost made _me_ feel like sobbing. Instead, I clutched her to me convulsively, trying to contain the emotions that were threatening to overwhelm me. The restoration of my sex God status took a far distant second to the euphoria, the adoration, the devotion bordering on idolatry that now welled up inside me. A sense of perfect happiness pervaded me. And I knew I could never let her go.

As sleep took me, I saw the monster, lounging on the sofa, light a cigarette and inhale deeply.


	22. Chapter 22

My cock woke me up in the middle of the night. Somehow the damn thing knew, even while I was unconscious to the world, that its perfect complement was within, er…spitting distance. My brain was murky with sleep, seeming only to recognize that the BSR Plan was a thing of the past. The wrong head took charge of the situation.

Bella and I had again ended up lying on our sides, spooning in the night. My right arm encircled her body, holding her closely against me. And the aforementioned…member had managed to insert itself between her thighs, aligned against soft, warm, and, it noted pertinently, invitingly _wet_ female flesh, receptive from our previous forays for yet further adventures.

Without volition, my knee pushed against Bella's, forcing hers to bend and her leg to shift upward. I rolled her forward somewhat, so she was halfway lying on her front. My cock sought entrance.

As I slowly insinuated myself inside her, enough brain cells engaged to want to ensure that Bella would enjoy my nighttime assault. I wriggled my left hand underneath her so I could capture her breast, groping the tantalizing flesh and teasing her nipple to life. My other hand stroked up and down her vulnerable torso, stopping to reward the other nipple for good measure before slowly moving downward. Bella gasped and then moaned when my fingers found their target.

I'm a little embarrassed to admit that I went at her like an animal. I mean, having been awakened from a deep sleep by my own…desires, I didn't have the necessary degree of awareness to protect her from my baser instincts. My lips latched onto her neck and shoulder, sucking and biting. My hands continued to massage their chosen targets. My thrusting became more insistent, punctuated by intermittent growls and moans.

Bella lifted her hands over her head and again, held onto sections of the headboard for support. My body instinctively interpreted this as a sign of surrender, submission even, given the increased access to her unprotected flesh, and a triumphant snarl escaped me. The abject dominance of the position, and my power over her delicate body, excited me beyond measure. My fingers worked harder to demonstrate their command of the situation, as I thrust relentlessly inside her. It was…unfuckingbelievable.

Bella tensed suddenly, crying out unintelligibly, and I did the same a moment later. I'd never paid any attention to how quickly my body could produce spunk, but it seemed that some mechanism had been working overtime, as I continued to pump into her while my strokes abated. For a quick moment, everything was wonderful. I mean, until my consciousness decided now was a good time to become wholly alert, allowing me to experience the full measure of realization of my actions within seconds of coming. _Christ, I had just practically ravished the woman I love more than life itself. What's wrong with me?_

The monster, eyes shifting in all directions, nibbled on the end of its finger and shuffled its feet, trying unsuccessfully to look innocent in the matter.

I stroked Bella lovingly and placed contrite kisses in all the appropriate places, trying to atone for my beastly behavior. She turned in my arms and snuggled sleepily into my chest, releasing a contented sigh. Perhaps there was nothing to forgive? I allowed myself to think so, primarily so I could return to relishing the latest amazing experience, watching the highlight reel in my head, as it were, and reliving the incredible feelings of mastery and passion. But this activity was putting my cock in mind of an instant replay, so I pushed the thoughts aside to join Bella once again in sleep. The next time I awoke, or should I say we both did, was Bella's doing entirely.

I must have sensed when she left our bed. My eyelids fluttered open to catch a glimpse of her entering the bathroom. The weak light creeping around the edges of the drapes indicated it was very early morning, sunrise perhaps. Content that our night had not yet ended and she would return momentarily, I huddled deeper under the comforter, endeavoring to compensate for the missing warmth of her body.

Bella re-joined me in the bed, cuddling closely to me. It didn't take long for me to realize that drifting back to sleep was not on her mind. She started softly kissing my neck and trailing her hands along my chest. Her mouth traveled to one nipple and she nibbled delicately, sending tiny shivers through me, while her hands sought new territory. Before long, her clever fingers reached down to stroke my cock, which instantly and aggressively reacted to her attentions. I gasped in utter delight and figured I better actively join the party. So we made love, quietly, slowly and gently this time, as if not wanting to disturb a marvelous dream. And my heart seemed to grow larger, attempting to contain all the devotion and tenderness I felt for her.

It was late morning when I really woke for the day. Bella and I were still curled around each other, so my movements prompted her to stir. She opened her eyes and gave me a sleepy smile.

"Good morning, love," I said, planting a quick kiss on her forehead.

"Morning," Bella said before stretching, inevitably drawing my eyes to her body. The monster, having joined us in bed, stretched too.

"We have a late check-out, so we don't have to hurry, but I suppose we should still get moving," I informed her, already starting to sense the pain I would feel at our parting. I ruthlessly pushed it away. "Would you like some breakfast?"

"Shower, first," Bella mumbled. She rose from the bed and entered the bathroom. "See you in a minute," she called.

Oh shit. _Ohshitohshitohshit._ My cock was already standing at attention, and at the word "shower," it saluted like General Patton had just entered the room. Wasting no time, the monster sped towards the bathroom. I waited a few minutes after I heard the water come on, all the time giving myself a stern lecture.

_Bella is probably very sore. You already took her like an animal in the dead of night—you can't be at her again. You have to control yourself. There's no reason why we can't take a shower together and still avoid sex. Of any kind. Just touch her with your eyes…_

And so it continued, until I found myself standing behind Bella in the shower with my hands shaking and my cock twitching. Why did the sight of all that water cascading down her body make me insane with want? I mean, of course, I knew why—all those fucking fantasies in my shower of taking her from behind, shoving my cock deep inside her, thrusting, plunging, sheathing myself… _Oh fuck._ I gritted my teeth and again counseled myself to stay a safe distance away. I was plastered against the tile wall farthest from Bella when she turned around.

Her gaze dipped downward, and she smirked. "Well, well," she mused.

"You noticed that, did you?" I answered sheepishly. "Just ignore it—it will go away."

"It's pretty difficult to ignore, Edward," she said with a laugh. The monster preened.

She sidled over to me and put her arms around my neck, pressing her body deliciously close to mine. "What is it with you and showers?" she teased. "No matter how little time has gone by since we last…well, you know, you're instantly aroused the minute we get under the water. Not that I'm complaining, mind you, but I do wonder why?"

I hid my face in her neck, mumbling my answer against her wet skin. "Because I always fantasize about you in the shower." Unfortunately, most of the words were still intelligible, because that got Bella's attention.

"Fantasies in the shower about me…hmmm." She wickedly rubbed her body against mine. "Show me," she whispered.

I balked, knowing this was one fantasy I could not fulfill and still be gentle with her. "You must be sore already, sweetheart. I don't want to hurt you again."

"I am a little sore. But you know what? Every time I feel it, I'm going to think of last night and smile. So, come and get it then…"

I inhaled sharply before taking her mouth with mine, kissing her fiercely. When air became a necessity, my lips moved to her neck and shoulder, while my hands caressed her slippery flesh, roughly groping every sweet curve of her body. I crushed her to me, pressing her against my erection, desperate to find the friction it craved.

I tried to reign in the monster but knew it was useless. Raw desire had taken over, and it alone guided my movements. I knew exactly how I wanted this to play out and determined right then to gratify Bella first so I could be as selfish as I wanted at the critical time. That approach would also afford me the charming opportunity to watch as she dissolved in my arms, another big turn on for Mr. Fucking Sex God.

The monster donned a baseball cap and signaled me to steal home.

I turned Bella around and pulled her back against me, my rigid length becoming conveniently and delightfully wedged against the cleft of her ass. I trailed my hands slowly up the curves of her body, worshipping her alluringly feminine form, before moving to her breasts and inflicting the most teasingly light pinches on their sensitive tips. Bella stirred restlessly against me, whimpering a little in obvious need, sending delicious sensations through both my cock and my ego. My hands squeezed her breasts and then stroked her smooth belly, before dipping downward to flick against the delicate folds between her legs. But I wanted her helpless. And so I continued the taunting, the tormenting, my fingers making quick feints against her nipples and reaching between her legs to fleetingly tease, while my lips and teeth assailed the most receptive areas on her neck and shoulders. I was without mercy in my campaign. Before long, Bella was whimpering in earnest, the sounds punctuated only by occasional weak moans, her head turning from side to side, her body squirming sinfully against mine.

When my own need reached an intolerable level, one hand maintained its position manipulating her sensitive flesh, while the other squeezed her nipple in a deliberate rhythm. It seemed only seconds before Bella cried out and tensed against me, her movements eventually becoming more agitated in an attempt to escape my attentions. I wouldn't let that happen, but my efforts trailed off and then ceased entirely, and I held her tightly for a few moments. _Christ, but I loved doing that._

Now it was well and truly my turn, and I would have it. I moved Bella somewhat closer to the tile wall, running my hands down her arms and taking hers in mine. As I had done once before, I placed them against the shower wall, leaning over her in the process. My hands brusquely massaged her luscious breasts for a few moments while I whispered, "Arch your back for me, sweetheart."

When I felt her ass press closer to me, a sharp groan escaped. I straightened up, tracing my hands down her back, enraptured with the sight of her spread and ready for me. She moved her hips teasingly against me, increasing the sense of urgency now consuming me. Unable to resist another moment, I positioned myself and entered her roughly.

And oh God, it was bliss—utter fucking bliss. My hands clasped her hips, holding her in place, restraining her for my pleasure. She was wet and warm and oh so tight, and I took full advantage of her helplessness, each stroke harder, each thrust deeper, trying desperately to hang on and prolong the incredible sensations to the greatest possible extent. Yes, on some level, I understood that this was the woman I adored, and yet I appeared to be treating her as nothing more than a receptacle for my lust. But I also knew I loved her beyond hope and wanted no other. That had to be enough to assuage my conscience. So I gave no more thought to it, as I indulged myself completely, seeking only to maximize the gratification I took. Too soon I had to let myself go—my body unleashing—desperately needing to spill my seed inside her and mark her in the most primitive of ways from the most primitive of positions.

I came like a wild beast, or at least I sounded like one. I leaned over Bella, one hand clutching her breast, the other pressed against her belly, holding her to me, sustaining our connection, as my release erupted inside her. I let her help support my weight for a moment or two before gaining the strength to stand upright, turn her in my arms and hold her tightly against me. I wondered if she would ever comprehend how much that experience meant to me—how the unconditional giving of her body, demonstrating her complete trust in me, made me love her even more.

"So, did that live up to your fantasy?" Bella whispered shyly.

Just give me a minute to restart my heart, and then I'll answer," I joked breathlessly.

I continued to hold her closely while my respiration and pounding heart calmed. Finally, I tilted her head back and, looking into her eyes, I responded in all sincerity, "There is no fantasy in the world that could ever approach the wonder of being with you. You are my dream come true, Bella."

Her response shone in her eyes. "I could say the same thing about you," she replied quietly. Then her hand dropped to the small ring lying between her breasts. She fingered it for a moment, blinking rapidly a few times, before hugging me tightly again.

Perversely, my spirits were somewhat cheered by Bella's obvious sadness at our pending departure, as it made my ultimate goal of being with her always, forever, seem more likely. Perhaps she was no more inclined to wait indefinitely for that time as I was? I kissed her deeply and passionately, finally releasing her to gently cleanse her body and wash away the evidence of our lovemaking. Of course, by that time, my body was starting to react—again.

"Let's get out of here before I do something really stupid," I murmured, as I turned off the water.

As we emerged from the shower, it occurred to me that the size of the hot water tank in the hotel had well justified the exorbitant sum I had paid for the suite—cheap, in fact, at twice the price. I could see myself becoming a regular guest here. The monster, meanwhile, licked the lead end of a pencil before placing a bold checkmark in a box next to some unidentifiable words on an apparently endless list.

We ate breakfast, or brunch I suppose, looking out through the windows at the fabulous view. I tried desperately to keep my spirits up, but thoughts of our forthcoming separation again began weighing heavily on me. Gathering up our few belongings and getting ready to leave was even more depressing. I gave the hotel suite, suddenly my favorite place on the face of the planet, a longing sigh before departing the room.

It was after two when I dropped Bella off at her home.

"Will I see you tonight?" I asked dejectedly, already anticipating the answer.

"I really think I should have some face time with Charlie," Bella responded sadly.

I nodded grimly, trying to push away the sense of sorrow that overcame me. I honestly felt like crying. To have to part with her after the most exquisite night of my life was painful in the extreme. She was mine now—why did I have to give her back? It just wasn't fair… I assisted Bella from the car and kissed her gently, watching her retreating figure as she approached the door.

The monster, refusing to be deterred, produced a suitcase of clothes and marched determinedly alongside Bella into the house.

After arriving home, I lay on my bed, thinking about how truly wonderful our night had been and deeply lamenting the loss of Bella's company. I tried desperately to think of ways that we could be together, knowing that marriage was the only answer, and at the moment, it would be unacceptable to everyone but me. If only there was some way to force the issue?

My desperation was such that I actually seriously considered various scenarios to that effect. Maybe there was a way to make Bella's birth control pills disappear? I sighed, knowing I could never do anything like that. The idea of Bella carrying my child was wonderful, magical even, but not for right now and definitely not brought about by such means. Perhaps I could arrange for Charlie to find us in a compromising position? I let my imagination run away with me, resulting in delightful visions of Charlie catching us in the act, pulling out his gun and marching us summarily off to the preacher. _God, wouldn't that be great?_

Imaginings such as this filled my head, until eventually I nodded off, still weary from my…disrupted sleep of the night before. Dreams of Bella in a long white dress, a joyous smile on her face, filled my head, until for some reason it started raining, and the rain turned into water cascading from a monsoon shower head, and suddenly Bella was naked and leaning against the wall and… Well, you know the rest, I suppose.

I became aware of a throbbing ache. My cock woke me up—again. I was sweating and sporting a massive hard on uncomfortably imprisoned in my jeans. A…shower seemed in order, despite the tenderness of certain body parts. And the irony of having a wank in the shower, while I reminisced about fucking Bella in the shower, which I had been compelled to do because I had fantasized about having her in the shower so many times… I mean, well, you know what I mean. It seemed I had created a circular dilemma, one with no possible resolution. It would require a lifetime commitment to properly address the issue, I reflected with glee.

The monster smiled wickedly.


	23. Chapter 23

The minute I saw Bella the next morning, I felt the change. Everything seemed different. The whole world seemed different. I couldn't really identify what it was, but I could sense it. Perhaps it was that she was mine now, and I knew it and she knew it and from the way we were acting, soon the whole world would know it.

We didn't even exchange a word after she opened her door for me. I kissed her passionately and held her closely for a full minute, regaining the feeling of harmony that always occurred in these moments—the world again spun on its axis. The cessation of anxiety that occurred, and the pure happiness I felt upon seeing her, holding her, kissing her, never ceased to amaze me. The time from when I dropped her off in the afternoon or early evening, until I saw her again the next morning, seemed empty and meaningless. I mean, other than the time I spent, uh…thinking of her.

We were silent even on the way to school, although we both wore stupid grins that spoke volumes. Even the monster looked completely idiotic, splayed on Bella's lap, making eyes at her and blowing kisses. Arriving at her classroom door, I pushed her hair from her neck and kissed her softly. The smile she gave me was so loving, so fucking compelling, I almost grabbed her and left the building. Instead, I stalked off before I could succumb to the temptation, leaving the monster torn with indecision in the hallway.

We exchanged our first words of the day in the cafeteria.

"I thought you might want to go…out to lunch today," Bella informed me.

"I did," I admitted with embarrassment. "But after being such an insatiable brute yesterday, I thought you might be too sore. I was trying to be considerate."

"Well, try not to be too considerate tomorrow." Bella laughed.

My answering grin lit the lunchroom. "I'll fight the inclination if it kills me," I promised.

And I noticed it again after lunch, as we made our way to Biology. It just seemed so natural for us to stroll arm in arm through the hallway, ignoring the stares we inevitably garnered, to gaze down at her as we walked and find her looking up at me lovingly, to plant a kiss on her neck or cheek or behind her ear and delight in her barely perceptible response. There was just a new sense of rightness about being with Bella—a sense of permanence perhaps, that no one could ever tear us apart.

Whether or not that contributed to my complacency about James, I don't really know. During the inevitable after school library session that afternoon, I admit I saw the growing tension in his manner. His glances in my direction increased in frequency and intensity, and sometimes I thought I saw undisguised hostility there. And even though the looks he gave Bella could be described at times as hungry, my newfound sense of security lulled me into smug contentment. The monster was never fooled…

I dropped Bella off after school, looking forward to the day when this fucking project would be done and her time would belong to me again. James was the last thing on my mind when I arrived home. Instead, the first thing I did was spend time…working through the possible variations on our lunchtime excursion tomorrow. I looked forward to the next day more than I could say.

I dropped Bella off at her first class of the day, whispering in her ear, "I'll see you at lunch." Time dragged unbearably all morning. When fourth period finally ended, I practically sprinted to Bella's classroom. No surprise, James was talking away at Bella, who smiled in welcome the second I appeared and gathered her things. The monster directed a vicious sneer at James, and anxious to get away, I stupidly ignored him.

Bella and I jumped in my Volvo, almost giddy with anticipation. After starting the car and pulling out of the parking lot, I handed Bella a brown paper bag, which she accepted with a questioning look.

"You brought a snack?" she asked, amused, finding the sandwiches, apples, and granola bars I had thrown together this morning.

"I didn't want you to go hungry," I admitted.

"There are other kinds of hungers," she teased, her voice sending a shiver down my spine. I accelerated the car. The monster, head stuck out the window, looked eagerly ahead for our customary spot.

On arrival, we relocated to the back seat, although whether that was an improvement was questionable. I cursed my choice of car yet again. I had been so taken with the car's performance I hadn't thought about my ability to perform in it. I mean, not that I would have at the time. Thank God I hadn't bought the mini…

Well, clearly, there was no choice but for Bella to straddle my lap. It was the only possible configuration that would work. Having no time to waste, I reached my hands up under her skirt as Bella sat next to me and pulled down her panties, tossing them into the front seat. Then it occurred to me that I probably should have kissed her first. I obviously needed to do a better job of controlling my animal urges.

"Come on, love, climb on my lap," I encouraged, putting my hands on Bella's waist and lifting her on top of me, setting her on my legs. With hers on either side of mine, her skirt hiked up to the top of her thighs, and I pushed it up further when my hands fleetingly caressed the smooth skin of her adorable ass. Moving one hand behind her neck, I pulled her towards me, kissing her recklessly, while my other hand tugged her T-shirt out of the waistband of her skirt. Reaching up to unhook her bra, I wisely employed two hands this time. I found her breasts and groaned against Bella's mouth, enthusiastically fondling them.

I captured her nipples between my thumbs and forefingers, pinching and rolling their sensitive nubs until Bella broke our kiss, throwing her head back and moaning aloud. I was frustrated by that layer of fabric between us. I wanted to see her delectable breasts as well as touch them, but was reluctant to unnecessarily remove clothing in view of our situation. Finally, I flipped her bra over her head, which got it out of the way and had the added benefit of holding the front of her T-shirt up. Now my mouth could take over from where my hands had left off.

I adjusted our positions somewhat so Bella's breasts were pretty much suspended in my face. Fucking perfect. I took turns teasing her nipples with my tongue and lips, while lowering my hand to the…most intriguing spot. The fact is, since the moment I had removed her panties, the idea of her bare…assets, vulnerable and easily accessible, her legs already spread on either side of me, had been a burning presence in my brain. When my fingers found her feminine flesh, already so fucking wet, I groaned aloud again. Bella was ready for me…

Still I teased her, loving the helpless sounds she was making, the involuntary writhing of her body, luxuriating in my power over her. When she began making small thrusting movements with her hips, I could delay no longer. That resulted in a few awkward moments of shifting bodies and fumbling to get my jeans out of the way, with eventual success. Bella was surprised when I pulled out a condom.

"Did you decide we needed one anyway?" she inquired, a look of confusion on her face. "There no chance of an STD, you know. I mean, at least if we're both faithful."

I could see the concern in her eyes, the unspoken question. "No, no, Bella it's not that. Of course, I will be faithful to you. You're the only one I want—will ever want." I hastened to reassure her unusual show of insecurity. "It's just…I thought it would be less…messy this way," I explained. "It's not like there's a shower handy."

"Oh, good thinking." The relief was evident in her eyes. "I see you've put some thought into this." She smiled brightly and kissed my cheek in appreciation, assuaging my embarrassment at, yes, having put _a lot_ of thought into this very scenario. The monster, now clutching Bella's panties, gave me a "thumbs up."

I managed to get the damn thing on me in one attempt, pretty good I thought, for a first timer. But then it wasn't exactly rocket science, was it, although I was certainly preparing for blast off. Bella shifted as necessary, before lowering herself slowly down my rigid length. _Oh my God…_

As much as I loved to dominate and control our sexual encounters, it was a refreshing change to let Bella take the lead. In fact, I just had to sit there and enjoy, and that I surely did, both the sensations and the sight of her riding my cock, her fabulous breasts bouncing, her moans and whimpers filling the car. This was fucking wonderful!

I was utterly entranced by her. Seeing her giving herself completely over to the moment, clothing just shoved aside, various exciting body parts on view for my…titillation, while at the same time extravagantly delighting in the feel of her inner walls unrelentingly massaging my cock, seemed to greatly expand the pleasure I felt in spite of the condom. This position was definitely a keeper.

Bella leaned closer to me, increasing our contact, and I wondered if perhaps I should be helping her along. But honestly, I was in no hurry for this to end, so I continued to let her direct our movements, holding off for the time being, blissfully content to caress her luscious curves as she steadily rocked against me. After a couple of minutes, during which I, too, let myself live only in the delicious moment, her rhythm quickened for a short time before her body tensed in my arms, and her inner muscles squeezed my cock. Finally, I could let myself go, roughly gripping the fleshy curves of her ass to hold her to me as I cried out my release. Well, no doubt but that was fucking spectacular…

The monster collapsed in the front seat, fanning itself wildly.

Bella, meanwhile, had disintegrated on top of me, and I held her quietly for a few minutes, stroking her hair and planting tender kisses here and there, as I loved to do at such times. When her breathing returned to normal, she looked at me, seeming strangely shy at the moment, before burying her face in my neck and softly whispering my name. "Edward," she breathed, exerting her power over me with only a single word. Her remark required no response, but I did so anyway, replying, "Yes, love," not as a question, but as a confirmation.

We were running short on time if we weren't to be late again, so I disposed of the condom out the window, hoping that soon there would be a veritable heap of them. We adjusted our clothing and headed back to school, and our new pattern was established. For the next couple of days we disappeared together at lunchtime, exploring our new capabilities. Bella learned which movements brought her the most pleasure. It was simpler for me—the only adjustment I made was to wear a button down shirt, so I could unfasten it and experience the full measure of enjoyment as her breasts swayed against my bare chest.

Emmett soon took to teasing me at every opportunity. "You're getting thin, Edward. Maybe you should eat more," he would joke leeringly about our continued absence from the cafeteria, adding other comments equally as clever. Eventually, I threatened to expose the browser history on his laptop to Rose, knowing it would be rife with porn sites. That shut him up. The monster snickered contemptuously.

No, I wouldn't allow anything to puncture the perfect bubble of happiness in which I blithely resided. After school on Wednesday, a meeting with James being deemed unnecessary, I brought Alice with us to Bella's house so she could make the usual plea to Charlie for an overnight visit on Friday. I had learned that my siblings were going to Seattle after school and declined their offer to join them upon discovering that my parents had plans to be out as well. The idea of being alone with Bella at my house was too alluring of an opportunity to ignore. Sex in the back seat of my car was great, but I missed being on top of Bella, of having her at my mercy. The monster jumped up and down anxiously while Alice worked her persuasive magic, gleefully tossing confetti around when Charlie acquiesced. I tried to hide my excitement, quickly plastering my face in a book and assuming an expression of fascinated concentration.

Thursday brought more wonderful lunchtime sex, and good news, as well. The project from hell would be done on Friday and turned in to the teacher that afternoon. Although the school year was virtually over, it was still nice to know there would be no reason whatsoever for James' presence in our lives after tomorrow. Nothing he did could bother me now, as I waited with calm patience, and for the last time, for the two of them to finish their work. The monster, though, continued to direct suspicious looks in James' direction.

Knowing we would have the entire evening, we skipped the Friday midday…field trip and had lunch with my siblings. I glared at Emmett, just daring him to open his mouth and let some crude inanity emerge. But the others were too engaged with their shopping trip to Seattle and the new restaurant they would be trying to pay much attention. I felt the familiar thrill of excitement that occurred whenever I thought about our private evening home alone. So my thoughts were elsewhere, and I utterly failed to see the threat looming before me.

The first inkling of disaster hit me as I waited for Bella to exit the gym doors after school. And I kept waiting. She had never been this late before, and eventually I realized that no one had passed by me. I began to wonder what was going on. Was the class being held back for some reason? It was making me decidedly, and unreasonably, nervous.

Although under normal circumstances I would never have spoken to him, desperation made me hail Mike Newton when he finally emerged from the gym. I didn't bother with pleasantries, but asked him directly, "Have you seen Bella?"

He smirked infuriatingly at me, no doubt sensing my anxiety, before he responded. "Class got out early today, Cullen. I stuck around to talk to the coach, but everyone's been gone for a while. Maybe she got a ride with someone else," he added with unnecessary glee.

"How early was class dismissed?" I demanded urgently.

"I dunno. About twenty minutes, I guess," he answered sullenly.

 _Shit!_ Checking my watch I realized that would have been well over thirty minutes ago now. Okay, I just needed to calm down. They were probably in the library already. I headed off in that direction.

It took only a minute to determine that the library was completely empty. It was Friday afternoon, and even the most dedicated nerds had gone home. But where in hell was Bella? My level of concern ratcheted up a couple more notches. Could she be waiting by my car?

I retraced my steps, heading back outside. I didn't have to go far before the Volvo entered my line of vision. Bella wasn't there.

Now, panic was setting in. Where could she be? I stood there, dumbfounded, trying to think of what to do next. I jumped when I heard a female voice calling my name, a sense of relief flooding through me as I turned around.

It wasn't Bella. Angela approached me with a pleasant smile. "Hi, Edward."

"Hello, Angela. Have you seen Bella?" I asked, the panic starting to return.

"Yes. I saw her in the library during last period. I guess her gym class got out early. Anyway, she asked me to give you this note, but I've been having trouble finding you," she explained, handing me a folded piece of paper.

A note? What was this all about? I grabbed the paper and hurriedly unfolded it, beyond anxious to discover its contents.

_Edward,_

_As you know, James and I needed to turn in our project today. Gym ended early, so we went to the library to use the printer in the IT room there. Unfortunately, we really needed a color printer, and the one available there is broken. James has one at his house, so we're going there to print it out. I should be back in just a little while and this damn project will be finished!_

_Love,_

_Bella_

_p.s. Don't worry – James assured me his mother would be home. I even heard him talking to her on the phone._

I read the note twice, then stared at Angela, confused and scared. Would his mother really be there? Would James try something?

 _Of course he will you idiot!_ screamed the monster, beside itself with rage.

"Is anything wrong?" Angela inquired.

"I—I don't know. Bella has gone to James' house to print out their report. She knows I don't trust him. But she also says that his mother is in the house, so I suppose—”

Angela cut me off. "Edward, James doesn't live with his parents."

"What do you mean?" I asked stupidly.

"Well, they live somewhere else—south of Seattle, I think. Apparently, they didn't want to move, so they just rented him a house to live in while he finished out the school year. A lot of people hang out there on the weekends—there's always a party." Seeing the stricken look on my face, she added, "I don't know, I suppose his mother could be there for a visit or something…" Her voice trailed off as even she recognized the emptiness of that assurance.

"Where is it? Where does he live?" I demanded.

"I—I don't know! I would never go to one of his parties. I got the impression that it's outside of town though," she added helplessly. "Do you think there's something wrong?

"I'm worried. I've never liked the way he looks at her, but Bella has always dismissed my concern. And now it seems likely that he lied to her about his mother being there, perhaps to get Bella to agree to go with him. I just need to find her, Angela."

I stood there for a moment, trying desperately to think of what I could do. Who would know where he lived? The school was virtually deserted by this time. Who could I ask? Inspiration struck. There was one person who was certain to know that information, and I tore off towards the office leaving Angela staring after me.

I stopped outside the office to calm down, realizing that whatever story I told wouldn't be credible if I was in a panic. I looked through the window of the door and saw that Mrs. Cope was picking up her things, getting ready to leave. I had made it just in time.

"Good afternoon, Mrs. Cope," I said, entering the office with my most winning smile.

"Well, uh, hello, Edward. What are you doing here?" Her voice trembled with nervousness. _Please tell me this old cow doesn't lust after me._

"It's kind of silly, Mrs. Cope. Bella asked me to come and pick her up at James' house, and she forgot to give me his address," I explained, waving the note around as evidence. "Since he's new to town, and I don't know where he lives, I was wondering if you could help me out."

"We're not supposed to do that," she whispered, glancing around her.

"Oh, I know. But I don't have his phone number either, and I'm afraid Bella will worry about me if I don't get there soon." I poured on the charm. Dropping my voice, I whispered conspiratorially, "No one will know—I'll never say a word. I would consider it a great personal favor." I winked at her, hoping the urge to wring her neck wasn't too obvious.

"Oh, all right, Edward. Let me just take a quick look," she agreed, moving to the file cabinet and flipping through file tabs with excruciating slowness. My fingers nervously drummed the counter for a moment before I managed to regain control. The monster paced the floor restlessly, occasionally raising a fist in the air and shaking it at some invisible adversary.

Mrs. Cope removed a file from the drawer, shuffled to her desk, and eased herself into her chair, before picking up a piece of paper to copy down the information. _Christ, was she chiseling it in stone?_

Finally, she raised her hand to offer me the piece of paper. I only just avoided snatching it from her, but the rapidity of my movements still gave her pause. I hurried to make amends.

"Thank you, Mrs. Cope. You're a lifesaver." _You have no idea…_

"It's right up highway one-oh-one, Edward, just at the end of Andersonville Road," she whispered, ogling me in a way that made me want to place my hands in the fig leaf position.

I managed a quick smile and hurriedly left the office, breaking into a full run outside the door. Angela was waiting by my car.

"Did you get it?" she called anxiously as soon as she saw me.

I nodded my head, too winded to respond.

"What can I do?"

"Angela, could you stay here for a little while longer? Just in case Bella returns? I'll call you if…when I find her," I added, panting with exertion and worry.

Quick on the draw, Angela scribbled her cell number on a sheet of paper and thrust it at me. "Call me. I'll be waiting."

I jumped in my car and tore out of the parking lot, reckless in my desperation. Why? Why did she go with him? I was in full-out panic mode now, my mouth dry as dust and my hands shaking. My heart was racing, and my stomach clenched in fear. If he touched one hair on her head, I'd fucking kill him.

The monster, riding shotgun, suddenly produced a wicked looking battle ax and gave a smile of pure evil.


	24. Chapter 24

I drove like a maniac while the monster brandished its ax. My thoughts were awhirl with the potential disasters this situation offered. Why? Why had Bella gone with James? She knew I had suspicions about him. And she had promised me never to be alone with him. Even if his mother was there, an unlikely circumstance, she still went off unaccompanied with him in a car. And that thought gave me pause…

What if she wanted to be alone with him? It was a horrible idea, a terrifying concept, and I dismissed it immediately. But as I drove like a madman, it refused to completely dissipate. No, Bella would never do that to me. She loved me utterly. But then why would she put herself in this position? No, it was impossible. She had never indicated in any way that she was interested in James. But why did others think so, even if they were complete morons? No, I couldn't believe it. Yet, didn't my sisters think James was attractive? Perhaps I had missed something obvious to everyone else.

A new fear warred with my original misgivings. I had thought I was racing off to rescue Bella, or at least to give her an easy exit from what _could_ be an uncomfortable situation. I now had to consider the possibility that my sudden appearance would be unwelcome to her, an embarrassment even. I felt a crushing sense of heartsickness at the merest possibility this could be true. The monster looked stricken.

No. _Nononofuckingway!_ I would not accept it. I would not let fear ignite groundless insecurities in my brain. But as I turned onto Andersonville Road, I realized I could not do other than take that scenario into account, regardless of how unlikely it really was, and my original intention of immediately bursting through the door like an avenging archangel gave way to greater caution. Finally pulling up in front of James' secluded house, I paused for a moment, taking a deep but shaky breath in a vain attempt to calm myself. _What would I find?_

Feeling like a deviant, I slowly approached the picture window at the front of the house, the monster tiptoeing by my side. There were blinds hanging inside it, but they were slatted open enough so that I could peer inside, probably without being seen. I focused my eyes, and my heart stopped.

They were on the sofa, James lying on top of Bella. They appeared to be engaged in a heated make-out session. With James' face plastered against Bella's neck, I couldn't see her expression, and I consciously registered the very small favor of not having to see the passion that would animate her features. But that was the only redeeming sliver of relief as I watched my whole world crashing down. Seeing James' hand start to creep up the outside of Bella's thigh and approach the hem of her skirt, I had to support my weight against the window sill and lean forward, feeling sick to my core. I knew I would never recover from this. The monster slumped down in a heap, whimpering and clutching its useless ax.

Prompted by some sort of masochistic reflex, I raised my eyes to the window one last time before turning to leave. As I did so, the corner of my eye caught some defining movement. Bella's face turned in my direction, and instantly, everything changed.

Her features didn't reflect passion or anything resembling it. Her eyes were wide open in fear and anger, her lovely mouth twisted in disgust. It wasn't desire, but repulsion that was written all over her face. I then realized that Bella's visible hand wasn't clasping James' shoulder to hold him closer, but was placed there for leverage, undoubtedly trying to shove him away. The monster and I leapt into action.

Rushing to the front door of the house, intending to break it down if necessary, I thrust my shoulder against it at the same time as I gave the handle a turn. It was lucky, I suppose, that the door was unlocked, although not so fortunate for me as I stumbled into the room with all the aplomb of a drunken baboon. The monster fared no better, flying in the door after me and gracelessly tripping over the handle of its ax. Despite the less than stealthy entry, however, neither James nor Bella apparently heard me over the noise of her protestations. I was already enraged, of course, but her fearful and angry exclamations made me go berserk.

"James, no! I said NO!" she kept repeating. "Stop it! Get off of me, you pig!" Apparently she must have managed to hurt him as well, since I heard him grunt, with what I certainly hoped was pain.

I rushed over to the sofa, Bella's eyes widening first in shock and then closing in relief when she saw me. Without warning, I grabbed the back of the collar of James' shirt and yanked him up and off of her body, pushing him in the opposite direction. Luckily, he caught his balance on the only chair in the sparsely furnished room and turned around to face me, outraged shock contorting his features. I considered his landing fortunate, anyway, since I wanted him standing on his feet for what was coming.

"What the fuck?" he stammered.

"You son of a bitch," I cursed threateningly. "You've been planning this all along, you bastard." I couldn't hold back any longer, striding across the room in three steps and punching him in the face. My brain vaguely registered the pain in my hand, as well as a gasp from Bella, but neither could deter me. The momentum from my punch made James fall back forcefully into the chair again, another advantage for me. This way I wouldn't have to pick him up off the floor to hit him again, which I very much intended to do.

James was holding the side of his face and already looked beaten, but I was just getting started. The lesson hadn't nearly been taught yet. I picked him up by his shirt collar again, surprised at how easy it was to lift him. I lectured him some more as my arm cocked back for another go.

"What kind of sick fuck are you?" I slammed my fist into his face again. It hurt so good, and I watched with satisfaction as he flopped back into the chair. "Stand up, James. I'm not done with you," I insisted. His eyes went to the side, looking for an avenue of escape, evidently. When he didn't move, I pulled him back up again by his shirt collar, now beginning to rip at the seams. The monster, having somewhere along the way painted its face blue, was jumping up and down, viciously swinging its ax through the air and yelling some primitive war cry.

"Do you want me to hit you again, James?" I snarled at him.

"No," he yelped like a willful toddler.

"I'm pretty sure I heard the lady saying _no_ too. So I think you need to learn what it's like to have your choices overridden by someone bigger and stronger," I hissed. I punched him in the stomach this time, sparing my hand the impact with his jaw bone, and he doubled over before falling back into the chair, wheezing for breath. Fuck, this was way too easy, but I should have known he'd be a pussy on top of everything else.

While James was learning to breathe again, I looked over at Bella. Shit, she looked scared. I needed to end this.

I pulled James out of the chair, turned him slightly, and punched him in the face again, just for good measure. He stumbled across the room, landing on his ass and sliding a couple of feet. I strode over to him, lifted him slightly by the front of his shirt, and practically spitting down at him, furiously choked out between clenched teeth, "Don't come back to school, James. In fact, leave town. If I ever see you again, I'll kick your ass. If Bella even thinks she sees you, I will cheerfully beat you to death. Do you understand, fuckhead?"

He nodded slightly, cringing away from me. Just to make sure he wouldn't get up again for a while, I put my shoe on his balls and pushed myself upright, exerting sufficient pressure to make him squeal and curl up in a ball on the floor. I walked away in disgust, leaving the monster to mop up.

Stopping in front of Bella, hands on my hips, I gulped in a couple of mouthfuls of air and looked down at her. Her eyes were wide and her arms were wrapped around her, clutching her sides. I was still too full of adrenalin to be gentle. "Where are your things?" I demanded.

She looked down, and I saw her backpack lying on the floor. I grabbed the strap and then her hand, seriously needing to get out of there. James continued to moan on the floor, the monster growling at him and adding a kick or two at its leisure.

It wasn't until we got to my car that I slowed our pace, stopping to take Bella into my shaking arms. She laid her hands on either side of my chest and rubbed her forehead between them, seeming to want to burrow inside me. I tightened my embrace and finally was able to speak without obvious anger.

"Are you all right?" I asked, as softly as I could under the circumstances.

The rubbing of her forehead against my chest assumed an up and down movement, but she didn't speak. I had been in time, hadn't I?

"Bella," I tried more gently, "are you all right? Did he hurt you?"

"No. I'm okay," she whispered, finally looking up at me. "Actually, things just got…physical a couple of minutes before you arrived. The rest of the time he was trying out his seduction routine. It was pathetic."

I relaxed a bit then, brushing the hair out of her eyes. Her arms went around my torso and she hugged me tightly, her body slackening in relief against mine. We stood there for a time, just holding onto one another. But I began to question why I wasn't really calming down. I decided we better get out of there. I helped Bella into the car, throwing her pack in the back seat. As I got in on the driver's side, I wondered one thing.

"That fucking project—you are done? Do you need to go back to school to hand it in?" I didn't want her grades to suffer because of this insane episode.

Bella shivered. "No. I'll email it to the teacher and let him know I'll give him a hard copy when the printer is working again. I don't want to go back to school."

"Do you want to go home?" I asked.

"No. I don't want to Charlie to start asking questions. I’d rather stay with you," she explained. "Let's go to your house, like we planned."

The discussion of school reminded me of poor Angela, waiting for word. I handed my phone to Bella along with the piece of paper on which Angela had written her number.

"Angela found me when I was in a bit of a panic. She's waiting at school to make sure you're all right. If you don't want to call her, I will," I offered.

Bella quickly turned towards me, frantic suddenly. "Who else knows about this?"

I ceased my activities, turning in my seat to face her. "No one, Bella, just Angela. She's worried too, so one of us needs to call her and assure her you're okay. You know she won't tell anyone if that's what you want."

“I just feel so stupid—I’d rather not have to explain this to anyone.”

Bella picked up the phone and dialed the number while I started the car and drove away. I vaguely registered her conversation with Angela while heading towards home. My curiosity was occupied by something else though.

There was a feeling raging through me that I couldn't identify. It had to be adrenalin from the fight, didn't it? I mean, I had never really been in a physical altercation before, so I had no idea how long it took to emotionally recover from such engagements. But there was some sort of excitement coursing through my body in increasing doses, which didn't make any sense. I should be getting calmer, not experiencing greater tension.

I glanced at Bella and noticed she was still shaking a bit. Now that her phone call was completed, I took her hand in mine, squeezing it gently. At the next stop, I paused for a moment to study her, and suddenly, I knew what was happening to me. There was a reason I felt…tense, and it had nothing to do with adrenalin and everything to do with the blood pooling in my groin as I watched Bella.

 _Fuck!_ _This couldn't be happening!_ But it was. I wasn't shaking with suppressed fury, I was trembling with need. I could only assume that some primitive innate response had been trigged by the fight. I had fought the battle and won, and my body automatically concluded that the spoils were mine and I deserved to take them. It was utterly ridiculous and completely undeniable. As if to demonstrate, the monster, face still blue, was ogling Bella as if he wanted to devour her.

I tried desperately to keep my mind on my driving, but my…condition was getting worse by the moment. And holy Christ, the visuals were starting now to fuel the flames. I tried to muzzle my thoughts, but it seemed I was completely helpless before the powerful nature of my ancestral programming. I was the victor, my genes were superior, and my body was demanding that I disperse my seed for the benefit of all humankind.

So, as much as I worked to prevent it, I was unable to stop the images of pulling the car over, dragging Bella from her seat, and bending her over the hood of the Volvo. And of course, they didn't stop there. Next I was throwing her skirt over her back, ripping her panties off and thrusting my rigid cock deep inside her while I held her immobile against the car, claiming my due and natural reward and assuring the continued survival of the species. It was untenable!

I stole a glance at Bella, sitting quietly next to me, clutching my hand. That was a mistake. She looked so delicate, so vulnerable, so fucking _takeable_.

It had to stop. _This_ had to stop. I worshipped this woman next to me. She had just been manhandled against her will by that asshole James, and here my fantasies were far worse. I was a bigger pig than he was! The monster snorted repeatedly and then squealed.

No matter what, I was going to have to stay away from Bella until this passed. The feelings I was experiencing now were far more intense than even at the height of the BSR Plan. In fact, I wasn't sure I could ever remember wanting her this desperately before.

I pulled up in front of my home slowly, suddenly reluctant to go inside. Bella looked at me, puzzled for a moment, before opening her door. That got me moving, and I jumped out to run around and assist her. I let her head towards the house while I dawdled getting her pack out of the back seat. In that way, I managed to avoid touching her, or even getting too close, on the way into the house.

I lingered again in the foyer, stopping to adjust my jeans and watch while Bella seated herself on the sofa in the living room. I dropped her pack and took a chair that was just close enough so we wouldn't actually have to shout at one another to be heard. Bella looked at me quizzically, and I gave her a shaky smile.

"Are you sure you're all right, Bella?" I inquired in an attempt to divert her attention and deflate my cock.

"Yes, I really am okay. I just feel like such an idiot. How could I have been so stupid?" She truly looked dismayed…and so fucking delectable. My pulse skipped at the sight of the adorable confusion adorning her features.

"You shouldn't blame yourself," I advised. "This was entirely James' doing, and I suspect he'd been trying to figure out a way to get you alone for quite a while. What would you like to do now?"

She looked a little embarrassed. "He didn't really touch me or anything. I even kept my mouth clamped shut most of the time. But I still just feel a little…dirty. I think I'd be fine if I had a shower."

The monster, sitting at Bella's feet, perked up considerably, while I suppressed a groan.

Christ, she had used the _S-_ word. _God help me._ I had to be able to do this. I had to be able to help her through this without assaulting her. I nodded and rose to my feet, preparing to follow Bella to my room, afraid she would realize something was wrong if I loitered downstairs.

_I won't watch her ass… I won't watch her ass…_

Of course, my eyes were glued to her ass as she walked upstairs. I was starting to breathe harder now, and it wasn't due to exertion. Arriving in my room, I fell back on the sofa and tried to look anywhere but at Bella. I failed.

I saw her shrug a bit before heading into the bathroom, giving the door only a slight push so it partially closed. _Shit! Close the fucking door… Close the fucking door…_

She didn't close the fucking door, leaving plenty of room for the monster to peer inside. And me. I caught a glimpse of bare limbs and sweet curves before the frosted door of the shower closed and her body became a vague outline. I closed my eyes to dispel the image, which was immediately replaced with even lewder graphics.

I slumped forward on the sofa, resting my elbows on my knees and dropping my face into my hands. _How could this be happening to me?_ From the very first moment I saw her, Bella's sense of vulnerability had…appealed to me. I also recognized that James' attentions to her had always had an undesirable effect on me, bringing urgency to the already strong drive I had to claim and possess her. But this, this was beyond all my experience. The residual energy from the fight, when added to my pre-existing impulses, had apparently transformed into some basic, feral instinct to assert my will. _Christ, I was shaking…_

Hoisting my frame up from the couch, I began pacing the room while giving myself, and the monster, a rigorous lecture. Again. _Now, Bella's been through enough for one day. The last thing she needs is you pawing at her too. So, just relax Edward. You can do this! You can just hold her, be the supportive, loving boyfriend she needs._ The monster gave a dubious snort.

Caught up as I was, I hadn't heard the shower turn off, but I innocently turned around as I heard the door swing open. _Fuck!_ Bella emerged with only a towel wrapped around her, looking warm and wet and incredibly inviting, just like a certain part of her body…

I gulped convulsively, terror stricken, and as Bella began to approach me, I wrapped my arms around my body and, like an abject coward, took refuge behind the sofa. Of course, she noticed, and a hurt expression subdued her face. Unconsciously mirroring my stance, her arms crossed around her body, her fingers clutching her waist.

She looked at the floor before asking, in a plaintive voice, "What's wrong, Edward? Are you angry with me?"

"No. No, not at all," I responded, suddenly realizing it wasn’t truly anger, but fear that drove my passions. Fear that I could lose her, fear that I couldn’t protect my lust magnet. It wasn't her fault, but reason had nothing to do with the emotional upheaval at hand. The monster gave me a vicious kick in the ankle.

"Then why are you so distant?" she asked imploringly.

It was stupid, I suppose, not to realize that my actions, or lack thereof, might hurt her. And her sensitive demeanor wasn't helping the situation any. Seriously, how much more assailable could she look, standing there wet and helpless, clad only in a towel that was now clearly remaining stationary solely by the pressure of her arms against her body. It was only fair to her to confess my weakness.

"Bella…you really should stay away from me," I admitted shame-faced.

"You are angry," Bella whispered dejectedly. "I'm so sorry, Edward. I know I was an idiot. I just really never thought—"

I cut her off. "No, Bella. It's not that. I…I'm having some trouble controlling myself at the moment. You see…you see I want you so desperately right now that I can't trust myself. If I touch you, if I even get near you, I'm going to explode. And it wouldn't be making love, Bella. It would be driven by…something else—by fear or need or some savage compulsion. And I couldn't be tender with you, which is what you need right now. I'm afraid I might scare you or hurt you, so I'm trying to keep my distance," I explained in a rush.

"Don't you understand?" she pleaded, frantically imploring me to, well, understand. "It's what I need too! I _need_ to be with you…I _need_ to know I belong to you and only to you."

Her arms extended towards me, and that fucking towel hit the floor.

I couldn't even remember crossing the room to her, but suddenly there I was, one hand grasping her face, holding her still as my tongue pillaged her mouth, while the other grabbed a fleshy curve of her ass, crushing her against my body. Small but insistent noises were coming from the back of my throat as she responded equally to the urgency of my kisses. And perhaps her eagerness to be with me, her expressed willingness to yield to me, was the only thing that could have prevented me from taking her like an unhinged animal. Perhaps…

I thought no more about it, or anything other than Bella and reestablishing my claim to her body. My hand descended to join the other clasped on her backside, and I lifted her body, striding to the bed. I had to once again fight the urgent need to turn her over and enter her from behind as she lay helpless, having at least an ounce of civility left in me, but knew the idea was only delayed, not abandoned. _Another time_ , I promised myself…

I struggled to hastily remove my clothes, my voracious attention never wavering from her body while I breathlessly undressed. Her eyes traveled down my body, and Bella propped herself on her elbows, staring at my arousal. I perversely hoped it was concern I saw in her expression.

Standing next to the bed, looming over her as she lay across it, my hands reached out and pressed against the inside of her knees, spreading her legs wide for me. As I stood there, staring at…my possession, she began to tremble, but fortunately withstood any impulse she might have had to protect her modesty. While I knew with utter certainty that I would never ignore her wishes, the knowledge that she wanted me too, that she consented to my actions, perversely strengthened my need to have my way. It seemed she understood better than I did myself, as she lay completely back and let her arms rest beside her head in a gesture of undeniable submission. I actually growled my triumph and mounted the bed, positioning myself between her legs.

My hand went directly to her sex, taking delightful note of the moisture, but seeking to confirm her readiness by slipping a finger inside her. Oh, she was ready all right. When I felt her muscles clench, I lost what little reserve was remaining, and lowering my body, I buried myself inside her.

Bella gasped and stiffened before relaxing once again and wrapping her legs around me. The monster had complete control of me now, as I thrust unrelentingly inside her, capturing her with my arms to hold her steady for my driving onslaught, re-claiming her with my cock.

And yes, there it was—the fear, the need, the domination—all coming to the fore, all bursting out of me with each pitiless stroke. My assault was ruthless but short lived. I couldn't wait for Bella—I couldn't wait for anything. Not this time. My hips thrust one last time, my hand trailing down her back to lift and position her hips for optimal contact before my release immobilized me, and I shuddered with a sob of relief. The last of the brutish emotions dissipated as I recovered lying atop her, gasping for breath, and remorse struck a moment later. Well, struck me at least. The monster didn't look any too ashamed, a giddy smile plastered across its victorious face.

"Bella, God, don't hate me for that. Please, don't hate me," I groaned, unable to look at her.

"Don't be silly, Edward. I could never hate you." She gently combed her fingers through my hair. "I don't think you realize that I needed to be with you as much as you wanted to be with me."

That got my attention. I propped myself up and stared down into Bella's eyes. I searched her face, fearful of seeing disgust or aversion. I saw neither. I saw nothing but love. _How could this be?_

I kissed her, this time not seeking to be the conqueror in some undeclared war, but to express my abject love and devotion. My tongue stroked hers, willing her to understand, as one hand trailed the length of her side, slipping between us to caress her breast and tease her nipple. Bella moaned into my mouth, her hips tilting forward towards mine.

I had never left her, and that seemed a good thing now, as my body quickly began to recover. My desire grew for her and in her, and I began to gently move against her, hoping to advance the process. I wanted nothing more than to gratify her now. Her vocal encouragements did more to reignite my capabilities than anything.

Apparently, my shameless demonstration of a few minutes ago had still been effective as a warm-up for Bella, much to my surprise and delight. My current endeavors served as a continuation then, and now we proceeded to the main event, so to speak. My movements intensified, as did my efforts to provide stimulation. I planted sweet kisses on her neck, utilizing my teeth when I got to the juncture of her shoulder. Bella shivered and clasped me closer. My hand, now almost trapped between our bodies, continued to fondle her breast, pinching and rolling the sensitive tip, each maneuver eliciting a greater response.

"Don't stop," Bella whispered raggedly, her eyes closed to me, her head turning back and forth. "Don't stop, Edward."

"Never, love, never," I affirmed, responding to a different, unspoken request.

I was prepared to persist for hours, if necessary, to bring her the happiness she deserved, not to mention to atone for sating myself like a beast before. Propping myself on my elbows, my hands placed to gently hold her head still, I allowed my tongue to tenderly explore her mouth once again. I recalled the days when all of this was still a fantasy of mine, when simultaneously penetrating her with my tongue and my cock represented the height of my desire. But now, to be able to do so, and to experience at the same time such desperate love for her, was utterly exhilarating.

I began to move with more purpose now, striving to bring her to fulfillment, to bring her closer to me, to bring her to share in the ecstasy I now felt and she so richly deserved. Her moans and whimpers filled my mouth, her fingers clawed at my body, but I did not release her. She withdrew to some place inside, and still I held her, loved her. I wouldn't allow her to be alone now, whispering my love for her, how wonderful she was, that she was my whole world, as I again made her mine. When her eyes widened and she convulsed against me, I plunged yet deeper inside her. And when she had experienced the full magnitude of her pleasure, I let myself go, holding onto her for dear life. As I always would.

And the monster, realizing at the moment that three was a crowd, snuck quietly from the room.


	25. Chapter 25

Epilogue

I couldn't sit still. I just kept pacing, tripping over the monster now and again as it shadowed me, both of us trying to contain our excitement. We had been planning this for the last several weeks, and the time had finally arrived. It had taken a bit of work—well, mostly lying, to be precise. Not so much on my part, as I was just opting out of my family's long weekend to the big city. But Alice had helped concoct a story for Charlie allowing Bella to spend the next three days with me in glorious solitude at my house. It would be the highlight of my summer.

Not that this summer was turning out to be anything other than wonderful, well, with one annoying but tolerable exception. Bella had felt compelled to take a part-time job, working at Newton's store, trying to save money for college. I didn't exactly like the fact that she spent time in Newton's company. Every time I stopped in there, which was quite often, I found him mooning over her. It always made me chuckle to see Bella's look of annoyance as he hovered around her. He was harmless, anyway.

The only real threat had been dealt with. James was gone—smart enough, at least, to take heed of my warnings. He had never returned for the last three days of school, and I heard shortly afterward that he had moved back into whatever hole from which he originally crawled. I could only hope the lesson I had taught him had made an impression in more ways than one, and that the girls at his new school would be safe from his predations.

Bella's job aside, it was still my greatest hope that she wouldn't need any money for college—that before we went away she would agree to marry me, and I would endow her with all my worldly goods. I had been brave enough to subtly raise the subject once or twice this summer and hoped I was making progress. She knew I would agree to any sort of ceremony—big or small, posh or plain—so that we could be together all the time. I certainly intended that we live together at college regardless, but desired more than ever that our arrangement be made permanent.

And as long as we were together, I wasn't all that particular about where we attended college. We'd spent quite a lot of time discussing it lately, but as far as I was concerned, the only prerequisites were that we both be accepted and that freshmen not be required to live on campus. We had started compiling a list of schools to which we would apply, remarkable more for its diversity than anything else. Although it was still a full year away, I couldn't help but focus on it more and more. Spending so much time together this summer only whetted my appetite for her constant companionship.

So, other than the half-days Bella spent working, we were having a lazy, enjoyable summer. We had many leisurely picnics in the meadow, making good use of the inspiration provided by that plaid blanket this time around. We took long walks in the woods, talking about our days and our future, and instead of inseminating trees, I got to inseminate Bella up against a tree or twenty. Sleepovers "with Alice" were common, allowing for many nights of pleasure, and as many long showers as would go without comment. And all of that was about to pale into comparison to this of all weekends. I rubbed my hands together gleefully and snickered as I saw the monster do the same.

The doorbell rang, and I just about jumped out of my skin. I took a deep breath to calm myself and walked over to the door, opening it slowly. I really wanted to enjoy my first impression. One look and I thought my cock might hit me in the face.

Wearing an outfit I had picked out in every particular, Bella stood on the front porch. She looked so fucking adorably desirable that I had trouble sucking the suddenly overheated air into my lungs. I slowly scanned her figure, absorbing every detail.

She wore a tight white button down shirt that stretched across her fabulous curves. I could just make out the lacy outline of her white push-up bra underneath. Although Bella didn't need such enhancements, I was going for an innocently slutty look here. Naturally, she wore a red plaid pleated mini skirt, presumably with white lace panties underneath, and if I wasn't already hard as an anvil, that skirt alone would have done the job nicely. Finally, her outfit was finished with white over the knee stockings and a pair of black shoes with modest heels and a strap across the foot. Very demure indeed. The monster, as always, craned to look up her skirt.

Bella was playing her role to a tee, having styled her hair in two long braids, an afterthought I truly appreciated. In her hands, she held a binder and a math book. She gave me a tentative smile before launching into her role.

"Hi, Edward. Thank you for agreeing to help me with my math homework. I really appreciate it, knowing how busy you are," she said shyly.

I suppressed a snicker, and making my voice firm, responded, "Come in, Bella. I do hope you're serious about wanting to improve in math. I wouldn't like to think I'm wasting my time."

"Oh, I'm very serious, Edward. And so grateful. I just don't understand why I'm struggling so much," she added with a dumb but cute expression on her face.

"Well then, let's work here in the living room. We can sit next to each other on this sofa, and you can put your books on the coffee table." I discreetly adjusted myself before leading Bella into the room, sitting on the couch and patting the space next to me. "Sit here, Bella."

She sat down next to me, and from this angle, I was getting a much better view of the wonderful things that bra was doing for her already spectacular breasts. I licked my lips before wrenching my eyes to her face. The monster sat on the coffee table, still endeavoring to get a view of the money shot.

"Now, Bella, why don't you show me the problems you're having trouble with."

"Okay, I marked the page." She placed the book on her lap and opened it up to a set of math problems, showing them to me. I rested my hand on her thigh while glancing at the page.

I briefly explained the first problem to her and instructed her to have a go at it. She worked it diligently for a minute before handing me her answer.

"Tsk, tsk, Bella. I'm afraid this is quite wrong. Are you sure you were paying attention to me?" I inquired condescendingly.

She nodded emphatically, adding, "I'm sorry, Edward. I did try."

"Well, I think perhaps you need some motivation to do better," I concluded. "Try again, and I should warn you that in my opinion, learning is facilitated if there are direct consequences for failure. Perhaps you'll learn faster if we instill a sense of…discipline into the process."

Her eyes widened appropriately, and she went back to work, nibbling on the end of the pencil in a show of utmost concentration. After a few moments, she triumphantly handed the paper back to me.

I glanced at the obviously wrong answer for only a moment before giving her a look implying that while I didn't want to chastise her, it was necessary for her own good. "Bella, I'm very disappointed. I think in order to make this worthwhile, you're going to have to show me that you are truly committed to improving. Besides, I understand that…emphasizing the learning process with certain physical…reinforcement can be most beneficial."

"Oh, okay, Edward," she replied with an expression of idiotic confusion. _She was so fucking cute…_

My hand went to the back of her neck to hold her steady for a slow but thorough kiss. My tongue invaded her mouth while my free hand trailed up her body, stopping to cup her breast and roughly squeeze and fondle her enticing flesh. After a minute, I leaned away, panting, and Bella's eyes remained closed for a few moments longer.

"Now," I breathed, "I shall feel free to augment the lessons by taking increasing liberties until I see that you really comprehended the material. Go on to the next problem."

"’Kay," Bella sighed, retrieving her pencil and paper and spending a very short time performing the calculations.

I shook my head as I reviewed her ridiculous attempt at the problem. Affecting an air of sadness, I carried on with our game. "Bella, this is truly pitiful. I'm afraid I'm going to have to try and motivate you more."

I kissed her again, more aggressively this time, while my right hand unfastened one of her buttons, slipping inside the cup of her bra this time to caress her bare skin, pinching and rolling her nipple until she moaned into my mouth. Bella remained passive, correctly assessing my mood, sensing my desire to "take advantage" of her.

Our game continued, Bella making half hearted attempts to formulate answers, while I informed her of her mistakes with suppressed glee before giving her additional…instructions. With the next error, I unbuttoned her shirt completely and planted my face in her glorious cleavage, plumping both her breasts with my hands while wallowing in her sweet flesh. She gave me a correct answer after that, just to tease me I think, but I praised her efforts sincerely while casting a doleful eye on her breasts. Then, with the succeeding error, I pushed the cups of her bra aside and suckled a nipple, letting my hand torment the other one, until Bella's head fell backwards and her moans became continuous. I left her breasts exposed, watching with glee as her nipples grew darker as a result of several more wrong answers and my increasingly voracious attacks on them.

After inflicting myself on her, she would sometimes ask me a question, _ad libbing_ the script, as it were.

"Are you sure this will help me understand, Edward?" Bella inquired ingenuously, looking dubiously her breasts to make her meaning clear.

"Oh, it's a proven technique," I assured her with conviction. "Increased…stimulation definitely assists the learning process."

"Okay," she agreed in blithe ignorance, while I eagerly awaited the next incorrect answer.

When it inevitably appeared, I sighed dramatically, telling Bella, "I'm afraid more concerted efforts on my part are required." I kissed her ruthlessly and slowly slid my hand up her skirt and inside her panties which, I noted with delight, were soaked through. This game was going to have to progress quickly now, because I was desperate to be inside her. The monster flipped through the math book, looking for increasingly difficult problems.

In the meantime, desperate for release now, I let my fingers manipulate Bella's warm, wet flesh while planting kisses on her neck and breasts. She was whimpering now, pressing her hips forward to increase the pressure. I needed some friction myself, and broke off so she could address one last problem. Bella looked at me with glazed eyes and heavy lids, and I almost threw in the towel at that point but decided it would be more fun to finish the game.

"One more try," I insisted, pointing to another problem. "I'm sure you'll get it right this time."

She picked up the pencil that had fallen by the wayside and glanced at the book. "Edward, a lot of my friends have tutors, and they never told me about, um…anything like this."

"While I admit that my…techniques may be…unorthodox, they are based on proven scientific technique. I'm making a great personal sacrifice here to help you with your schoolwork, you know. I think it would be only gracious of you to acknowledge that fact and cooperate with the process," I responded sternly.

"Oh, of course, Edward. You're so smart—I'm sure you know best," she agreed quickly in the most adorably dumb fashion.

I ignored the monster's evil leer, waiting for the moment to take the lesson to its conclusion. I almost laughed out loud at her truly pathetic answer to the problem, emitting an exasperated sigh instead.

"I'm afraid it's going to be necessary to…drill the information into you with a…little more force. This is for your own good, Bella. Please stand up."

She looked so deliciously fetching, playing nervously with one braid while assuming a demeanor of shame and contrition.

I escorted her around to the back of the couch and demanded, "Now, bend over."

She just looked at me, wide-eyed and fearful. I creased my brow, assuming an expression of utmost authority, prompting Bella to bend over the top of the couch and arch her back invitingly, leaning her forearms on the top edge of the sofa for support.

I eagerly lifted up her skirt, pulling her panties down only as far as necessary to gain access to the most inviting bits. I just loved the sight of those lacy white panties twisted around her thighs, exposing her perfect ass. I threw my T-shirt over my head and unfastened my belt and zipper, pulling my jeans and boxers down enough to get the job done. I have no idea why it seemed so erotic to me at that moment to just push clothing out of the way rather than strip her naked, but it was doing something wicked to my libido.

My hands began to grope at the fleshy curves of her ass before one crept around to the front, continuing to tease and manipulate her soft folds. Knowing there was no question about her readiness, I aligned myself and entered her roughly, before beginning to slowly and deliberately thrust inside her. _Fuck me, but this is heaven…._

I plunged deeply inward, keeping a steady rhythm, teasing her sensitive flesh, my desires in conflict as I sought to increase the tension and yet prolong the scenario I had anticipated for such a long time. I worked at achieving maximum stimulation, pulling out as far as possible before immersing my cock fully inside her. Each time I drove myself in, I watched the exquisite sight of my cock disappearing inside her warm, wet flesh, and my groans and incoherent exclamations grew louder and fiercer.

I increased the speed of my fingers and my cock, her tight walls gripping me, caressing me with every stroke. God forgive me, but I reveled in her helplessness, my eyes feasting on her exposed ass, framed by that red plaid skirt on one side and her sexy little panties on the other, her braids flipping back and forth while I pounded against her and encouraged her responsive whimpers with my fingers. I wished I could see the way her breasts would undoubtedly be lewdly bouncing around, and I made a brief mental note to set up a mirror for similar future encounters.

The game had built my readiness to its heights, and lunging inside her so deeply, burying myself completely, was making it difficult for me to hang on. Fortunately, I could sense Bella's completion at hand. She was making inhuman noises and moaning repeatedly between exclamations of "God, oh God" and "fuck, Edward," and other utterly seductive sounds that were helping to push me over the edge. When I felt her muscles clench around me, I came with a violence I hadn't imagined possible, pumping my release into her while my hands restrained her hips to maintain our contact until the last.

I collapsed over Bella, trying not to subject her to all my weight, and briefly squeezed one breast to make up for its earlier lack of attention. She flinched against me, and I released her in order to reach for the tissues I had placed on the end table earlier, having strangely foreseen this exact scenario. The monster, apparently not understanding the game had reached its end, went back to flipping through the math book.

We did a provisional clean up, and Bella turned around, curving her arms around my neck and looking teasingly at me. "Edward, I do think that helped. I feel smarter already," she joked, all signs of the dim-witted schoolgirl gone. She kissed me before heading to the bathroom.

Yes, it was a fantastic start to the weekend, but only a start. After adjusting my clothing and taking a seat, the monster handed me that list, one more box boldly checked on it. Let's see, what would we try next? Should it be the blue corset? The velvet ropes and blindfold? It didn't really matter. We'd get to them all eventually. After all, the list was very, very long—long enough for forever.


End file.
